I'll pass on the relationship discussion and chime in on the original topic.
I have been faced with this type of circumstance a couple of times, recently. The first case was the passing of my father. He was a skilled R/C aircraft modeler and a good enough pilot that about a dozen of his planes out-lived him. My mother first offered us offspring each a pick of his airplanes - although she insisted that I take a particular one (I had fabricated some parts for it). My brother and sisters selected based primarily on what space they have available for such mementos. That left the biggest and most valuable planes. Mom stored them in his shop for a while and told some of his flying buddies that they were available for a fair price - "make me an offer." Occasionally one of his flying buddies would ask her about a particular model. Over a period of years, she quietly sold them off to other good pilots. There were three that no one had any interest in (Including the DC-3 below - it was too hard to fly). I advertised and sold them via a local online classified ad service.
During the years it took to dispose of the planes, their importance evolved from "memento" to "excess stuff" and she didn't mind that the last three sold for much less than they cost. Her perspective had changed from sentimental to practical - they were in the way and she was glad to be rid of them.
I had a similar situation involving my step-daughters. They are all grown and their father had died about seven years ago. When I first began dating their mother about 5 years ago, they still clung to everything their father had owned as if he somehow still lived within these inanimate objects. Their father was a machinist, so he had a couple of machinist tool cabinets, with some very nice micrometers, dial indicators, and other gauges and precision tools. After their mother and I were married, those tool cabinets found their way into my woodshop, and they were in my way. I sensed that the girls were no longer so connected to his old stuff, so I asked if I could sell it off and give them the proceeds. They were delighted to see it go, and receive a few hundred bucks each in cash. More than once they have thanked me for "dealing with it."
My real point is that my experience is that folks seem to cling to these mementos for a while, but eventually it becomes a pragmatic issue and surviving spouses, offspring, etc. take a practical approach to it. There are plenty of accounts of spiteful spouses just dumping their departed partner's prized possessions, but I think my experiences are more common. Our surviving loved ones will want to deal with our trains in a way that honors us, even after they have grown tired of the stuff. My opinion is that we don't have to have to be concerned with what they will do, but rest secure in the trust that they will do what best honors our memory.
PS: A few details about the airplane above (in case you are interested). It had a 7-foot span and working navigation and landing lights, retractable gear, steerable tail wheel, four-cycle engines, spoilers and flaps, and all control surfaces functioned. It took nine channels to fly it. Dad loved to take it out just after sunset, so he could see the working lights and still see the plane well enough to get it safely back to earth.
Phil, I'm not a rocket scientist; they are my students.
Bruce LA My girlfriend hates this hobby so I don't want my collection to be thrown in the dumpster along with everything else that can't be sold. I don't belong to any clubs to leave it to and I don't have any friends that are in the hobby. Any thoughts? Bruce LA
My girlfriend hates this hobby so I don't want my collection to be thrown in the dumpster along with everything else that can't be sold. I don't belong to any clubs to leave it to and I don't have any friends that are in the hobby.
Any thoughts?
Bruce LA
Maybe she needs to see the other side of what else you could do with your time. Would she rather see you,
Go to professional sports events with "your buddies" regularly,
play golf,
attend a local watering holes "happy Hour" regularly,
build & maintain a drag car,
or be like my FIL, constantly being her "shadow" so that she never feels like she has a moment alone??
The 1st 4 items can involve considerably more money than the model railroading, or even be hazardous to your health or taken to extremes, illegal. Does she even realize that the are worse evils than model railroading?
Oh and 1 more thought. Quick Google research has indicated in the 61-70 age group, men are outnumbered 2-1 by women
Karl
NCE über alles!
Hi all
My girl friend wants loco CR123 and the coaches that go with, it after that.
If he survives me my best friend will get to keep what he wants and dispose of the rest.
As he is a Model Railroader I know only the real junk will go to the tip all the rest will go to new homes
to give others the same pleasure they gave me.
IF I get to build the dream layout now I have the space for it I don't know what will happen to that.
It will be far to big for most domestic situations so that will probably end up in the hands of a club or stripped and re used for something. and only end up at the tip if there is no other alternative.
regards John
Since I introduced my nephew to model railroading two year ago. I will be leaving everything to him. I been also thinking about taking one of my engines and mounting it on a piece of track and mounting it in a display case with a picture of us together as a nice memory of our time together on this earth.
John
Bruce LA To those who advised getting a new girlfriend. That was easy to do when you are 20. Not so easy when you are 63. Bruce LA
To those who advised getting a new girlfriend. That was easy to do when you are 20. Not so easy when you are 63.
For me, it would be hard to be in a relationship with a woman that did not at least understand and respect my interest in my hobbies.There is a country song which laments choosing between the wife and fishing - the chorus repeats "I'm going to miss her", but obviously not enough to give up fishing........
For me, model trains are big part of who I am, without them I would not be the same person, thereby not likely to be happy in such a relationship, or even get into that relationship in the first place.
Maybe for the OP, model trains are not that important, maybe he should give them up now, and save the girl friend the trouble.
Sheldon
Bruce LAwhen you are 63.
Russell
My dad died in 1959 when I was 14, and Mom sold off our/his 12 Lionel sets because she thought my brother and I were outgrowing toys. I managed to keep the Lionel-size truss bridge he scratchbuilt from scrap metal bent into angles, and heavy wire. I have it mounted on the wall in my train room about my N layout.
Some parts are bent because I saw a movie when I was 5 years old, just after Dad built the bridge, and in the movie, the brave American pilots were bombing the enemy bridges, and...
Dad also built a model, approximately O scale, of the church the family attended in the 40s, as a publicity thing for a campaign to raise funds for a new church. When the new church was built, the model of the old church was placed in a glass display in the church foyer.
Thirty-five years later, church members had moved away, grown old, etc. and the congregation could not support its big 1948 building. They combined with another congregation, sold the building, and moved Dad's model into a church heritage room. Ten years later, hardly anyway at the combined church remembered the old one and they needed the heritage room. The model went into the garage of a women who was a teenager babysitting me when I was a year old. But ten more years later, she needed to clear out her house to move to a retirement home, and the church model came to my family's garage, behind a house sitting vacant because our mom was in a retirement home.
Last year, we started cleaning out the property to sell. I thought my dad's model had some historical interest as a model of an actual place in Houston. I put out flyers in Houston hobby shops and clubs looking for an O scale individual or club who could find a home for the large model. Just before Christmas, it was placed in the large public display of a tinplate train club in one of Houston's major malls.
It's good to think about this every now and then. IMHO whatever someone's wishes are needs to be in writing which is true for just about everything of value someone may own. My aunt who was a professional landscape artist passed away a couple months ago and her house contained 30-40 paintings. She had gone through and inventoried everything and then made a notarized list of how each one was to be handled. All of us received one and the rest were donated to the community.
Since I have seen families argue or something as simple as a portable air conditioner so to have a written plan seems like a good idea.
There's never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.....
ruderunnerIt would have been nice to know the Mclelland ws moving and the VO was up for grabs. We were thinking of moving at about that time and I was just starting on my current layout. I might have bought Johns house or just the layout, ...
I might have bought Johns house or just the layout, ...
Fortunately, this did happen to the Pacifc Southern. When Bob Latham passed, a member of the operating crew bought the house from his family, and built an addition to expand the layout.
greg - Philadelphia & Reading / Reading
As poor as my health has been this is serious thought for me. (and I'm only 47)I have a friend that will get a nice insurance policy to take care of my affairs and he and his young sons love trains so no bonfires for my stuff!
On a side note, a while back I got a call when I was out of town from a man that said his father died and had a big train layout and lots of trains they just wanted to give away and somehow they got my number.I told him to leave it on my back porch and I would go through it and put it to good use.I got home and all that was there was a pile of 30 year old bench work and torn up foam that had been carefully disassembled WITH A CHAINSAW!!! No trains or track or anything!Now it was my problem to haul their garbage to the dump!
I know this topic comes up every once in a while but it's always after the fact. It would have been nice to know the Mclelland ws moving and the VO was up for grabs. We were thinking of moving at about that time and I was just starting on my current layout.
I might have bought Johns house or just the layout, I have the room for it though may have had to reposition some sections.
To that point, Does anyone think it (or know of) a place where layout in such a position can be marketed? Beyond ebay maybe a subsection on this site or somewhere else?
Modeling the Cleveland and Pittsburgh during the PennCentral era starting on the Cleveland lakefront and ending in Mingo junction
Just get a bike and start doing situps. Even a wrinkley six pack will get you an old maid. Just ask Arnold.
Brent
"All of the world's problems are the result of the difference between how we think and how the world works."
Bruce LA Since I'm feeling less invincible since I retired, I've been updating my will and realized that I have a fair amount of money tied up in locomotives and rolling stock. I initially wanted to have a viking funeral where my body and train collection were put in a sail boat and set on fire as it sailed out to sea, but the Coast Guard said no. My girlfriend hates this hobby so I don't want my collection to be thrown in the dumpster along with everything else that can't be sold. I don't belong to any clubs to leave it to and I don't have any friends that are in the hobby. Any thoughts? Bruce LA
Since I'm feeling less invincible since I retired, I've been updating my will and realized that I have a fair amount of money tied up in locomotives and rolling stock. I initially wanted to have a viking funeral where my body and train collection were put in a sail boat and set on fire as it sailed out to sea, but the Coast Guard said no.
First wife said one day "Its ether me or the trains", second wife knows better. Get a new girlfriend!
It's real simple
Each child (5 sons) will get to select either an engine, or an engine and cars. The each of the Grandchildren (currently 3 ) can also select an engine if they desire. The rest, per prior agreement with the local club, will be turned over to them to be auctioned off by the club in a public forum (either auction house or ebay) with the proceeds being split between my wife and the club.
We all came to this agreement after a fairly young member of the club suddenly passed years ago, and we got to see firsthand what it took to disperse his collection.
Over the past two years my club has received donations from three model Railroaders. One left the hobby and the other two passed on and their families donated their equipment to the club. None of them had layouts and we did not know them before they made their donations. Two of the donations were worth several thousands of dollars with many locomotives, rolling stock, assembled craftsman structures and structure kits. My stuff will be going to my club if it is still in existence.
One of my clubs members owned a mail order business and went to many shows. He had a lot of stock on hand. When he passed on another business owner offered his widow a large sum to purchase the entire lot. The widow refused and sold it at auction on the advice of her lawyer. She got pennies on the dollar, nowhere near what she was offered. He did make a bequest to the club.
If I have a massive layout and enough stuff, I'd donate my house to a historical group so they could use it as a railroad museum. I plan on living close, very close to the former SP&S main.
SP&S modeler, 1960's give or take a decade or two for some equipment.
http://www.youtube.com/user/SGTDUPREY?feature=guide
Gary DuPrey
N scale model railroader
Not much worried about the railroad and models. More concerned that someone can use my collection of hard-to-find prototype Santa Fe books and primary source material.
I have taken precautions to keep my photo collection in use by donating 1500 photos (including rail photos) to a major university historical archive and organizing and cataloguing the collection.
http://rattler.tamucc.edu/dept/special/Anthony.html
redram58 Not my problem.
Not my problem.
Think I'll make it my problem and come back and haunt the living to ensure my models and dog finds a good home.
BOOO!
Larry
Conductor.
Summerset Ry.
"Stay Alert, Don't get hurt Safety First!"
Since several people have mentioned what to do, this is what I'm doing..................
I'm taking it with me!
No questions asked!
Gordon
Brought to you by the letters C.P.R. as well as D&H!
K1a - all the way
I am leaving to my youngest Cousin in law Adam He will see they get a proper home. Right near his toy and Lionel Collection.
Joe Staten Island West
ATLANTIC CENTRAL Whoever goes first sees to the proper redistribution of the others stuff. Sheldon
Whoever goes first sees to the proper redistribution of the others stuff.
My late wife's knitting stuff went to the dumpster..I couldn't find any takers.All her clothes went to Goodwill.
Disclaimer - I did not read any of the other replies before posting this, and because it is a topic much covered in the past, I likely will not read the other replies.
Bruce, first advice, get a new girl friend.
Second, who cares what happens to them when you are gone?
But what you need is a woman who will see the value in passing the stuff on to someone who will appreciate it, or you need a close friend in the hobby. Whoever goes first sees to the proper redistribution of the others stuff.
dknelson What usually happens is that one or two good buddies of the deceased who are also model railroaders agree to try to sell off the collection as the last favor they can do their old friend. {snip}
What usually happens is that one or two good buddies of the deceased who are also model railroaders agree to try to sell off the collection as the last favor they can do their old friend.
{snip}
A couple of friends and I are currently going into the third year of disposing of a buddy's layout and related equipment. The locomotives, rolling stock and DCC equipment were easy enough to sell at train shows over the first two years, spreading it out so as not to flood the market.
The problem has been with the layout itself. The majority of the layout is a very accurate model of a specific prototype location and we all (including our buddy's widow) agree that preserving it would be an appropriate memorial to our late friend. We're currently considering the third offer of a home for the layout, after the first place we approached wanted to us to assume all of the costs and effort to move it several hundred miles to their location, where they would use it in a way that would destroy it within a couple of years. The second effectively wanted us to create a turnkey model railroad club for them, in a way that would have required an ongoing maintenance commitment from us at a location 5+ hours from where most of us live.
If the third option, a museum setting 30 miles from the modeled location, doesn't work out, then we'll probably just end up cutting out the sections we can reasonably re-use and buying them from the widow, then binning the rest. A lot will depend on whether/how soon our buddy's wife decides to move out of the house.
We've been fortunate to have a good deal of time to consider our options and work with our friend's wife to come up with the best combination of results for her-- it has permitted us to be more choosy than we might otherwise have been.
-Fritz Milhaupt, Publications Editor, Pere Marquette Historical Society, Inc.http://www.pmhistsoc.org
I'm in basically the same situation as the OP -- my only son has no interest in trains, but I do belong to a local model railroad club and have made provisions in my will that the trains go to the club if it is still around.
After that, I guess it will just be a matter of letting the club members fight over who gets what.
Bruce
Like everything else, you can't take it with you. I would not worry about it since you will not be here. If your girlfriend is smart, she will at least sell it, not throw it away. I have my stuff cataloged and have told my wife to consign it to the LHS.
CZ