New joke thread

[Anonymous]

Got this from Readers Digest, thought it was good.

A guy is arrested for hitting a man in a rice field with a small ceramic object. It is the first reported knick knack paddy whack.[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

[Mookie]

RD provides me with a lot of entertainment.

Mook

[Anonymous]

Do you have any good RD jokes?[?]

[Mikeygaw]

<runs over to grandmothers to steal old copies of RD>

[Kozzie]

[:D] Not a RD joke but quite good..I reckon...

(Apologies to those in the Forum I have already emailed this one to[:(])

On the first day God created the cow.

God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and
suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I
will
give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for
sixty years. Let me have twenty-five and I'll give back the other
thirty-five." And God agreed.

On the second day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the
door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will
give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and
I'll give you back the other ten."

So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people,
do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't
think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

And God agreed again.

On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have
sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy life, enjoy. I'll give you twenty-five
years."


Man said, "What? Only twenty-five years! No way, man. Tell you what,
I'll take my twenty-five, and the thirty-five the cow gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back, that makes eighty,
okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty-five years we eat, sleep, play, have
sex, enjoy life, and do nothing;

The next thirty-five years we slave in the sun to support our family;

The next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren;

and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.


[(-D][(-D]

Dave

[Anonymous]

Does this have anything remotely to do with Railroads?

LC

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Kozzie

[:D] Not a RD joke but quite good..I reckon...

(Apologies to those in the Forum I have already emailed this one to[:(])

On the first day God created the cow.

God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and
suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I
will
give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for
sixty years. Let me have twenty-five and I'll give back the other
thirty-five." And God agreed.

On the second day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the
door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will
give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and
I'll give you back the other ten."

So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people,
do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't
think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"

And God agreed again.

On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, have
sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy life, enjoy. I'll give you twenty-five
years."


Man said, "What? Only twenty-five years! No way, man. Tell you what,
I'll take my twenty-five, and the thirty-five the cow gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back, that makes eighty,
okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty-five years we eat, sleep, play, have
sex, enjoy life, and do nothing;

The next thirty-five years we slave in the sun to support our family;

The next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren;

and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.


[(-D][(-D]

Dave

[:D][8D]

Good one Dave. [:)]

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Limitedclear

Does this have anything remotely to do with Railroads?

LC

Here's one for you LC.....

How can you tell when a train has just gone by?
--You can still see it's tracks.

[^]

[Kozzie]

QUOTE: Originally posted by macguy

QUOTE: Originally posted by Limitedclear

Does this have anything remotely to do with Railroads?

LC

Here's one for you LC.....

How can you tell when a train has just gone by?
--You can still see it's tracks.

[^]

Very good Macguy ! [;)][:)]