The easiest way to get a bleached wood look is - with bleach!
Any water-based product will raise grain on wood. Hardwoods tend to react less, so making your project with a hardwood would not have as much raised grain. You can minimize this, if it is visually unwanted, by bleaching large pieces, lightly sanding them to remove raised grain and then cutting them into the smaller pieces you want for your project. The newly cut edges will not have been as evenly bleached, but how you use them can disguise this if it is even a problem.
After bleaching the wood and soaking it to negate the effect of the bleach, you can use any of the various other suggestions here to get the color effect you want.
Hi
It does not work with all woods and is a very old idea that does work, it is worth a try.
Get a clean empty jar stuff some steel wool at the bottom of the jar and then fill it up with unused malt vinigar.
Leave it for a week.
Then use it as a stain the wood will turn the weathered grey you want if it is the right wood for that to happen.
Some experementation with the amount of steel wool to vinigar and types of wood it works on will be required.
regards John