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How did you cope with the loss of an enthusiastic fan of your model railroad?
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Hi Mondo- <br /> <br />I want to express my sympathy to you for the recent loss of your Dad . You and I are of approximately the same age, and I lost my Dad to cancer at the age of 80 almost nineteen years ago, and it still seems like just yesterday that he and I were talking about his life, his adventures, and what he hoped that I could accomplish with mine. <br /> <br />That your Dad was an enthusiastic supporter of your model railroading should inspire you to continue to pursue what he'd want you to do. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to stop your life and the things that fulfill your needs for creativity and relaxation. Everyone grieves differently, and only you know how you will get through this phase in your life. A lot of that depends on how you and your Dad related to each other. If your Dad could talk to you right now, what would he suggest for you to do? You know. <br /> <br />My Dad was an amateur woodworker and I inherited a lot of his very worn hand tools that I remember him buying secondhand over fifty years ago. I recall him using them, and my abusing them. He always tried to teach me how to work with them correctly, but I was more interested in building models. . .Shortly after he passed away, I got them out, cleaned and sharpened them, and made a silent commitment to him that I'd teach myself, what he had tried in vain to have me learn from him. And I did just that, still have all those tools, and now use them in my custom furniture business. Every time I cut a mitre, or use one of his old Stanley handplanes, I know he'd be proud of what I'm doing. I'm literaly in touch with him in some way, every day in my shop. I'm proud to admit that I still seek his praise, and if I ever consider taking a shortcut, or not doing something to the best of my ability, I fear his disapproval. <br /> <br />Don't ever abandon the relationship you had with your Dad. Complete your layout as a way of embracing the good memories you shared with him. I like the idea of naming an industry after him, as someone suggested. Perhaps he had a favorite automobile or truck. Duplicate a model of that if you can. Consider parking that vehicle in front of a restaurant that resembed one of his favorites. Do you have any knowledge of his boy hood home and what it looked like? Try to duplicate that in miniature. What was his favorite color? Adapt that somewhere in the theme of your railroad - on a structure, a particular piece of rolling stock, or a special excursion train. Did he have a favorite expression? Why not work that in somewhere as a slogan on a billboard? The possibilities are limitless. <br /> <br />It is perfectly natural for you to not feel like working on your railroad right now, or perhaps even posting on this Forum. On the other hand, it takes guts to come forward and seek support from us on this Forum. It sounds so trivial to say this, but you need to take each day as a unique day, a brand new day, and just let it happen for the time being. I am having to do that too, for my 34 year old nephew disappeared while swimming off the coast of Maui 8 days ago, and he is probably lost, although no trace of him has been found. I have found that staying involved on this Forum, and just staying busy, has helped me cope. When I think about him, I strive to recall what a fine young man and devoted father he was, and the good times we shared. <br /> <br />Again, my condolencences to you and your family. <br /> <br />BILL <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />
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