selectorAt the same time, those left to 'clean up' are doing it out of filial duty, friendship, or spousal loyalty. They almost certainly would appreciate some kind of instruction to honour us in some way. This is best done with some kind of instruction or template for guidance. In the absence of any instruction, it is a greater burden to figure out how to dispose of our earthly presence in a way that befits the personality one is serving one last time. My point is, it's a balancing act. It's a courtesy and an expression of trust and love to, first, acquire people to do the cleanup, and to then instruct them. At the same time, you shouldn't burden them unnecessarily, even if just by failing to provide them with that all-important instruction and will. As you say, they matter long after I don't.
My point is, it's a balancing act. It's a courtesy and an expression of trust and love to, first, acquire people to do the cleanup, and to then instruct them. At the same time, you shouldn't burden them unnecessarily, even if just by failing to provide them with that all-important instruction and will. As you say, they matter long after I don't.
Having buried both parents and mother-in-law in the last 10 years, it truly is a balancing act. Too specific and the surviviors have to spend too much time and emotional capital on honoring your wishes. Not specific enough, and they have to guess what you would have wanted, and get frustrated.
Having learned that lesson myself, my current will says that this is the guidance and recommendation to the executor (my wife or son), but that they can modify however they want at their discretion. I also encourage them to hire help, and not try to do it all themselves.
The trains I have not prepared well enough. If I don't have Ebay preparations done for the few items of value (less than $1K total) before I pass, I will simply say to ask if the club or hobby shop will take care of it all for a return of a couple hundred, or just dumpster everything.
In the scenario that started this post, I would keep on going with my trains until I couldn't, even if it's just a shelf or loop in my nursing home room. When my parents moved into an apartment with assistance available, my father got rid of all his hobbies - his hunting gear, his boat, his trains (I got to eBay whatever I or my siblings didn't want - a lot of work), his photos (mostly 35mm slides), and so on. Basically, he gave up on living early. And his brain followed a couple of years later in dementia.
Fred W
I've buit my ayout in a gutted out mobile home. If someone wants it, hookup to it and go. Otherwise give rolling stock to club and they can keep the $.
Lastspikemike ... These losses hurt, a lot. Let your survivors decide what's emotionally important to them after you pass.
...
These losses hurt, a lot. Let your survivors decide what's emotionally important to them after you pass.
Death is for the quick, not the departed. I agree with you that one ought to at least take into account the sensitivities and the sensibilities of those who will have to cope one way or another after we leave. To me, some kind of legacy is important, even if it is just to be that people liked us and bear us no ill.
At the same time, those left to 'clean up' are doing it out of filial duty, friendship, or spousal loyalty. They almost certainly would appreciate some kind of instruction to honour us in some way. This is best done with some kind of instruction or template for guidance. In the absence of any instruction, it is a greater burden to figure out how to dispose of our earthly presence in a way that befits the personality one is serving one last time.
DAVID FORTNEYthe girls have been very successful so no need for me to worry about their future. I hope to spend the money I have and whatever is left goes to charity. I plan on living the rest of my life to the fullest.
My girls will not need anything from my estate either.
My wife and I have been very clear communicating to them about the will, and exactly what should happen to everything when we are gone. I do not anticipate any drama when we leave the world.
-Kevin
Living the dream.
After my wife died I sold the house so the kids would not fight over it when I was gone. Moved into a nice apartment complex. The money I made on the house I will spend on what I need and don't need. The layout I am building keeps me busy and having fun.
the girls have been very successful so no need for me to worry about their future. I hope to spend the money I have and whatever is left goes to charity. I plan on living the rest of my life to the fullest.
Dave
I don't think I'm advocating getting rid of stuff I want or use.
I think there should be a direction for my survivors on what to do with the "stuff" that may have some value.
After dealing with all four parents dying within a two year period, I learned a lot.
I'm making an effort to make everything as simple as possible for my kids when I or my wife dies.
I'll echo others on the legal part. My father's lawyer was well worth the money my father paid.
York1 John
I agree with Lastspikemike, make sure your will is up to date, including disposal of specific items if you feel the need. Keep doing what you enjoy! In the past ten years I've had a hand in the estates of my mother in-law, an uncle with no children, a brother-in-law with no spouse or children and my mother. all with varying degrees of preparedness.
Don't have a safe deposit box when you die!!!!!! Took ten months and thousands $ to get into an empty one.
I'm fairly dispassionate when it comes to disposing of things so it's not a horrible task for me. I have noticed with my wife, siblings and children that everybody grieves differently, some like me are "that can go,bye" others like to do as my grandmother did when making the best macaroni " handle every noodle" . I guess what I'm saying is don't under estimate the therapeutic value and sense of connection of sorting through a deceased relatives stuff. If often gives insights that weren't there in life.
SeeYou190Once I am gone, the kids can bulldoze the house with the trains in it and sell the empty lot for all I care. -Kevin
Kevin, I thought that for years but, decided to make arrangements for a train show dealer to buy them. The kids can split the money 50/50.
On the bright side my oldest Grandson is a modeler and the only three engines he wants is my two DCC equipped Atlas NS HH GP38s and he wants my SummerSetRy SW1500 as a memorial.
Sadly he has no use for DC locomotives.
Larry
Conductor.
Summerset Ry.
"Stay Alert, Don't get hurt Safety First!"
DAVID FORTNEYNo need to make plans now on what to do with my trains.. My plans for the rest of my time is to have fun.
Great attitude. I bought my trains to enjoy them, and that is what I intend to do.
Once I am gone, the kids can bulldoze the house with the trains in it and sell the empty lot for all I care.
I'm 73 now and live alone. I have decided that I'm going to run trains till my last breath. I have left instructions on what they can do.
I have told them that they can sell it, give it away or throw everything in the trash.
No need to make plans now on what to do with my trains.. My plans for the rest of my time is to have fun.
BATMANTrains are just stuff, and getting rid of the stuff is the easy part, it just takes a phone call. Dealing with the legal issues of the deseased is where the headaches can really begin. Do your kids a big favour and have your legal affairs in order and don't worry about your toys.
Excellent advice there, Brent!
My mother, bless her soul, had everything accounted for and all titles, deeds and financial assets were either TOD or a designated beneficiary was listed.
Presently, my wife and I are having all our deeds and assets converted to avoid probate. Fortunately, our county has benefits for seniors which includes legal assistance at $25. per visit. We had new wills, directives and power of attorney papers drawn up practically for free!
As far as all my "train" related assets I have a codicil attached to my will which specifies in which order family and friends can avail themselves to help themselves to anything desired, then my wife has a few contacts listed to liquidate what's left. After that, it's a sawzall and dumpster.
I suggest to anyone who doesn't already have their end-of-life arrangements made to see if their local seniors benefits agency has low-cost help available. Often it is out there but you have to make the first step.
Cheers, Ed
― Mark Twain
If I am dead, I will not care what happens to my trains. It is likely that both my kids will be earning significant incomes to the point where them using their valuable time to dispose of my toy trains would be a waste of that time.
I told the kids to call a couple of local clubs to come get it all and keep what they want, sell what they don't at a train show.
I am reminded of my Aunt who spent a lifetime amassing a large art collection. She went into a care home where she had lots of wall space to hang many of her favourites and rotated them out with some she kept in the closet. Not wanting to burden her daughter with the disposal of her belongings she gave it all to a gallery one day to sell and got taken advantage of getting pennies on the dollars of what she should have. After she sold the art she sat and looked at blank walls for three years until she died. What a heartbreak.
I am Executor of an Estate I am dealing with right now, the house is being sold as is with contents still inside, including the ladies clothes and personal items other than financial and personal documents. It is the cheapest way to dispose of it all as the house is too far away to have to deal with the stuff. People ask what I am doing with the contents and some are appalled that I am disposing of it the way I am. I tell them to go help themselves to what ever they want and even hold out a key to the place, so far I have no takers.
Trains are just stuff, and getting rid of the stuff is the easy part, it just takes a phone call. Dealing with the legal issues of the deseased is where the headaches can really begin. Do your kids a big favour and have your legal affairs in order and don't worry about your toys.
Brent
"All of the world's problems are the result of the difference between how we think and how the world works."
ATLANTIC CENTRALTear down the layout and sell the trains? Are you nuts, how about I just drive the car into a bridge abutment right after I sell the last box car and just get it over with? You are welcome to give up on life, even if you are ill, worring about things you can't control after you are gone, I'm going to keep living thank you.
I agree. I'll run trains as long as I can hold a controller. If all the track isn't already in place, I'll lay enough to run trains.
My middle son is heavily into 3 rail O gauge. So he gets all my 3 rail trains and all my O scale buildings. After that he, my other sons, and my grandson can divide up the rest keeping what they want and selling the rest on eBay (or other ways) - again something my middle son can take the lead on. The layout can be dumped or parts of it salvaged - benchwork is all screwed together for easy reuse of the lumber if desired.
While I paid more, I would guess it all would sell for $5,000 to $10,000 depending on how much effort they want to put into selling it. I do plan to leave some estimates of value to help them get started, but nobody's retiring on it.
Paul
At 72 I'm still building ISLs that can be toted out to the trash.. I have a train show dealer that will buy my models.
If you hadn't notice I went missing for 6 days thanks to yet another CHF and a flair up of COPD backed by a infection that sided tracked me at CP Hospital.
Work will commence on a Santa Fe end of branch line at Alexander La. This is a protolance brach between Oakdale and Alexander Louisiana since Santa Fe did go to Oakdale.AAlexanderleAlexander Louisianaxander Louisiana
I had a friend, a really nice guy lol (former Santa Fe Modeler Don Nyce) who got the bad news that his cancer had spread to his bones and that he had somewhere between 3 and maybe as much as 15 years to live. It ended up being closer to 5.
What did he do? He started building his dream layout with his son in the top floor of a pole barn. They got a lot of trackwork down and functioning, and very little scenery. I said it was a bit much to attempt at the time, but they did it anyway, lol. He got closer to his son those last couple years, and they had fun with the trains as long as they could.
Don Nyce was a great guy and very well known to the Santa Fe Modelers in general.
I have aging inlaws (my Dad is gone recently and my mom is in a for now Covid free nursing home in another state near my sister). I want a ranch house with an inlaw suite, and maybe a pool, and a long basement run where I might do a true point to point along one wall.
Or else my next layout will be a 5' x 9'.
Dad, an excellent carpenter, built my current benchwork to bolt together and be removable and reusable. I could easily reuse some of it for the shelf layout at the next house. Dad always thought ahead, and did so much to bless my family...
In my case, I'm minimalist. I don't need 1000 freight cars or dozens of engines. I enjoy playing with a relative few, less than 100 freight cars, as that's all I really need. The brass models are gone to help pay for son's college already, and also because I found some BLI steamers I can actually consider "good enough" for my purposes (and much cheaper), and I'm getting at least one MTH DM&IR yellowstone, because always wanted one (it is due literally any day now).
My final version layout will be designed to be easily removed when that time comes, and as long as I'm able to run some trains I'll be happy. I don't need huge. That's what visiting friends is for--to run on their layout--lol.
John Mock
I wrote a big reply that gotten eaten in the Internet. I will summarize
It's a big pain for your heirs, the house, the junk, the deferred maintenance, the photos, the stuff important to you, but to no one else.
However I suspect few of us will be handed a timeline when we are feeling well. Maybe it's unsuccessful surgery, or chemotherapy or radiation, sold to you on the basis that it might buy time. You are unlikely to feel like you do now.
Aside from physical effects, there are the emotional effects of knowing you are going to the Pearly Gates or elsewhere, that you will never see your daughter down the aisle or that your grandchildren will really know you.
I had a near miss in 2015 and I was in no shape to dispose of anything.
An oncologist once told me something I will never forget. "Oncologists dream of sudden death"
Everyday we wake up it's a blessing. I just wish it wasn't at 3 am for a plumbing issue
Henry
COB Potomac & Northern
Shenandoah Valley
Mark R. Note - This is not about me or anyone I know. Just food for thought .... We all have a finite amount of time on this planet, but .... what if one day, your ticket gets punched and you now know when your ride will be over ? Aside from all the other responsibilities in your life, do you still carry on building that basement empire ? Or .... do you call it quits on the layout and get it torn down and sold off so the people you leave behind don't have to deal with it ? Again, this is assuming you have been given a "window" of time that you may have left here. Kind of a morbid topic, I know. I guess the older we get, these things tend to cross our mind from time to time. Mark.
Note - This is not about me or anyone I know. Just food for thought ....
We all have a finite amount of time on this planet, but .... what if one day, your ticket gets punched and you now know when your ride will be over ?
Aside from all the other responsibilities in your life, do you still carry on building that basement empire ? Or .... do you call it quits on the layout and get it torn down and sold off so the people you leave behind don't have to deal with it ? Again, this is assuming you have been given a "window" of time that you may have left here.
Kind of a morbid topic, I know. I guess the older we get, these things tend to cross our mind from time to time.
Mark.
One version or another of this has been heavily discussed on here many times before. You just added the new twist of the "terminal illness news". Since doctors are not always right, my standard reply still stands:
Personally, at 63, I'm about to start a 1500 sq ft layout. I'm in good health, not yet retired, but self employed and able to start slowing down my work pace.
Tear down the layout and sell the trains? Are you nuts, how about I just drive the car into a bridge abutment right after I sell the last box car and just get it over with?
You are welcome to give up on life, even if you are ill, worring about things you can't control after you are gone, I'm going to keep living thank you.
Our kids will need the model trains to sell off, because the will is going to read "Being of sound mind and body we spent it all".
Heck, why wait to be old? You could get hit by a bus tomorrow or get bad news from a doctor no matter what age you are?
Sheldon
I think about this every time it pops on the forum.
Since I'm still young I thought of two ways.
1.) Sell it myself, because we all know that the family doesn't know how much money it cost.
I also thought of train shows and eBay for business.
2.) Give it to other people that they advertise in MR magazines. Since they made a job out of it selling things online.
If I do create the Georgia, North Carolina, and Ohio Railway than the layout, rolling stock, locomotives and the history. Can be a family layout after I go, donate at a museum (if they want it.) I doubt selling it isn't going to work because who wants somebody's fictional railroad complete with rolling equipment and history book of the line.
Amtrak America, 1971-Present.
I don't plan on putting my family through the process of having to sell everything. I'm going to donate it all to my old club for them to do with what they please. At their show last February they made about $2000 selling donated items so I'm sure they wouldn't be stuck with much leftover.
My layout is also on casters (5'4" x 12') so it could be removed from the garage intact quite easily. It will go to the club too. If they don't want to bother handling it then they can borrow my sawzall.
I hope I'm talking 20 or 25 years down the road, by the way. There may not even be a club by then.
I'm just a dude with a bad back having a lot of fun with model trains, and finally building a layout!
This topic is a bit of a downer . . .
I kinda agree with selector. Demolishing the layout room is not a big deal. Let the real estate agents come in and remove all the benchwork in an hour or so, toss the scraps into a dumpster, and put in a few plants and some wicker furniture and a colorful throw rug here and there or something.
I also like Kevin's idea. I just don't want to get run over by a truck in the meanwhile just so somebody can get a hold of one of my bridges. But I do like the idea of stuff going to a good home where knowledgeable modelers can decide what is to be done.
My family kinda knows what I'm up to, and I've told them that all the engines and rolling stock are safely packed away in boxes and bins and should be no problem to dispose of. The electronics can easily be removed. And if they get ten cents on the dollar, so be it. At the moment all this stuff is of value to me, and in the future . . . sorry, but not a big issue.
In the meanwhile, there is still a few hundred feet of track that needs to be ballasted, and that hotel ain't gonna paint itself.
Robert
LINK to SNSR Blog
I'm 73, and until 2 years ago I was quite healthy, but not so anymore.
I would invite other train people in to take what they want. I would scrap the layout itself unless someone wants it, but I would give the remaining rolling stock, engines and structures to a local club if they'd take them.
It takes an iron man to play with a toy iron horse.
Being a club member, and our club has a sale table at our annual show. I have instructed my son to contact the club to remove everything he will not use, and have them sell it or use it on the club layout.
The club charges a commison for sales from the table, but it will be a win for all.
You know what they say about the best time to start generating a resume or a will: right before you need one. The same logic applies to just about every other undertaking in life.
I don't have a circle of buddies with whom I meet and who are fellow modelers. In fact, my closest friend is 60 miles away, and we seldom see each other, especially this year. I wouldn't dream of asking him to help out my wife if I kick the bucket and she's stuck selling and moving into an apartment or a condo...or into the home of one of our kids. My instructions would be to get a husky in, show him a couple of stout hammers and wrecker bars, and offer him $50 for the 30 minutes it would take to bust it up and haul it into a bin. It's mine or its scrap. Pronounce that any way you wish.
Kevin's idea may be the best answer.
If I know someone who might want some of what I have, it would be a good idea to make arrangements now. We could maybe make written instructions and an address of where certain cars could go. Mel's idea is also worthwhile for something that may have value.
It would be nice that my children or wife would not have to try to figure out what is what, and that something that is important to me won't end up at the curb and landfill.
My wife and I went through a period of 18 months where all four of our parents died. We were so sick of looking through things, and settling things, and getting rid of things, that I vowed I would not do that to my daughters.
I will enjoy my stuff more knowing I'm not saddling my wife or kids with headaches.
I am going to throw this out there. I hope I am not violating a forum rule.
There is a good collection of items I salvaged from friend's layouts after they passed to be included on the final STRATTON AND GILLETTE. Many of these were featured in Model Railroader and Great Model Railroads.
If anyone wants something from their layout to join this collection after they pass, please feel free to make arrangements to send it South. The town of Port Annabell is going to be a real "Who's That" of the history of model railroading.
Playing devil's advocate, why not enjoy life and not worry about leaving it? Trains provide enjoyment (or should). I focus on the fun aspect and not the money, time, etc. spent. Studies show that looking at things more positively is healthy.
I’m 83 and I could start pushing up grass tomorrow. About 5 years ago I started making eBay listings on my computer so that it would be easy to sell my locomotives (70 or so). I took and included several pictures of each for each locomotive with detailed info including wiring diagrams and a feasible starting price.I’m now working on my rolling stock, pictures and wiring diagrams for specialty passenger cars, cabooses and camera cars.
I copy all of the files to a Thumb Drive labeled Trains for eBay.My layout is on casters and could be rolled out of the garage on to a flat bed trailer (10’ wide by 14' long but movable).Mel My Model Railroad http://melvineperry.blogspot.com/ Bakersfield, California I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
Living in South Florida for 40 years I have seen this happen many times. They don't call this area "God's Waiting Room" for nothing.
Generally, when someone receives terminal news, the layout remains as a great escape. The last thing you need is another chore, like layout removal, when you need to see your loved ones and make big decisions.
I have been involved in the removal of several layouts following the builder's exit from this world. It is easy to let people know your layout needs to be scrapped after you pass, and that is easy to get done.
The tragedies are people that lie to their families about what the trains are worth, then when they pass, the widow thinks everyone is trying to rip her off when the best offer she can get is "I'll remove the layout if I can keep all the trains." I had to deal with a distraught widow a year ago that thought her husband built a work of art that she actually had to pay to get out of the house.
¡ uʍop ǝpısdn sı ǝɹnʇɐuƃıs ʎɯ 'dlǝɥ