How much grief does your wife give you about your trains.

[Anonymous]

I buy about $1000.00 a year on average. My wife gives me hell all the time about this. Does anyone else have this problem?

[Anonymous]

Dude, you are going about this all wrong! It's not about the money....

What is it worth to her for you to have a hobby that keeps you at home?

What is it worth to have a hobby that everyone can participate in, and be both a joy and an investment for your children and your grandchildren?

C'mon guys.... help this poor man to talk to his wife right!

[Big_Boy_4005]

$1000 per year? That's nothing, that's less than $100 per month. Most of the large steam engines cost more than that (which does not reflect well on today's manufacturers).

Beyond that I'm not sure what to say, because I have never had that problem. Of course, I'm no longer married, but that didn't have anything to do with the trains. My ex knew about my train habit up front. She was the one that came and went from my life, not the trains.

[flyingyankee616]

[:D] I have a few engines,a few rolling stock, and my kids have a full stomach, and my wife loves me for that.

[Dave Farquhar]

I may very well have spent $500-$600 on trains last year. My fiancee doesn't give me much grief about it though. Usually she's fairly quick to defend it: She says men without hobbies drive their wives nuts, and she's glad I'm not spending it on alcohol. And, like Kent says, it's a hobby that keeps you at home. My fiancee always says she knows exactly where I am. If I'm not at home or at work, I'm at Marty's Model Railroads or the grocery store. Long shots are the hardware store, or one of three other hobby shops in the area.

A lot of women don't like trains because they're loud, and they take up a lot of space. We look at the space differently. I have two 4x8s. I know what you're thinking: Not even enough space to go O54 if you do an L-shaped layout. My fiancee thinks my layout is huge. And women like the brightly colored tinplate and unrealistic fanciful designs, and consider the realistic stuff most men prefer eyesores. I happen to prefer old tinplate, which probably helps my case.

Since I have a plan to have my car and her car, the house, and her student loans all paid off within five years (and may make it sooner), she doesn't complain about the amount of money I spend. I suspect if I were spending very much more, or if I added more than another 4x8, I might be pushing my luck. And if I weren't paying off my car and house at a breakneck pace, I definitely would be, because she'd see the money I'm spending on trains as money that I'm *not* spending on important things (to her) like new living room furniture. Since I tell her she can have new furniture and a nice china cabinet when all the debt's done, she lets me have my trains.

I can see her point of view, and maybe it wouldn't hurt if you spent a little less per year, but she's not seeing the benefit. Also, it's fairly easy to spend $1,000 a year on recreational activities and have absolutely nothing but memories to show for it. You've got something to show for what you've spent. Maybe you couldn't get all of your money back out of it if you wanted, but you could get some.

[TurboOne]

Good question and great answer so far.

Let me add a few.

I bought a new power supply that was on sale so inexpensive, that too not buy and learn from it would be silly. So I show how originally it was priced with a locomotive. Then the sale price. Then what it would have cost without a locomotive. I am down to $43 dollars with that logic, and for that price I had to buy it. That worked well by the way.

Better that I am home, and learning how to fix things. Now I have done many honey do's thanks to what I learned from the hobby. This makes her smile, not happy with train purchases, but she smiles. [:)]

Lastly, I spend a dollar, she spends a dollar. No more complaining, she asks when are we buying more. [:D]

Tim

[Anonymous]

$1000.00 for a whole year. That is not too much at all. When the Atlas GP60M's come in next month I will be out a bit more then that on just the one purchase. As for wives, well my ex wife never cared for the trains all that much but did not give me any grief over what I spent. ( which back then was not much ) My ex girlfriend however was different. If I spent $200.00 for a locomotive, I had to spend $200.00 on something for her. She seemed to kept track too. And if I ordered something well she was home during the day to get the UPS deliveries so I was out of luck there. One time when the brown truck came and went she asked me "How many of those things are you going to buy, don't you have enough?" I smartly responded "Well dear the Union Pacific has about 8000 locomotives so I guess I have a ways to go". That made for an interesting week. I've heard it said that some wives say As long as all the bills are paid and there is food on the table I don't care how much you spend, or well I have my hobbies so you can spend on trains if I can spend on ( fill in the blank) And of course there is as long as your interested in trains I know where you are and you not spending the money on other girls or at the bar.

Enjoy
Frank

[MP57313]

Not that much; she actually sprung for some of the stuff. It's not so much how much is spent, but more how all the "inventory" is organized. If it's arranged neatly that's fine. If it's piled up helter-skelter, look out...

[Dr.Fu-Manchu]

The Doctor is in!!! Mrs. Fu does not have a problem with my trains. She gave my an Ives set that belonged to her late uncle. She has bought some items for me. Now, As to using part of the basement to tourture my underlings ! I never hear the end of it. (just kidding about the last) I am planning to move the pike to the garage after I sell my major magic props off. It's easy to heat and cool and better head room(dirt floor and low
beams in basement,plus she wants to expand storage down there.) As she says, she knows that I repair and sell used trains, so it does pay for it's self and keeps me out of trouble. Of course, with congestive heart failure, how much trouble can one evil doctor get into ??? Besides, She gets to help put the haunted house & swamp on the pike ! more on that later. Till My Next Missive, I Remain The Humble Yet Strangly Evil Doctor !!! [}:)]

[mersenne6]

No hassles here. Before we were married I made sure she understood this was my one big hobby. I showed her what I did with it and what it meant to me and I made sure it was ok with her before we tied the knot. I was upfront with her about the hobby cost. We agreed on a budget and I've kept my end of the bargain. From time to time we re-negotiate the budget and if something unexpected comes along which I'd like to have we'll discuss it. Sometimes I get the item, sometimes I don't and, of course, if something serious and unexpected comes up - whatever it is gets first priority of all of the household funds including the hobby money. In general, this approach has worked well for our 20 odd years of marriage.

[Anonymous]

being a widower i can do as i wish.......
when i got married my wife bought me a few trains for our first xmas.... tho all i could do was setup a loop around the tree.... but it was grand. " too me" those few pieces are the most valueable trains i have

[laz 57]

My wife has her interest, gardening,flowers, water gardens, hiking ,running,biking and just plain fun. I have my interesrs trains hunting, fishing, shooting, hiking, running etc. It's a fifty fifty proposition and she helps me with the layout sometimes. The only thing she doesn't like is the SMOKE.
laz57

[cnw1995]

I am pretty careful - moving a bit from the zero-sum approach to the hobby I've had for many year - have to sell something to be able to buy something. It worked when I had lots of junk to sell (collectible games, N scale items). But I am judicious about it because we're in a season of life with high expenses (mostly for the kids) and flat income. In other words, I struggle with the whole 'want vs. need' thing... Buying mountain paper for $6.75 or tunnel portals for $10 is OK vs. $500 for a new engine.

But I didn't address the question. My wife is somewhat bemused about my taking the entire basement crawlspace for a layout. She also would rather spend any loose change we have on things of interest to her that have to do with the house - redoing a perfectly good bathroom, etc. She'd rather I hang out with her watching some unbelieveabily worthless TV show than be in the basement too. So knowing this, I have to honor it a bit - I figure it might get a bit better as the kids get older - and it makes me super-creative about how I go about enhancing the layout. Given this, I am pretty appreciative of having even one working train let alone something more than an oval to run it.

[Big_Boy_4005]

Doug, I'm totally with you on that want vs need thing. I'm not used to being in that position, and I don't like it. In marriage, I could pretty much do as I pleased. In divorce, my hands are tied.

My spending has been way down since the divorce. I hate my ex for putting me and the children through all that we've had to endure, as a result of her decision to leave.

[FJ and G]

I don't have that problem because all my wives are ex's. However, BB the beagle does not approve of my trains. She told me that the money could have been better spent on soup bones for her.

[palallin]

My fiance is supportive of my train habit; she actually is looking at getting some of her own, and she wants us to do a permanent layout. She has encouraged me to bring her son into the hobby--he's four and now has an MPC DC gas turbine, a CN hopper, a long gondola, and a postwar cheapie caboose. She let me spend the $50 she wanted to use to get me a Valentine's Day present as part of the purchase price of an LTI Frisco Mikado. She looks great (and the engine ain't bad, either ;-) ).

My ex-wife was also supportive. Heck, when she left, she took her trains with her and has them displayed in her apartment.


Money spent fluctuates with needs/interests. I spent maybe $750 last year, possibly my largest year. To date this year, I've spent $350 (the Mike). So long as the bills are paid, the kids are fed, and the whole family is involved, I suspect that I can spend about whatever we can afford on trains and not get into trouble.

[Anonymous]

WEll lets see, i just spent last night telling my wife why i want a divorce. ANyone out there want to try that one on for size? SO i'm running on very little sleep, and way to much caffeene. However i will say it was not the trains that made a difference, it was the brain tumor she had 3 years ago that radically changed her personality, and not for the better in my opinion.
WEll let me grab some rest. FOr now, this is life Bill

[Anonymous]

For my wife its more time than the money, before the trains it was computer games and I would spend hours playing those and she complained about that too. I always have to negotiate to get time to work on the layout. I started only a few months ago and really enjoy building the layout but I often feel guilty (or she makes me feel quilty) for spending more time with it than the family.

[cnw1995]

I'm sorry to hear that, Bill

[FJ and G]

Bill,

Also sorry to hear that.

-------------

Palallin writes:

"My ex-wife was also supportive. Heck, when she left, she took her trains with her and has them displayed in her apartment."

I'd like to meet her! :-)

[IronHoarse]

No grief from my wife, but I do not give her grief about her hobbies either. We were both over 40 when we got married and decided to keep out finances separate as far as anything beyond house hold expenses goes. This agreement prevents any financial arguments. As long as we both keep up our share of the household expenses there is and has been no problem. If the trains are in my hobby room and not in the living room she is happy.

[FJ and G]

For my next marriage I'm going to have a contract marriage done, esp. if I mail-order a Russian bride. I know the contract takes the romance out but love sometimes has a way of dying when you least expect it.

[dougdagrump]

My wife has been extremely supportive of my train hobby. She is the one who originally suggested that I join the S.D. 3Railers and followed that up with a prewar Lionel set. But we have been very supportive of each other for almost 40 years now in achieving our goals. [:D]

[jonadel]

There's not a toy or hobby in the world that is worth arguing over if it negatively affects a relationship, life is too short.

Jon

[Roger Bielen]

She's encouraging but always raises the questions, what'll we do if we decide to move? What'll I do if anything happens to you? I answer the first - DYN-O-MITE ! and the new house will have to have a basement. The 2nd, not my problem.

[Anonymous]

In our household its a matter of balance. From a time perspective training is OK as long as it does not take away to much time from the family. I get bonus time though when the kids help out or run the trains with me, which means I get to do something I enjoy and share it with them.

Its really a matter of priorities.

[1688torpedo]

I've no wife to give me grief over my Trains[:D] However, If I ever get married hopefully it will be to someone who enjoys trains as much as I do.........Keith

[Anonymous]

My wife is very supportive of my train hobby. That's because she's a serious doll collector and understands the "Collector Mentality". She loves to attend train shows with me because she never knows what type of good "find" she'll discover for herself at the shows.

We both spend a bundle of money each year on our respective hobbies.That's a good thing, because we enjoy our hobbies. When we leave this planet behind we won't be taking any of it with us.
BillFromWayne
www.modeltrainjournal.com

[pbjwilson]

My wife loves my trains. It's my girlfriend she's not to happy about!

But seriously folks, my wife actually brought up to me the other day out of the blue, totally unsolicited, " You can put a train around the dining room ceiling if you want."

Stunned and in utter shock all I could reply was " Oh, O.K."

Where she got this Idea and why I have no idea, but hey I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world, well train world anyway.

Gotta break out the jigsaw before she changes her mind!

[Anonymous]

What's a wife? My former fiance started taking about where her studio was going after my trains were gone. She went!