A question about your wive/girlfriend

[tbdanny]

My fiance has always been supportive of my hobby, to the extent that she's told me the garage is my domain to do as I want with it.  She's not really that interested in the construction of it, but does enjoy seeing the finished product.  She even brought her family to last year's Brisbane model train show, which is the biggest one of the year.  My mother-in-law-to-be is a former art teacher turned artist, and she's willing to share her experience in that area with me as well.

[ollevon]

Hi, Frank!

  I too am one of the lucky ones. My wife of 45yrs has been supportive of all of everything I do. Because of my work schedule, I really never had time for any type of hobby. Back in 1992 she said to me: Sam what are you going to do when you retire? I said good lord! That won't be until 2008.She said I know but you  should start thinking of something. Something like what I said. Well'   she said .when I was a young girl in high school my girl-friend Donna ask me if I would like to see something really cool, and I said sure. She brought me down her basement to show me her dads trains.That really something to see she said. I said ,TRAINS really? I love trains, I had  a train set when I was a kid. She said you know we have that large space in the basement, so you really have the perfect place for it. Yes your right I do have the space. (it always helps to say, yes your right) Well that really got my juices flowing. I said  I'm not going to wait till I retire. I want to start now. So back in 1992 I started my first layout. She backed me all the way, she always ask,any train shows this week-end, she loves train shows. She spends $$$ as well as I do She loves craft-men kits. She buys them, I build them. Yep I am a lucky one too. I'll keep her for another 45 years

    Sam

[TMarsh]

My wife is perfect. She doesn’t care what I do as long as it’s legal and it doesn’t involve…..another woman. Unless it’s the dog.

When we married she did not know of my plans. I did not have a layout and all my “stuff” was still at my parents house in the basement in boxes. Life got in the way quickly and the dream layout just kept getting put off. Fast forward to a few years ago. As I was moving things out of my Mom’s house, I discovered my boxes of trains and old 4X 8 layout propped up against the wall behind some plywood. The old fire was lit again and I hauled it all to “my room“ in the basement. I built the room when we finished the basement in the late 90‘s with the intention of it ending up a train room, which she knew, but again life just kept grinding and time slipped away.

Now, I have my room and I’m trudging away on the layout. She never says anything about the length of time I spend in the train room and even allowed me to remove a wall between my original train room and the son’s old room. All I had to say was “I wish I’d built my room bigger“. “You can take out the wall” she said between bites. “yes I suppose I could” I responded and casually did so about a week later.

She has purchased things for me in the past at the LHS with the help of the employees and an empty package from a turnout to make sure she got something that would fit. And THAT gentlemen, was a guess that worked out AOK. Also a good reason to never throw anything away. She also bought a couple of DP buildings that worked and a couple cars that, since I freelance, oddly enough will work also. She has not bought anything else other than at a garage sale she picked up an incredible amount of ballast, ground foam and most a box of Real Trees for like $10. She always keeps an eye out but rarely buys. She knows certain things will work and many things won’t so she just points out, or calls.

She does attend the local train shows with me, but I doubt she would want to travel to a show or anything except for the trip. She has no interest in trains, but would like to ride one. Again, just for a trip.

Considering the amount of projects I have that are either unstarted or incomplete around the house, and considering on those occasions when I spend too much time in the train room instead of doing what needs to be done and she never complains, I think after 20 years…..She may just work out. I’ll keep her.

 

[Colorado_Mac]

My wife is perfect when it comes to my hobbies - she encourages my model railroad at home and the club, but has absolutely no desire to join in the modeling, which is just fine with me.  She doesn't begrudge me a penny and often "railfans" with me at cool museums or tourist lines.  When it comes to my old cars, she loves to ride them and go to car shows, but doesn't want to turn a wrench, which is also good.  Gives us each some "me" time...

 

[hardcoalcase]

My wife of 16 years VOLUNTEERED to take on the lawn mowing chore so that I could have more train room time.

Eat your hearts out guys!

Jim

[TMarsh]

hardcoalcase

My wife of 16 years VOLUNTEERED to take on the lawn mowing chore so that I could have more train room time.

Eat your hearts out guys!

Jim

[gondola1988]

I also have a ex that hated my trains always said I made too much noise and woke the kids up. We said our goodbyes and I got the kids. Met another girl a few months later and dated for about 4 years she knew I liked trains but in the apartment there wasn't too much room. I had my own business for over 30 years as a carpet installer and after we married we rented a house with a basement and I got started all over again,she said both of her uncles had trains Lionel and Ho. When I came home and went directly to the trains she knew I had a bad day and when I came back up it was all forgotten. She always went to the train shows and she collected beanie babies and dolls so that was our hobbies. When a Dr misdiagnosed her vitamin B12  for some thing else she is now disabled so I am now retired and we bought a ranch home with a large 32 x 52 basement and so I moved the laundry room upstairs and I have the entire basement that is 3/4 full of trains with 2 workrooms and a full bath. I also don't drink or smoke and as she says she never has to worry where I am.  She doesn't say anything about the 100+ loco's or the 700+ rolling stock ,I sit at the kitchen table and build and paint and do other repairs while she does her hobbies and paints bird houses and feeders for the back yard so I think I made the right choice the 2nd time around, after 35 years we still shop and look for deals to keep us both busy. Still having fun working on the railroad, Jim.

[NittanyLion]

I don't remember what her initial reaction was.  But she didn't mind when, during our first date, I stopped to take some pictures of a CSX train in downtown Pittsburgh.  It wasn't out of our way and we were already out of the car to go on the Incline.

Skipping a lot in the middle, on sunday she authorized the purchase of two more Walthers Superliners for my Capitol Limited I'm putting together.  The first trip we took together was the Capitol Limited to DC.

[EDZ]

I'm what my fiancee calls "permanently engaged."    We've been a couple for nearly 6 years, but we live an hour apart.  She works long hours and travels a lot in her job, and I work from home which often consumes much of my time, too.  Marriage just seems to keep getting pushed back. 

She's not into crafts or trains, and that's fine.  She never complains about them and she likes how she has gift ideas for me. 

Some days I wish she was into them so we could do things together, but some days I'm glad to have my own thing... done as I want it done... with my own "alone time."  So, what we have works for us.

-Ed

[hcc25rl]

da, keep your current girlfriend until she says you can't spend your dough on trains. Then, say "Hasta La Vista"

Jimmy

[hon30critter]

Frank

I am blessed with a wonderful wife who encourages my participation in the hobby, and who admires the detailed work that I do. In the last year money has been tight thanks to the collapse of the business that I was in, but she is still making really good money. She has no problem with me spending a few of her hard earned dollars on trains, as long as it is within reason.

We are at the 35 year mark, which I hope is less than half of the way along our relationship path.

Dave 

[Anonymous]

We will be married 27 years this year and my wife never gave me a frown nor a bad word about my hobby. In fact, she is very supportive, although she does not share the interest. She has enough patience, though, to spend hours riding or chasing trains with me during our vacation.

I am a blessed man!

[HaroldA]

Frank, Great topic and I enjoyed reading the posts, I had (notice the past tense) been dating a woman for a number of years and when she finally come down to the basements after a very l o n g time, she was pretty critical of the layout. Then when she found out how much I was spending, her comment was 'are you out of your mind?' The breakup was swift and painless.

[Anonymous]

Colorado_Mac

My wife is perfect when it comes to my hobbies - she encourages my model railroad at home and the club, but has absolutely no desire to join in the modeling, which is just fine with me.  She doesn't begrudge me a penny and often "railfans" with me at cool museums or tourist lines. Gives us each some "me" time...

WOW; this sounds familiar!  My wife and I began dating while we were in high school, got married 5 years later and have been married for 26 years.  She enjoys exploring abandoned railroads and going to the museums with me.  Being a lone-wolf modeler, it is good to have her around!

Of course, she has her hobbies that I support just as much.

[Flynn]

My wife is very supportive of me having a hobby outside of those enjoyed by my other male friends (golfing, Vegas, etc), but does have one rule;  I have to share my trains with our boys. 

[jwhitten]

wjstix

In general my wife disapproves of everything I do.

 

Don't feel bad, mine too...

 

John

[jeffrey-wimberly]

da_kraut

Gentlemen,

when you met your significant other and showed them your hobby how did they react and how has that reaction evolved in your relationship?

Can't say. Never been married and I haven't had a girlfriend since the mid 80's. My last girlfriend did think the trains were pretty cool though. I was modeling in N Scale then.

[jeffrey-wimberly]

da_kraut

Gentlemen,

when you met your significant other and showed them your hobby how did they react and how has that reaction evolved in your relationship?

Can't say. Never been married and I haven't had a girlfriend since the mid 80's. My last girlfriend did think the trains were pretty cool though. I was modeling in N Scale then.

[St Francis Consolidated RR]

Medina1128

 

St Francis Consolidated RR:

 

       Men, women, and children who basically like me find my railroad moderately intriguing and they admire my skills; people who don't like me think my railroad is a waste of time and essentially stupid, not to mention boring, expensive, and childish.

 

 

I just ignore the latter.

    Good advice; I do just that....and in the case of the wife, it's a lot easier to ignore her now that she's my EX-wife!

 

 

[blownout cylinder]

Audrey has me well sorted when it comes to my trains and synth nerdiness.

Since she has her own things to get her going she feels that it is rude for other women to go around criticizing their husbands hobbies...

[citylimits]

 

 

 

[pastorbob]

We have been married 33 years, second marriage for both of us.  My wife totally supports the hobby, since she knows how much it de-stresses me.  I am an ordained pastor, but also had a full career in the computer field having gotten in on the ground floor. 

As an example, I spent 28 years with the Federal Reserve Bank in KC in the computer systems development and testing department.  I also spent a few years going out to the branch banks in Denver, Oklahoma City and Omaha, with a van load of micro computers to do training classes.  She would go with me.  Usually she would take something along to do, like making over 500 trees round trip to Denver and back.  It was a conversation piece when I arrived at Denver bank with a large box containing the trees she made on the trip to Denver.  When we got back to Kansas City, I unloaded the trees and did the Johnnie Appleseed thing on the layout with the trees.

She is a treasure.

Bob

[da_kraut]

Hello,

thank you everybody for your replies.   It has been very interesting reading what you all had to write.  It totally underlines how important it is to have mutual understanding and respect for one another.   Also, this can serve as a suggestion for both genders that it is important to respect the interests of your partner, for the way we feel about our hobby the other person in our lives might have interest in something else just as strong.

Great reading and thank you again.

Frank