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When your family hates your hobby

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  • Member since
    January 2003
  • From: Mexico
  • 2,629 posts
Posted by egmurphy on Wednesday, July 21, 2004 8:08 PM
Neerie

Sounds like you are doing good in not spending much on the hobby now, especially before you decide on what you want to model. With only a year or so left until you can move out (if I read you correctly) you probably aren't going to change things much at home. It may be just a matter of keeping a low profile on the hoby until you move out.

If it were possible to find a club in your area that might be a good idea, as it would allow you to get out of the house and socialize with other modelers. It's not necessary to have your own rolling stock to participate in a club. Most are glad just to have more participating menmbers who are willing to work on projects.

Not sure where in Quebec you are, but the World's Greatest Hobby website listed 7 clubs in Quebec Province. I'm sure there are more that are not listed. If there's a hobby shop within striking distance you could inquire there regarding any clubs in the area.

There's probably an unfounded but deeply rooted feeling that girls and power tools don't mix, not to mention the surprise of many when they here that a girl is interested in model railroading. I'm sure you already recognize that it's something you'll struggle with for a long time.

Actually, when you do move out I suspect you will be looking at a small/normal size apt., so you'll still not be ready to start on a model railroad empire. A good starter layout can be done on a hollow core wood door (that's what I'm working on, due to lack of space) that requires no real carpentry skills at all.

Good luck

Ed
The Rail Images Page of Ed Murphy "If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay home." - James Michener
  • Member since
    November 2003
  • 760 posts
Posted by Roadtrp on Wednesday, July 21, 2004 9:21 PM
<<You are 24 and can make your own decisions about what you want to do with your life--even if you live under their roof, they don't own you and have no right to decide your interests for you.>>

Sorry.
My House.
My Rules.
If you don't like it, hit the street.

Edited to add...

I agree that parents have no right to dictate interests of an adult child, no matter what the living arrangements are. I just had a knee-jerk reaction to the tone of that post. I do believe in the my house, my rules thing though.

When my son was living at home I always wanted him home by 11:00 PM during the week. Why? Because I wanted to be asleep by then, and I didn't want my sleep disturbed by the noise of him coming in the house. On the weekends, I didn't care if he stayed out all night. I know it may seem unreasonable for a 24 year old to have a curfew, but I think it is also unreasonable to have my sleep disturbed on a week night. I never charged him any rent and I provided all his food. I figure putting up with a curfew wasn't a bad trade.

[:)]


-Jerry
  • Member since
    October 2003
  • From: Southern Minnesota now
  • 956 posts
Posted by Hawks05 on Wednesday, July 21, 2004 11:34 PM
my parents are kind of annoyed by this hobby as well. they think its just a phase that i'm going through in life. my mom kind of likes it and my dad thinks its kind of stupid i think. like tonight i was talking to him about how i programed the scanner we have to a channel for the train line through town. i told him that if i hear something i'll be able to hop in a vehicle and go down by the tracks and take some pictures. he just laughed. i told him that when we're down in Milwaukee we can try and find a yard or something and take some pictures. again he just laughed and asked what am i becoming.

my mom doesn't mind going to the hobby store with me. she thinks its cool to see stuff so small and then see if rolling through town in real life. and she's into antiques so if she sees stuff used by train companies she thinks thats cool to. my dad on the other hand doesn't say much. i show him something i put together and he's like that wasn't that hard was it.

i guess i can't wait till i'm out of the house. i have one year of HS left and then i'll be off to college so i won't be around to bother them at all. i'll still have my stuff at home because i know i won't be living in an apartment or anything for awhile. once i'm done with college though i plan to find a job ASAP and get my stuff into a house or apartment. hopefully i'll have found a wife by that time and we can settle down or something to the point where i can have my trains at one place and be out of the way of everyone. the only time i'll be at home is probably during summers.

good luck with everything and hopefully it works out for you.
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, July 22, 2004 1:26 AM
My parents have taken an extream hardline agains my model railroad. Well Actually its more my mom. My dad is a fellow modeler but since he wants a nice warm bed to sleep at night he has no choice but to go along. All last winter my layout was a continual source of hate and discontent in my family, as it was set up in the garage and was taking up most of it. But that was the the deal since they wouldn't let me put it anywhere else. However, last year, my girlfriend, (Now ex) and a really tough spring semester kept me away from running anything or doing any work for prolonged periods of time. Mom decided I was done working on it and thus decreed that it immediatly be removed from the garage to make more room for her things. However. since there is no other place to put it, It meant outright scrapping it.

Of course I was totally against it. and they said they would rent a "Storage Shed" for it. Of which not only would my model railroad would go. But a bunch of their junk as well, effectivly barring me from a function model railroad. I fought stringently, nogotiated, re-negotiated, and threatened scrapping of her stuff. (We can all guess how that flew). In the end the layout was dismantled into componet sections. and put into a storage unit across town.

I am left embittered and somewhat angry at this set back and am now endeavoring to get the rest of my model railroad stuff ready for installation so construction, and set up can proceed more quickly once I am able to set my layout back up again.

So I say, to people with unsupportive parents. Build quickly, often, and operate frequently, as given the first sign of apparent lack of continued interest in it, It will be decreed that it needs removed to make more room for "family" affairs.

a slightly disgruntled

James
  • Member since
    August 2003
  • From: Midtown Sacramento
  • 3,340 posts
Posted by Jetrock on Thursday, July 22, 2004 2:51 AM
I guess I can't really relate...my dad got me into model railroading in the first place, a hobby which my mom supported because it taught so many useful skills to the kids, as well as keeping her husband home working on the layout with my brother and myself.

Of course, she doesn't want him to get back into model railroading now (she has insisted that he fix their central heat & air unit first) so he has to come over to my place and see my layout to get his fix!
  • Member since
    July 2002
  • From: Stevens Point
  • 436 posts
Posted by AlcoRS11Nut on Thursday, July 22, 2004 7:41 PM
Who cares what they think!!!! If I changed everytime someone would give me "what a freak" or, "your weird", "your a loser", I would be changeing myself everyday (wait that sounded bad[V]), let me rephrase that, I would be changeing my personalyity, my interestes every week! I tried that for a while, then I got tired of it, and decided that if people don't like me for who I am... F**K THEM, I am going to be me, not what people want me to be!!!! (I have no regrets doing, takeing that attiude). As the Dr. Pepper comercial says ...Be You....! As for still leaving with your parents....try geting a room-mate or a
boy-friend so you could maybe split the rent on the apartment. You should have a easier time finding a boy-friend interested in model railroading than I am finding a girl friend[:(]. I don't know, it's a try?
I love the smell of ALCo smoke in the Morning. "Long live the 251!!!" I miss the GBW and my favorite uncle is Uncle Pete. Uncle Pete eats Space Noodles for breakfast.
  • Member since
    February 2003
  • From: New Zealand
  • 462 posts
Posted by robengland on Thursday, July 22, 2004 7:58 PM
Hey I'm 45 and just returning to the hobby, and my Mum is on my case all the time about the amount of time I 'waste' on trains! Better get used to it :-)
Rob Proud owner of the a website sharing my model railroading experiences, ideas and resources.
  • Member since
    April 2003
  • 305,205 posts
Posted by Anonymous on Friday, July 23, 2004 7:41 PM
QUOTE: Originally posted by tatans

Many parents with children can't realize the difficulty this generation is in with no jobs and its not like it WAS in their generation, hang in there buddy, it does get better, I wonder what your parents would say if you told them you were giving up model railroading and decided to sit in a bar all day, hmmmm.



Better yet, join the Navy and learn a trade. You'll have a roof over your head, food in your belly, a paycheck, and you'll learn a trade for when you get out.

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