Railroad jokes

[BCSJ]

Did you hear about the engineer who really wanted to run the switch engine but he wouldn't work for a standard gauge railroad. Only a 3' narrow gauge?

Yeah, he wanted to be part of the yard crew...

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  Why do ducks have flat feet?

   From stomping out burning forest fires.

Well then, why do elephants have flat feet?

   From stomping out burning ducks.

Why do train men have flat feet.

   Actually it's a different part of their anatomy that gets flat...

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More on my website...

[Packers#1]

I get it!  Penn Central was a joke!  Clever.

Now I get it as well.

[Packers#1]

This thread is about to

Now what idiot parked there?

[trainfan1221]

I get it!  Penn Central was a joke!  Clever.

[Dave Vollmer]

This thread is about to

[Packers#1]

Great joke, Philip.

[SteamFreak]

Does anyone here have any good railroad jokes?

[trainfan1221]

Why don't steam locomotives sit down?  THEY ALWAYS HAVE A TENDER BEHIND!  Hey nobody said they had to be good jokes..

[saronaterry]

No wonder your train ran so good in your video, PC!!

Terry

[pcarrell]

I found where I picked this up at.  It's here.

There's some other good stuff there too!

[pcarrell]

No, I actually got that from somewhere else, but I have been studying the Bible for years.  I love theology.

[Bapou]

Did you just make that up yourself? You must really know a lot about the bible.

[pcarrell]

I saw also the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple. (Isaiah 6:1)
And he made the table; (Exodus 35:10)
twenty cubits was the length thereof, according to the breadth of the house; and ten cubits was the breadth thereof, (I Kings 6:3)
being in the form (Philippians 2:6)
of the island. (Isaiah 34:14)
But Peter said, "Not so, Lord; for (Acts 10:14)
every wise hearted man, (Exodus 36:2)
working with his hands the thing which is good, (Ephesians 4:28)
against the wall of the house he built." (I Kings 6:5)
But God said unto him, (Luke 12:20)
"I am the LORD, I change not." (Malachi 3:6)
The LORD hath made all things (Proverbs 16:4)
on the table, (Luke 22:21)
Unto the mountains, and to the hills, to the rivers, and to the valleys, (Ezekiel 36:6)
and the towns thereof. (I Chronicles 7:28)
And make straight paths for your (Hebrews 12:13)
train. (Proverbs 22:6)
Them of old time (Matthew 5:21)
have made them crooked paths: whosoever goeth therein, (Isaiah 59:8)
sudden destruction cometh upon them. (I Thessalonians 5:3)
The crooked shall be made straight, and the rough ways shall be made smooth. (Luke 3:5)
And God said, "Let there be (Genesis 1:6)
horses (II Kings 2:11)
of iron." (Deuteronomy 3:11)
And he made in Jerusalem engines, invented by cunning men, (II Chronicles 26:15)
of brass (Ex 27:2)
very precious; (Mk 14:3)
Mountains, with (Ezekiel 35:8)
four wheels (Eze 10:9)
and eight (Ex 36:9)
and two (Gen 7:9)
with the tender. (Song 2:13)
They shall run like (Joel 2:7)
a watch. (Matthew 27:65)
And he shall set engines of (Ezekiel 26:9)
good speed (Genesis 24:12)
in the way wherein they should go, (Nehemiah 9:12)
and to pull (Jeremiah 18:7)
very many chariots. (II Chronicles 16:8)

And Mary arose in those days, (Luke 1:39)
and she came to Jerusalem with a very great train. (I Kings 10:2)
And she said, "Oh my lord, (I Samuel 1:26)
verily it shall (Jeremiah 15:11)
stay upon (Isaiah 50:10)
the good way, (Jeremiah 6:16)
and that which should be set on thy table should (Job 36:16)
turn not aside therefrom to the right hand or to the left." (Joshua 23:6)
And I heard the voice of many angels, (Revelation 5:11)
and they said one to another, "Behold, this dreamer cometh." (Genesis 37:19)
And he sighed deeply in his spirit, (Mark 8:12)
and he said, "Thou hast asked a hard thing: (II Kings 2:10)
according to your faith be it unto you." (Matthew 9:29)
And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, (Genesis 24:15)
the Mountain (Joshua 11:16)
turned aside out of the way, and went into the field, (Numbers 22:23)
and all the chariots (II Kings 8:21)
went backward, and fell to the ground. (John 18:6)
Then the LORD said unto (Jeremiah 11:6)
the Mountain, (Joshua 11:16)
"The frogs (Exodus 8:4)
be too narrow for thee." (Joshua 17:15)
And he repaired the (II Chronicles 33:16)
turn...out. (Hebrews 12:13)
And so it (II Samuel 1:2)
went another way (I Kings 13:10)
until it (Hosea 7:4)
began to be stopped. Then they were very wroth, (Nehemiah 4:7)
And the LORD said, (Job 1:8)
"Behold now, I perceive that this is (II Kings 4:9)
some uncleanness." (Deuteronomy 24:1)
And after he... cleansed (Ezekiel 44:26)
the wheels, (Ezekiel 10:12)
while he yet spake, behold, a Bright (Matthew 17:5)
Boy for (Joel 3:3)
cleansing (Leviticus 13:7)
rail, on (II Chronicles 32:17)
both the top of it, and the sides thereof. (Exodus 37:26)
What God hath cleansed, (Acts 10:15)
it shall be clean, (Leviticus 11:37)
round about thy table. (Psalm 128:3)
And, lo, I perceived that (Nehemiah 6:12)
it moveth itself, (Proverbs 23:31)
And ran through that whole region round about, and began to (Mark 6:55)
run continually. (Psalm 58:7)
The angels said, (Hebrews 1:13)
"Indeed a notable miracle hath been done." (Acts 4:16)
And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. (Genesis 1:31)

[Bapou]

Does anyone here have any good railroad jokes? Post away!!!