Ladies and Trains

[palallin]

I'll keep that in mind.  Thanks!

[jonadel]

palallin,

If you get the chance, take a raincheck on the Durango/Silverton honeymoon BUT don't stay in Silverton---stay in Durango, wonderful town. While you are there swing on down to Chama, NM and do the Cumbres/Toltec and stay in Chama--FABULOUS narrow gauge trip.

Jon

[palallin]

My wife has taken to trains very well.  The vocabulary and the technicalities of model railroading--and railroading in general--still stump her often, but she's game to learn.  It's long been my plan to mix narrow and standard gauge on the family 3 rail layout; she quiclky decided that the narrow gauge intrigued her, and she more or less did a corporate take over of the NG subsidiary.  She's already built one bulding kit.  christmas is easier when you both know what the other wants ;-)

She wanted to do out honeymoon in Silverton, but circumstances nixed the plan.  She wants to start chasing steam and take some excursions.

In any case, she supports my hobby as it's become hers, too.  

[3railguy]

The biggest mistake a model railroader can make is getting married.

[jonadel]

Our layout wouldn't be at where it is today without the support and help of my wife. About 25 years ago we built a layout in our basement but it was basic at best, we ended up selling most of the trains but saved most of the benchwork. About 9 years ago (pre retirement) I decided it was time to pick up the pieces and build another permanent layout, one of the best decisions we have ever made. Sharyl has immersed herself in scenery development and building and she is amazing. I couldn't be more proud and happy.

If I were to hand her the DCS she wouldn't know how to turn it on and she could care less. But yet last Friday night we sat down in the train room with a glass or two of wine and talked and ran trains for two hours, good way for her to end the week!

When we were considering our first York this fall it was Sharyl who kept saying we should go and she was the one who said I should get the Shay after buying the Climax!!!!! What a woman!!!!!

There were many, many years that we couldn't afford to build a layout or buy trains but now that the kids are gone and on their own we do have a few extra $$$ to do what we really enjoy. It didn't happen overnight and it's been worth the wait.

Jon

[GregM]

I guess this thread indicates how unusual (special really) my wife is.  Karen really likes our Lionel trains.  She has a small LGB collection of her own.  Whenever we get real ambitious at Christmas and put up two trees, we put one of her LGB sets under one.  Karen tells me that she asked for a train  set one Christmas while living at home but didn't get it.  She says her father laughed at her when she told him what she wanted.  Of course her younger brother got trains. 

Karen has accompanied me to York three times and we have been to numerous other train shows together.  We were priviledged to visit Bob Bartizek's train layout ( http://www2.go-concepts.com/~raistlin/prrhpb/pennwest.html ) a few years ago.  I am not sure who enjoyed it more. I can't tell you how great it is to be able to share this addiction with her.  Karen prefers steam engines to diesels but if its a train she likes it.

 

[ModelTrainLover]

Hello All!    Modeltrainlover- LOL!  I like what you wrote here Good thing hospitalization is not necessary as it would easily cost more than the hobby itself! Too bad not many women are interested in our hobby. It would be easier to find a Lass to share it with than not. Take Care.

Thanks! I really appreacate it (not that great at spelling..)

[1688torpedo]

Hello All!    Modeltrainlover- LOL!  I like what you wrote here Good thing hospitalization is not necessary as it would easily cost more than the hobby itself! Too bad not many women are interested in our hobby. It would be easier to find a Lass to share it with than not. Take Care.

[dwiemer]

My wife loves my trains on a perifferal sense.  She likes to see them going and loves the enthusiasm I and the kids have.  I don't know that she will want her own set, but she is really looking forward to OUR layout getting done.

I have to watch this though.  One other hobby that I have is high power rifle shooting.  I took her shooting one time and found her skills to be as good, if not better than my own.  This could be a bad thing.

Anyway, it is a blessing that we can do some things that we both thoroughly enjoy, with and without the kids.

Dennis

[ModelTrainLover]

On the negative aspect, some wives seem a bit hostile to their husbands' persuits, whether it be time or money spent on the hobby. In extremes, their concerns might have some validity and it behooves us all to create a harmonious balance.

 

well some times the cause of the hostilities is possible due to this

WARNING!!!!!!

         MAD RAILROAD DISEASE

Highly Contagious To Males Of ALL Ages!!

 

The Symptoms: The afficted becomes confiused and agitated when not near any type of railroad. Will wander around dazed and disoriented, mumbling odd words like: run-bys, coal tipple, and crossovers. Often accused of not listening to wife. At the sight of a railroad, common behavior includes hyperness, sweating, and occasional hooting and hollering. THIS IS NORMAL DO NOT BE ALARMED!!

            This Maddness is NOT fatal.

(exept to people who think trains are gay, stupid, only for small children, and to people who make fun of you at school/work of having this disease)

 

Cure (or something that keeps the infected person at ease)

Hospitalization is NOT NESSARY!! The affected must be surrounded by items of railroad interest. Should be encouraged to spend time sharing ideams other sufferers and Railroad fans. Train chasing and photography shoots will help. Incase of emergency contact your nearest train club or have to affected spend a weekend at local train yard.

 

 

[envfocus]

Cleary everyone agrees that there is no one factor, but until we think of a woman when someone mentions a train engineer it will stay a male dominated profession and hobby.  How many female figurines working the railroad are available through Lionel or others?  I was just looking at my old 1934 Lionel catalog and the title proudly states “The Trains Railroad Men Buy for their Boys”.  I think that this basic sentiment still resides in most families:  that trains are for boys not for girls and therefore, certainly not a profession or hobby for a lady to pursue.  In short, I think BlueberryHill’s (Chuck) example shows that even when a woman likes the hobby, she finds herself in such the minority that unless it’s a burning passion, it will always be a secret.  My wife supports my hobby, but she isn’t really interested in participating.  She’ll happily drop me off at a trade show while she’s free to do other things (which is why I go to fewer and fewer shows!).  Anyway, it would be great and quite interesting to hear from women who are in the hobby or in the railroading profession to get their story.  I think it would be the best way to understand and change the rather daunting hurdle facing women entering this hobby.

[jimhaleyscomet]

Here I go out on a limb....

Men tend to like to build things and to control the environment.  Two very big parts of toy trains.

Women tend to be "maintainers" and seem quite content to let others take the lead. 

Perhaps that is why there are so few in this hobby. 

Jim H

[thor]

Good point Doug about the 'buddy' thing, funny that isn't it? After all my wife is also my buddy but its not really quite the same thing. I too, use their non-productive hours to do my thing. I wait till the TV goes on and I'm off to the work room and I go to sleep and get up earlier than she does, someone has to make the morning tea and coffee that gives me another hour or so if I'm lucky.

My longest friendship with a childhood friend, we're now seperated by the Atlantic but we still talk about trains on my own forum just for that, grew in the first place because we both spent much of our time together 'playing trains'.   My second longest American friendship is with a guy who shares my interest in riding and fixing old motorbikes.

Those two friendships are the best of all, the 'buddy' aspect is very important, you're absolutely right. I don't have a train buddy here in New York, perhaps I wouldnt spend so much time on this and the OGR forums if I did. I wish I did but the dedicated railroaders tend to put me off a bit, I tried clubbing a couple of times but these guys were a bit too serious for me.  I'm working on 'corrupting' my biking buddy but its an uphill slog!   .

[cnw1995]

Is it nature or nurture? Here's my experience: my bride tolerates them - appreciates my enjoyment but is baffled by my interest and sometimes a tad jealous of the time I spent with 'em - that's why I tend to do it while others are asleep. My youngest boy (age 4) loves the trains. Loves to run them. Loves the lights and movement and sound. His older brother is barely interested - even though he has an HO  layout I put together that slides under his bed. He's moved on to electronic games; the oldest, my daughter, is not interested at all - interestingly, her male friends who visit the basement show little interest (but then again, they're never running when they're down there.).

My personal opinion: interest in this hobby depends on the 'buddy factor' ie are there other people kind of like yourself interested in the same thing. They're easier to hang out or interact with. Forums like this helps us 'discover' one another across the country. Yearsa ago, I thought I was the only one interested in such things in my town.

[IRONROOSTER]

I think it mujst be genetic somehow. Just as you don't find many guys doing needlepoint you don't find many gals doing mechanical things especially as a hobby.  It's not ability, since there numerous examples of women exceling at "male" pursuits.  But it just doesn't appeal to most women.

Many years ago my wife expressed a little interest in structures and I promptly bought her Campbell Scale Models' schoolhouse.  Sadly, some 30 years later it still sits unbuilt in the box.  But then she can't get me interested in making jewelry or going to bead and gem shows.  So I guess it evens out.

Enjoy
Paul

[Dr. John]

My wife and older daughter are totally ambivalent about model railroading. My wife does like the Dept. 56 buildings and the Christmas layout I put up, but more as a Christmas tradition than an on-going hobby. My younger daughter used to show some interest, but I suspect that was just a daughter-Daddy thing she enjoyed.

I've belonged to two fairly large railroad clubs and, to my knowledge, there were no female members. Several wives would attend special get-togethers, but none actively involved themselves in building layouts, running trains, etc.

I hold out hope for my future grandchildren!

[dbaker48]

I can certainly agree with everything David has said.  However, I think I have been very fortunate.  My wife is extremely supportive of the trains.  She actually encourages me to purchase this engine or that one, and will recommend various items that would be great to have.  She has yet to demonstrate any desire to run the trains, which is fine.  But does enjoy showing them to people, I guess she would be best categorized as a collector as oppossed to an operator.  Ironically my mother was the same way, we had to have the traditional Christmas train, and she was frequently purchasing various train related items.
As we are starting our new "train room" I hope my wife will become more involved in scenery and other aspects.  I doubt she will become involved in the operation though, she has difficulty with the TV and VCR remotes so I don't see an occassion for DCS or TMCC experience.
Overall, I have been blessed.

[Jumijo]

I've met one or two women who have their own layouts and do so with out a husband or other male as the "leader". They just do it for the same reasons we do. And why not?

My wife is incredibly supportive of our involvement with toy trains. But her participation is limited to being supportive, and going to the occasional train show with us. She has no interest in real or toy trains. She takes the boys to Charles Ro alot, and buys them (and me) plenty. She knows who the "favored" vendors are for certain products. But getting her interested in running trains has not been successful. To be honest, my wife has no hobbies to speak of, other than clothes shopping.

My daughter has been interested in toy trains since she was 3 or 4. She's been very keen on helping me construct the layout and is actually quite good at it. She also likes to operate the controls. She is one of the few girls who actually wants a pink train. I'm working on it, Julia.

Jim

[Blueberryhill RR]

A gal that I went to High School with, is still in touch with me. She has confessed, her fascination for electric trains. She said that she always wanted one, but didn't like the " Pink " one because it didn't look like the real thing. She recently bought a " Polar Express " set and runs it around her Christmas tree. I told her, she should join the Forum. She lives in Houston, Texas.

Chuck

[thor]

I've found exactly the same as you and it beats me because my wife is artistic and creative, likes to hear about whatever it is I'm currently making, even encourages it but also says "I cannot see the fascination with watching a train go round and round or, for that matter, watching them at all! I like the houses and the scenery but the trains themselves? I just don't get it!"

Over the years various female companions have always been chosen for their shared interests, motorcycling, sailing, arts and crafts but not one of them has ever been persuaded to try operating them, even though most were quite happy to watch me doing it.  If there's been ONE common denominator it's "Well thank God its trains not drinking, watching sports or other women!"

I truly believe its at least in part genetic not social conditioning because my daughter and I are very close and she's even handy with tools, as is my wife but despite close proximity to my hobbies from an early age, it didn't catch on.  Asherah our latest little girl, four years old this week, loves playing trains with me but left to her own devices she never does. Dolls and playing house takes priority. Both she and my daughter got as much trains (and motorbike) indoctrination as any kid could ever need to get them interested but it hasn't taken root - yet.

[FJ and G]

This isn't the 1st time this topic has come up but been thinking about what Allan said in another thread about there being some women who are into model railroading, and generally those who are have skill and knowledge often exceeding their male counterparts.

True.

But sadly, it is still pretty much a male dominated hobby. Perhaps it is engrained in the genes or perhaps boys are expected to play with trains and girls dolls. Whatever. But it also remains the case that within the male population, we are still a distinct minority.

I'm going to jump around a bit with random thoughts that have no transitions...

Generally, it is the case that those who like model railroads also like real railroads. I recall in my youth corresponding, via Railroad Magazine addresses, with others from around the country, who wished to trade photos. We would write to each other and trade slides and prints. This took time, compared to today's fast photos in emails method. Again, I cannot recall females being interested in that sort of thing.

In the early 1970s, Trains magazine caused a stir but posing mini-skirted women on tracks and lounging on locomotives in various provacative poses (even on cover shots). That was their "female" contribution to the hobby for several years.

About that time, more and more women began entering the railroad industry and today, they can be seen driving locomotives (about 70-80% of my daily VRE trips are with women engineers; about the same percentage as DC metro subways).

As to model trains, in my experience the only female enthusiasts I've met personally have been involved in the hobby through their husband's interests. Most of these ladies enjoy sharing the hobby such as building structures or doing scenery. I haven't met any who do the mechanical and electrical tinkering, but then again, most guys don't either.

On the negative aspect, some wives seem a bit hostile to their husbands' persuits, whether it be time or money spent on the hobby. In extremes, their concerns might have some validity and it behooves us all to create a harmonious balance.

But the happy couple who share the hobby is always nice to see.

It would be interesting to know other hobbies that seem to be male dominated. Motorcycles came to mind, but then I recall the women who used to like to ride on the back of my Kawasaki 750 in Okinawa. So, I can't really think of any other hobby that is so lopsidedly gender specific.

Anyway, since moving my toy trains outdoors, I've noticed a bit of female interest in the plants I'm cultivating, some of which are edibles. But the females, including my female hound, don't seem too interested in the trains, except for using the tracks as shortcuts to rabbit conventions.

<end of ramble>