el-capitan wrote: Drinking glasses brought into the basement will dissappear when about half full. They will only reappear when the secret phrase is uddered by the correct person. The secret phrase happens to be "Tom, why do you have so many glasses down here?" spoken by my wife. Suddenly all 14 of them reappear with liquid still in them. Weird!
Drinking glasses brought into the basement will dissappear when about half full. They will only reappear when the secret phrase is uddered by the correct person. The secret phrase happens to be "Tom, why do you have so many glasses down here?" spoken by my wife. Suddenly all 14 of them reappear with liquid still in them. Weird!
....and they usually appear just as you turn to answer her and thereby get knocked over onto the layout in the process.
No matter how many times you have told your wife the release date and cost of a locomotive she will always think that it is another 6 months out and half the actual cost. Begin argument here.
The locomotive that you think needs the widest radius track doesn't. Yet your entire layout has now been done to accomodate the wrong one. (Why would a Cab Forward need a wider radius than a Texas anyway, isn't that why they articulated them?)
Any object thrown by a child in a basement, regardless of initial velocity or tragectory, will immediately change speed and direction to ensure that it contacts something that was scratchbuilt by somebody who is dead and the refrigerator car CANNOT BE REPLACED ANYMORE, KIRSTEN! (On a side note, what is the longest time you have banished a child from a train room?)
A wife will adore you if you go out and suprise her with new front loading washer and dryer. Unless the only reason you did it is because they fit nicely below your soon to be constructed layout expansion. (see my track plan in my signature, washer and dryer to be delivered saturday, town of Whitewater, NM to begin construction Saturday evening.
Check out the Deming Sub by clicking on the pics:
Here's a few more:
1. The "limited run" item you want is "sold out" before the ad for it appears.
2. The manufacturer produces an item that was never, ever, painted that way in real life.
3. Coffee goes "airborne," cup and all at the most inopportune time; you have no idea why it did that; "it just flew out of my hand."
4. You piece together a set of data from several different decal sets, and othe most vital decal "shatters," dissolves, or rolls up upon itself, when you try to apply it.
5. Glue is atrracted to all clear glazing materials - usually on the most visible part of the structure you are building. NOTE: This applies to scratch built, kit built, or kitbashed.
6. Ballast is attracted to switchpoints, no matter how much masking tape you put over the switch when ballasting around it.
7. There is NEVER a picture showing the one prototype detail you need when researching a project.
8. The adhesive you are using always runs out at midnight, and you don't have any extra.
work safe
My rule #1.
15 minute projects become 15 hour projects due to all the stuff posted previously on this thread.
GARRY
HEARTLAND DIVISION, CB&Q RR
EVERYWHERE LOST; WE HUSTLE OUR CABOOSE FOR YOU
SteamFreak wrote: Midnight Railroader wrote: And don't get me started on the phenomenon of "Reverse Hallucination," wherein you know a tool is in a certain spot, but you can't see it. It will, of course, immediately become visible (a) when you've moved on to another task with a different tool, or (b) you spouse walks in and says, "You mean, THIS hammer?"Oh, the tools know what they're doing. They conspire; they hide. Not until you're walking around the room mumbling like a mental patient for 15 minutes will they reappear, right in front of where you were. I've heard giggles coming from my toolbox.
Midnight Railroader wrote: And don't get me started on the phenomenon of "Reverse Hallucination," wherein you know a tool is in a certain spot, but you can't see it. It will, of course, immediately become visible (a) when you've moved on to another task with a different tool, or (b) you spouse walks in and says, "You mean, THIS hammer?"
And don't get me started on the phenomenon of "Reverse Hallucination," wherein you know a tool is in a certain spot, but you can't see it. It will, of course, immediately become visible (a) when you've moved on to another task with a different tool, or (b) you spouse walks in and says, "You mean, THIS hammer?"
Oh, the tools know what they're doing. They conspire; they hide. Not until you're walking around the room mumbling like a mental patient for 15 minutes will they reappear, right in front of where you were. I've heard giggles coming from my toolbox.
You heard that too!
I thought I was losing it!
-The day you finally spring for a telescoping magnetic wand will be the last day you drop anything magnetic.
-Just as you're finishing painting and remotoring your Mantua 0-6-0, it will leap from your desk and break a pilot step on the floor.
-The dent in the floor will remind you of the above incident everytime you manage to forget.
And finally, when posting to this thread, you'll somehow manage to hit the button, posting nothing but someone else's quote.
Nelson
Ex-Southern 385 Being Hoisted
Also, the paint colour needed to complete a kit is either a), out of production or b), something you don't have.
Your 'local' hobby shop is never actually local, causing you to drive 2 hours to find it.
In addition, if you buy X-Acto knife blades, it will never fit the handle you already have. This causes you to go back to your hobby shop.
jacon12 wrote: I've had 95% of these 'laws' happen to me and it is comforting to know I'm with the majority, for a change..
I've had 95% of these 'laws' happen to me and it is comforting to know I'm with the majority, for a change..
I know what you mean. I'm glad I'm not alone!
Galaxy's Order of the State of Things
One must always remember these rules:
1) If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the manufacturer.
2) If the manufacturer is also blameless, blame it on the designer, architect, or inventor, whom ever is least available is the one most to blame.
3) The instructions will always be written in another language, even if it appears to be English.
4) If you can't figure it out, remember 'they have a tool to do that'. (And you don't have one).
5) They say "form follows function". Well, form may follow function, but does the function of the form really work?
6) Does the form always have to look like Marilyn Monroe?
7) Is the "better mousetrap" they made that caused you to beat a path to their door really the right machine for the job?
8) And, what, pray tell, does one do with a "widget"? Did Gidget have a widget with which to fidget?
9) Remember that when you call the Help Hot Line that everyone will automatically be on lunch or on break, regardless of what time zone or country they are in.
10) When in doubt, paint it one of three colors: black, black, or black.
11) If your first three color choices just aren't right, then it must be battleship gray.
12) And don't forget to weather that with ‘grimey black'.
13) Never admit failure. Simply say "I don't have the right tool".
14) Number 13 provides an instant excuse to go to the nearest tool department of your favorite store.
15) Always remember to read the instructions first. Regardless of what language they are in.
16) A box of a knock-down furniture piece will weigh in direct opposite proportion to the number of people there are to carry it inside.
17) The heaviest knock-down furniture can be removed piece by piece from the carton to lighten the load. However, everyone will first try to carry it in whole. By themselves.
18)The missing screw will always be smaller than the hardware store will carry, and too big for the LHS to carry.
19 No matter how hard they try, or how many hints you provide, your loved one will always manage to gift you the wrong loco or rolling stock.
20)AND they will say 'aren't they all the same?'
21) The LHS and catalogs will have the model you want in every road name but the one you model.
22) There will also be no decals available for your road name.
23) Every tool will eventually find its way to your foot. Your bare foot. Starting with the heaviest. On a Sunday. When your young child/grandchild is present. Or your mother-in-law.
24) Viewers of #23 will marvel at all the shades of pretty colors you turn when the heavy tool has found your foot. Excuse yourself to the bathroom. Turn on the fan. Say those words you have been holding in.
-I hope all these will be helpful.
-G .
Just my thoughts, ideas, opinions and experiences. Others may vary.
HO and N Scale.
After long and careful thought, they have convinced me. I have come to the conclusion that they are right. The aliens did it.
The unimportant scraps you threw out will be the main parts you need.
If you can't remember, the soldering iron is on.
I hear ya on that one. Clear out room in basement for layout, begin wiring, lose job, move...Build garage with 2nd floor loft for train room, lose job, move...move water heater,, develope plan, start bench work, lose ability to do the stairs to get to the basement...give up on having dedicated layout space, switch to N scale to build portable layout, wait for the impending doom.
No matter how much space you have for a layout, or what scale you try, the space is at least 6" too small for what you want to do.
Reality...an interesting concept with no successful applications, that should always be accompanied by a "Do not try this at home" warning.
Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...But the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.
"Oooh...ahhhh...that's how this all starts...but then there's running...and screaming..."
You spend years working on a layout in your dream basement from which you just absolutely knew you would never move from. And one month after bringing the layout to a state of presentable finish, you get fired from your job and you have to move. After completeing said move, you get the workshop set up and the benchwork made for the new layout and you discover you have to move again. And again, the benchwork wasn't made to be movable.
James.
Robert Murphy invented Model Railroading, and ALL it's laws.
-Ed
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. -AnonymousThree may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. -Benjamin Franklin "You don't have to be Jeeves to love butlers, but it helps." (Followers of Levi's Real Jewish Rye will get this one) -Ed K "A potted watch never boils." -Ed Kowal If it's not fun, why do it ? -Ben & Jerry
No matter which type of Kadee coupler you need, that will be the one you're out of and the local hobby shop doesn't have them in stock.
No matter how many time and how carefully you measure, you'll cut the piece the wrong length.
Mark R. wrote:Want the manufacturers to produce a specific engine or freight car ??? .... spend countless hours and dollars and scratch build one. Just as the finishing touches are drying up, someone will announce an exact match to what you want coming out next month .... twice the quality and half the price as the one you've just spent the last six months on !!!!Mark.
Want the manufacturers to produce a specific engine or freight car ??? .... spend countless hours and dollars and scratch build one. Just as the finishing touches are drying up, someone will announce an exact match to what you want coming out next month .... twice the quality and half the price as the one you've just spent the last six months on !!!!
Mark.
Can you say Erie Lackawanna SD-45-2.Low profile fans and all!
Thank you for this thread. I've had 95% of these 'laws' happen to me and it is comforting to know I'm with the majority, for a change..
JaRRell
The Collins Corollaries to Murphy's Law:
a) The probablility of a derailment occuring varies directly as the number of observers. The severity of the damage from said derailment varies directly as the cost of the item(s) damaged.
b) Parts dropped on the floor fall through a time warp, to appear one week later in the exact spot where you saw them fall.
c) Whoever said "Murphy was an optomist," was an optomist.
---
Gary M. Collins gmcrailgNOSPAM@gmail.com
===================================
"Common Sense, Ain't!" -- G. M. Collins
http://fhn.site90.net
That elusive prototype loco that you just absolutely must have to make your layout right only exists in another scale.
Then the rule below takes effect.
Mark R. wrote: Want the manufacturers to produce a specific engine or freight car ??? .... spend countless hours and dollars and scratch build one. Just as the finishing touches are drying up, someone will announce an exact match to what you want coming out next month .... twice the quality and half the price as the one you've just spent the last six months on !!!!Mark.
-There's never enough time to do it right, but always enough time to do it over.
-Super glues bond skin better than any other substance.
-Soldering while wearing shorts is asking for trouble.
-No matter how carefully laid, the least-accessible portion of your track will always be the site of the most derailments.
When you think you have enought track or road bed you alway fall short. So you reach for one of your scrap peices only to find your longest one is 1/4" to short!
Baker
3railguy wrote:Maintenance free motors need maintenance.
Is that like a maintenance free battery?
They don't need any maintenance, but they sure to die on you when you need it most!
Ryan BoudreauxThe Piedmont Division Modeling The Southern Railway, Norfolk & Western & Norfolk Southern in HO during the merger eraCajun Chef Ryan
andrechapelon wrote: After hours and hours of "troubleshooting" why your DCC system keeps going off line, you will suddenly discover that you left a Kadee coupler gauge ( http://www.kadee.com/htmbord/page120.htm ) on the mainline, thus causing a dead short.Andre
After hours and hours of "troubleshooting" why your DCC system keeps going off line, you will suddenly discover that you left a Kadee coupler gauge ( http://www.kadee.com/htmbord/page120.htm ) on the mainline, thus causing a dead short.
Andre
...or a track gauge, needle file, filament of fine solder...I mean, some guys would do that....you know?
5.) At some point during your painting session, you will discover that you've been rinsing the paintbrush in your coffee, rather than the water.
5a. This will happen at the same time you realize that the quality of your coffee has improved and that the money you wasted at Starbucks could have been saved to buy you that beautiful brass engine from Division Point.
http://www.divisionpoint.com/tosell/DSCF1268.jpg