railroading versus family life

[ozarkrailfan]

Just curious as to how some of you handle being away from home and family. Particularly how do you deal being away from your children? How does your spouse feel about it?

[Anonymous]

The best answer is it is very difficult. I try to rotate jobs so I am not on the road all of the time. I have enough seniority to hold a couple different road pools and a few halfway decent locals now that traffic has grown. Of course, when I know I'm going to need money (like pre-Christmas) I'll drop on to the extra board for a while.

Holding a local for a couple of months gives me a more regular schedule even if it is a night job. That way I can fetch the kids from school and spend some time reading with them or doing homework.

As for my wife, she hates the railroad life and would love it if I went back to the 9 to 5 world. How quickly she forgets that the job I had before the RR was more like 9am to midnight...and for less money and poorer benefits. In the long term, who knows, perhaps I will find a short line someplace...

LC

[CShaveRR]

I was lucky enough to find a railroad job that kept me close to home...the occasional foray on the road just made coming home that much better.

It hasn't always been easy, though...Just because I'm home every day doesn't mean I have a 9 to 5, or even a 7 to 3, job with weekends off. My "weekends" are Tuesday and Wednesday, and I work evenings. So our social life, outside of immediate family, is nearly nonexistent. We've coped, though...my wife's work schedule dovetails with mine, so we always had somebody home for the kids, and we can still get by with one car most of the time.

[ValleyX]

Wouldn't recommend it to anyone who values their family life, social life, emotional life. Lots of folks don't make it and lots do, I don't think that railroading is entirely the divorce-prevalent life that some make it out to be, no more than the general population. However, one must keep in mind that lots of railroaders don't have the jobs in their area, or perhaps the seniority to hold them, to jump from the road to yard engines to the locals, every location is different.

Somehow, we made it, but if you want to have a normal social life and be a railroader on the road, forget it. Something is going to suffer, either your income or your social life, and your family life. You make the best of it and go on. I tried to make every school function and with three children, only missed two that I didn't want to miss, and thought that was pretty good. But I (we) sure sacrificed in other areas.

If you want a normal family life above everything else, you don't want to be a railroader on the road, or even in the yard, because a normal five day workweek in the yard isn't Monday through Friday, 9 to 5. If you value those Saturday evening backyard barbecues, you don't want to be a railroader on the road because you'll probably get called before it starts, in the middle of it, or else you just got in and are too daggone tired to go and enjoy it.

[daveklepper]

You might consider working for a short line or terminal railroad operation where you don't get too far from home. The hours may not be any better, but at least you will sleep in your own bed and have some time with your kids and wife.

[Anonymous]

It is definatley tough. I have a newborn son, about two months old now who I don't get to see as often as I would like. When he was born I took a weeks vacation, and when I went back to work I did not get another day off for 23 days. It is tough, but you have to weigh the pros and cons. You might not be able to spend as much time with your family, but atleast they are taken care of with better money, health insurance and retirement.

[Anonymous]

I'd agree with everyone here. I'll add a little something...[2c] Yes, if you are a social hound, or your family hates when you're not home better not work for the RR. But, if you need good money, benefits, etc, then the RR is for you. Most of us have to make compromises to get a little bit of both. Right now I'm the youngest man in my terminal, so I get bumped like a pinball all the time. I'm also working a lot, being home maybe 10 hours before going right back out. It makes it hard to keep up with housework, yardwork, etc, especially when my wife works and is in veternary school. But, we make the best with the little time we have together and things are working out fine. It is different for every person and each individual has thier own set of issues to deal with at home. So, my advice for anyone thinking about a lifestyle change like the RR, please consider the family implications, but also keep in mind the benefits of working on the RR. Like some of these other guys have said, I would eventually like to work for a shortline and have more time at home.

[tree68]

Based on these comments, and those that have appeared hereabouts in the past, I'd say the subject of this topic is very apt: railroading VERSUS family life....

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by tree68

Based on these comments, and those that have appeared hereabouts in the past, I'd say the subject of this topic is very apt: railroading VERSUS family life....

[#ditto]

That sounds about right.

[Anonymous]

I've got a wife and 3 kids, hired out 3 yrs ago. You ask how do I deal with being away from my children? In my first year, when I was cut off for 6 months from my home terminal, I packed my bags and hit the boomer trail along with another unfortunate buddy. It helped financially and socially to have a friend to share the misery, and we both came home a.s.a.p. That was the worst time in my life to date...I hated being so far away from my wife and kids. Since then, the economy picked up, giving me another problem. Being able to work my home terminal, but working non-stop. How do I cope now? I make sure that when I'm home, my schedule is CLEAR for family. I don't schedule much "self" time anymore, but I find that I miss my wife and kids so much that when I'm home I really prefer to spend time with them instead of all kinds of other diversions. And I don't hesitate to lay off when they need me. To sum it up, the rr business is not "family friendly," but you can make it work if you decide to and are aggressive about taking charge of your life and schedule.

[Mookie]

Being a railroad brat - I can only say that Dad worked a lot - was gone during a lot of important times, but his time home was quality time. So I would say strive for quality if you can't have quantity.

Mook

[mudchicken]

"railroad widow syndrome" strikes once again!

[Anonymous]

MC-

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't there similar, if not worse problems in MOW? Especially on travelling gangs I would think.

LC

[Saxman]

Railroading is not a job it is a way of life. It is a life style that is at odds with anything remotely considered "normal". ALL of the above threads ring true. Yesterday being Father's Day, I observed many families as I went through grade crossings enjoying the day together. I also observed several back yard cookouts. Where was I? Moving freight. Would I change? No! How do I cope? It was mentioned earlier, when home my schedule is clear for my family. I gave up some sleep to see my wife perform in the musical BIG RIVER. (She was the Widow Douglas) I made time off available by use of day off or personal day to attend my son's band concert and my daughter's choir concert and dance recital. It isn't always easy to balance the railroad with family but it can be done.

[Anonymous]

All the posts sound a lot like a lot of professions. Cop, soldier, and practically anyone in transportation, all face the same misery. The guys who sound the most successful in doing the job vs family deal have managed to "work to live" rather than "live to work". They appear to realize that their families need as much dedication as their jobs, and they also appear to love them both.

I blew a marriage and family over time in the Army. My wife hated it, my kids hated it, and it was a long time before I realized I hated it too. My second wife hates my being a cop (she is a school teacher) but she realizes that it's what I do for a living. We do our best to make our time together special. I'm pretty sure that's where the happy railroaders are in these posts... supportive wives (or husbands) at home... and job satisfaction... even if it's only on pay day.

Erik

[mudchicken]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Limitedclear

MC-

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't there similar, if not worse problems in MOW? Especially on travelling gangs I would think.

LC

LC - Different, but not necessarilly worse. An awful lot depends on budget and where you are at, along with seniority districts that no longer dovetail. (one of my old territories had three seniority districts in it and people had to to come up to 500 miles (1 way) to work on it - not a good thing. Saw plenty of 48 and 72 hour days myself. Saw my Division Engineer catch hell more than once for countermanding a Terminal Supt. and sending troops off to get rest after 36 hours straight. Travelling gangs are better off than they used to be. Especially if they work a condensed work week. Each railroad still tends to handle things differently.

[Anonymous]

I am 24 years old and just recently hired on with a class 1 railroad. My whole life all I have wanted to do was work for the railroad. A couple of friends who are engineers for the UP warned me the whole time I was trying to get hired; I could have a life or I could work on the railroad but I could not have both. I enjoy the work that I do but I do have blow off many social activities that I once was apart of. The nice thing about the terminal I work out of is we have a rest cycle so every seven days I get three off. Many nights I am gone and many of my trips last near 12 hours. My biggest fear is if I ever do have a family how I will make time for them. I have much respect to the railroaders who make there family life work.

[Anonymous]

Like everyone above has said, you have to learn to balance family and work. My wife understands why I have to work the hours I work and has learned to accept it. It also helps that out of a $9,000 dollar hospital bill for our son to be born, we paid nothing.
It is tough to spend time away from your family, but I think it would be tougher to have a family member get sick, and wonder how you can afford to make them better. Working long hours and being away from home also allows my wife to stay home and care for our son without worrying about how the bills will be paid.

[ClinchValleySD40]

Railroading killed my first marriage and caused me to miss too much of my son growing up. Definitely not a job for anyone that values family life.