"I like my Pullman Standards & Budds in Stainless Steel flavors, thank you!"
QUOTE: Originally posted by bill mathewson If you had looked at the latest "Twains Magazine" weekly news update on the web today(April 1, 2004) you would have answered your own question and not have annoyed any fellow Forum participants'by posing a question that you should obviously know the answer to. . . As they reported this AM -- White metal' is actually a bi-product from the manufacturing of unobtanioum that is alledgedly mined in Manchuria - the material that Broadway is using for the manufacturing of their new stainless steel appearing lightweight passenger cars. In order for Broadway to make their new cars extra shiny (AntonioFP45 - are you reading this string ?) they have to triple refine the unobtanium and pass it through a Krypton filtration bi-pass process, essentially zapping it with approx. 113,537 volts at 20 amps for .007 nanoseconds. An unidentified employee from Broadway leaked out, but off the record, that the whole process is a closely guarded secret held by the Chinese govt. and that a deal was brokered between China and Broadway by Al Gore over 4 yrs ago when Gore was disguised as a politician on a diplomatic mission to extend Wally World franchises into several Chinese provinces. Of course, all of the above parties have refused an interview or to even issue a statement, except Broadway which just announced that their new s.s. passenger cars will have an MSRP of $64.00 (1st stage of their $64,000. marketing program) and expect that they will all be presold, sight unseen to eager Americans - if so, the price will certainly be higher for each subsequent release. To add yet an ironic twist to this already almost unbelievable string of events, Richard Clark already is talking to editors re: screening his latest book entitled: "Hobby Magazines Ignored Warnings of Crazy Pricing Trends" subtitle follows: ' Subscription Price Hikes to Piggyback Assault On Gullible Trainmen' As soon as Bill O'Reilly broke story on Fox News, ACLU contacted Norman Mineta and threatened a class action suit against all parties. Mineta spokesperson stated that he "doesn't like liitle trains and that it serves them right". Jessie Jackson jumped into the fray and is demanding $4.5 million in damages for his '"Rainbow whatchamacallit group" since 'trainman', 'trainmen', et al are discriminatory and must be changed to 'trainpersons'. The NY Times reported today that - Mineta, feeling the pressure, is "considering eliminating Amtrak all together (despite rumors to the contrary on another string on this forum) as a method of shutting everybody up and avoiding chaos in an election year". It appears he's flip-flopping on this issue, and Washington insiders contend that he's being groomed for a position in the unlikely event there is a Kerry admin. Hannity plans to have a guest on tonite that hasn't been heard from in years - a voice familiar to 'Left -Coasters', but not necessarily left wingers - named Wally George who is reporting that Mineta is on the Broadway board of directors and that their marketing strategy simply is that the elimination of Amtrak will drive up the demand and subsequently the price of future releases to almost unheard of levels - price predictions are that one HO s.s. diner car will be equal to one Amtrak coast-to-coast coach ticket by 2007. They will, however, enhance their product line catering to the apparent ever increasing demand for greater accuracy (according to that unidentified Broadway employee) by adding DCC controlled sounds to their diner cars of people smacking their lips, scuffing their throats and belching, as well as the ability to select different smells -cooking odors, kitchen trash, backed up toilets, or the smell of really ripe coach patrons on their third day of unbathed travel. Note: Model Railroader is already test marketing these 'smells' in the inks they use (as pointed out on yet another string on this Forum a couple of days ago). Anticipating all the flap about escalating model railroad equipment prices (and as an apparent stategy to counter the rumors in Mr. Clark's next book, as well as to distract the potential conflict of interest being raised that there is a possible symbiotic relationship between Broadway and Kalmbach) Model Railroader announced a reduction in their subscription rate and as an added incentive, are offering a free issue of their latest railroading orientated theme publication just announced called Kalmbach's 'Kalmic (sic) Book of Trains' featuring fallen flags and fallen action heros! And speaking of fallen 'stuff', Tyco's fallen CEO, Koslowski actually believed that hisTyco company made little trains and had planned to throw a $2 million party and invited executives from both Walthers and Wally World to explore a potential merger to counter Broadway's 'runaway train' pricing. An emergency congressional committee has also been formed to find an alternate source of white metal because of all the political fallout, global big-businees abuses-both real and potential, and threats to both big trains and little ones. It is further hoped by some members of congreess that it will derail Jessie Jackson and Richard Clark, cancelling their TV appearances and distorted rhetoric, and to provide Norman Mineta with a graceful out since nobody understands his position on anything anyway. Undisclosed hobby industry experts believe the most likely alternate material is called 'brass', but since some believe that it is an endangered species, the Sierra Club has cancelled all hikes this weekend and is organizing rallies protesting the mining of 'brass'. Richard Clark has responded with yet a third book proposal, coauthored with Ralph Nader, which will allege yet another conspiracy that there are, as yet unidentified people of mass destruction plotting to make all future model railroads freight only, since no little railroads will be able to afford to buy new passenger cars from China and will have to settle for far less expensive equipment from Italy. And just when this whole very bizarre story couldn't get more so, breaking news reports that Michael Jackson has been ordered to immediately stop playing with his Lionel O27 trainset with little boys--on the same day he received an award in Washington for doing just that !
Life is simple - eat, drink, play with trains!
Go Big Red!
PA&ERR "If you think you are doing something stupid, you're probably right!"