significant other?

[krump]

I feel compelled to reply with some thoughts, intended to encourage everyone[:)]... This is a hobby, and a lifestyle, and it is nice to share it with others[^], however this post has shifted from (in my perpective) a general interest query to what I perceive to be a "not so uncommon" frustration[:(] wondering how to find happiness, and fulfillment perhaps involving a significant other. The last 20 posts or so have a flavour of "where, when is my significant other coming into my life? idea". So that you know where I'm coming from (with sincerity, I feel the pain) and at the risk of being too vulnerable... I'll fill in a few personal life circumstances intended to let you know that there is hope. Press on. Things do change...

I was born with a permanent physical disability (winter is tough for me to get around in as I noted in another post), - my physical perspective on life,
I was raised in a Christian home (in my case that made a big difference[^]),
spent much time in the hospital as a child between the ages of 1-15 yrs as I recovered from approx 30 (thirty) corrective surgeries, significant time in wheelchairs off my feet,
received my first train set at age 9 (I think ?)[8D]
saw friends dating, at a time when I was extremely self conscious (yet also quite outgoing and socially involved) - this was a constant burden for me, eventually I took some risks and began dating also,
like some others have also noted, I felt lonely, rejected, and reluctant to take risks...
My WIFE ([:D]) walked into my life 8 yrs ago (I was 31)
- she's wonderful, spends more on Scrapbooking our Memories, than I do on trains,
- she has little interest in trains, while I am still developing the skills to do the hobby (I've also started a "guys version of Scrapbooking" - cars, vacations, camping...),
we knew that we were unable to conceive children for several reasons,
the Lord (literally) allowed us adopt a little girl under seemingly impossible circumstances (not to mention that it's more expensive than model r/r and scrapbooking combined)- the year after we were married[:D][:D]------ though we had considered it, we had not yet applied, and none of the paperwork process (12-18 months) had started, yet there was our little miracle baby
three years later we adopted two children internationally
(if you are doing the math... at age 31 I was single, by age 35 I was married with 3 kids... [:)][:)]God is good).
I've worked for Corrections / Probation for the past 16 years - and there have been numerous difficult circumstances to deal with (who says that crime doesn't pay? I get paid every 2 weeks[:o)]... and I do have friends in low places) -can't bring work home, or even discuss it, so I need a good hobby.
our kids enjoy coming to see the Club's train railroads also

To those that need some encouragement, I hope that it encourages you to stay focussed and keep doing what you enjoy. We all experience a few setbacks along the way .
To those that do not share my perspective, I mean no offence - I am relating my circumstances to encourage others, and those details are part of it, I am not intending to "preach", and that is all that you will hear from me about it (I have been reluctant to give personal details, therefore my forum profile remains blank)

NOW, don't we all have some TRAINING to do???[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:)][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][^][:D]

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by flee307

My wife thinks there is something developmentally wrong with me because I have what she considers a childs hobby and she can't bring herself to even visit the layout. She never really complains, she just looks at me like you do a new puppy that just crapped on the floor everytime I say trains, you know, slight smile with eyes rolled back in her head. I never buy anything in her presence and never ask to go to a hobby shop when she is with me. She has this thing for faries and it takes me an extra 10 min to mow because of all of them winged women in the yard. So I pay her back when she mentions faries or wants to stop at a yard ornament store. But you know, I don't really mind her faries, I can always use them in arguements, and some of them are pretty hot lookin'. FRED

You sound just like me and my wife. I must move 20 or so everytime I mow the lawn during the summer. At least with our trains, nothing has to be picked up, moved adn replaced everytime there is to be a picnic. [:D]

[vsmith]

My wife thinks it would be "significant" if I did something "other" than play with my "toys" .

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

My wife thinks it would be "significant" if I did something "other" than play with my "toys" .

we all agree....It would be Significant if you stopped playing with your toys and started playing with your trains :D

[Anonymous]

I think my girlfriend started a monster.

[vsmith]

QUOTE: Originally posted by NTDN

QUOTE: Originally posted by vsmith

My wife thinks it would be "significant" if I did something "other" than play with my "toys" .

we all agree....It would be Significant if you stopped playing with your toys and started playing with your trains :D

To me, they are "scale Model Railroad Equipment"[:D]

To her, they're "toys"[:(]

[brothaslide]

QUOTE: Originally posted by krump

I feel compelled to reply with some thoughts, intended to encourage everyone[:)]... My WIFE ([:D]) walked into my life 8 yrs ago (I was 31)
- she's wonderful, spends more on Scrapbooking our Memories, than I do on trains,
- she has little interest in trains, while I am still developing the skills to do the hobby (I've also started a "guys version of Scrapbooking" - cars, vacations, camping...),

This sounds alot like my wife and I - She scrapbooks and I do the trains and we are both very committed to God.

[METRO]

One of my girlfiriend's loves along with me, her Mini and her fashion designer job is travel and trains. On our layout I do the Canadian National, she does the Canadian Pacific and we share the VIA, Amtrak, Go Transit and senics.

[preceng]

My wife has no interest in the sport, but she buys me gift certificates. Good Girl

[dave9999]

QUOTE: Originally posted by Grayhound Challenger

I think my girlfriend started a monster.

Hey Greyhound, I started this topic and I can ASSURE you that I am not your girlfriend. Dave

[Anonymous]

My wife IS THE BEST. You see, I labored long and hard on my own, discovering my own deficiencies and procrastinating my magazine-worthy layout, until finally she came along. Where my benchwork was shoddy, she built benchwork like kitchen cabinets, and where my trackwork proved a rough ride, she showed me how to create a silky-smooth right-of way which never derails my consists. My rat's nest of wiring got the treatment, too, and now it looks like a clear and functional full-size diagram, stapled to the underside of my joists. And, she insisted that ever last N-scale engine have a DCC decoder, work which she paid out of her own resources to have done. Meanwhile, I've been free to focus on my strengths, such as scenery, and kitbashing, and structure building, painting and weathering cars and locomotives, and the like. What's more, I don't even have to go downstairs to fetch a beverage when my hands are all covered in plaster... she runs down to the fridge long before I ever ask it.

The only problem is, and I'll grant you that it is a very serious difficulty in our marriage, is this: I HAVEN"T MET HER YET. ;-)

Where oh where are you, my love? I languish in your absence...

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by dave9999
Hey Greyhound, I started this topic and I can ASSURE you that I am not your girlfriend. Dave

No But she did get us started on the side track of when the women of our dreams is going to walk in our life! Peace my friends.

James.

[dave9999]

I've never had the problem of waiting for women to walk into my life. It's getting them to walk out thats
the problem! But I have to say that the one I have now is a keeper.We've been together about seven years
now. I've had to convert her from a Penn State football fan to a FloridaGators fan.
And when I decide to try model railroading, she was all for it. She helps out with what she can. She paints
the structures(I do the weathering) and helps with the trees and scenery. The rest, I'm on my on. Dave

[Anonymous]

I'm not married, but I wondered how my wife or g/f would respond to my 'toys.' I'd hope she'd think I had an interesting hobby, whether or not she shared my interest. One think's for sure: the moment she started 'cleaning house' and decided that my trains were ripe for the trash bin, she'd be OUTTA HERE. Nobody comes between me and my model trains!

[Anonymous]

My wife would probably like me to commit to one hobby or the other. My camaro restoration or trains. She never complains about money spent. Probably because I think long and hard before I spend and think of family first. We virtually have nothing in common othe than to make the other happy[:)] Being a carpenter though she would rather have me make our house look like the pictures I bring home than invest my time in a hobby. I going to start a garden railroad in hopes of including her. She loves flowers and planting.

Carpenter matt - If it's to be made from wood I can build it! It's the rest I have problems with!#%*$

[CNW-400]

My wife enjoys trains & model railroading, and is darn good at building structures and scenicing. She never complains about how much I spend and I don't say anything about her scrapbooking expenses. We both work hard and if we want to spend our earnings on something we enjoy where's the problem?

Probably the only friction is that she likes lots of scenery: houses, buildings, streets & people, and I like lots of sidings & big freight yards. Unfortunately there's only so much space available. Oh well, guess we need to build a second layout!

Mark