i have a horrible story about how my family thinks i am alittle kid because i play with trains at the age of 41. they teased me all day and night to the point i turned the trains off and put them away. does anyone have this problem.
sticks and stones will break by bones but names will never hurt me. Just turn up the sound volume on the trains
model in O. the Western NY and Ontario Railroad
I find people like that to be very ignorant. Do they ever say what a grown man is supposed to do with his time? Or their money? Do they ever express interest in anything besides gossip or making money? Forgive me if I am placing my own past discussions in this thread! :(
I look at the holidays as being a chance to share my interests with others. Just like they would share their winemaking hobby, cooking hobby, singing or sports. I accept that they don't all share the same interest, but don't think of them as lesser friends.
Sounds like they are giving you a pretty rough time. Me, I would do what I want and keep running the trains.
"IT's GOOD TO BE THE KING",by Mel Brooks
Charter Member- Tardis Train Crew (TTC) - Detroit3railers- Detroit Historical society Glancy Modular trains- Charter member BTTS
Get the trains back out and start playing with them again. Show them pictures of Dads and their children playing with trains, and tell them this has been going on for 100 years. Then ask them if they would rather have you spending your time and money in a bar, or chasing women.
I am in my mid 50's, and just had a great day playing with my trains, and just designed another layout for myself.
Don't let the grinches spoil your hobby.
Larry
No!
Tell them that you enjoy your trains, continue to run them and maybe someone will join you, or tell them to eat Taylor Ham (John Taylor Pork Roll)!!!!
http://www.jerseyporkroll.com/what.htmMerry Christmas,
Ralph
Many of us have had to put our trains away for awhile. Some of us have even lost our childhood trains, only to find we were able to regain them, and then some later.
Here's hoping that someday in the future you will have an opportunity to separate from and overcome the situation you find yourself in now!
Sometimes those that we are close to are the ones that know us the least, like family members at Christmas. My teenage daughter hates the trains but did the decorating on the layout for Christmas and the portable layout. Later I asked why and she stated she loves the buildings and little people but does not like the trains. We then made a deal that she can do the buildings and people and I will run the trains.
Founding member of the All Aboard Fastrackers! See us at: www.allaboardfastrackers.com
As above basically stated sometimes it just you need to find a way to incorporate them into helping with the setup/design of the layout as it may just be they feel there being left out of your life that your not including them in something and feel there being rejected.
Life's hard, even harder if your stupid John Wayne
http://rtssite.shutterfly.com/
So, an adult enjoying a fun, harmless hobby is the one acting like a little kid? But, the other adults "teasing" you aren't acting like little kids? That seems very odd.
As others have said, just ignore them and enjoy your trains. As long as our hobby (no matter what the hobby is) doesn't harm anyone or cause us to neglect our faith, family, or job, then you have nothing to be ashamed about.
Merry Christmas,
Joe
I must say, that is a horrible story. When you say your "family", who are we talking about? Your parents? Your children? Your siblings?
First of all, if you actually played with trains as a kid, then why would your family members tease you as an adult? That has been an adult pasttime for probably 100 years or more.
Second of all, teasing you "all day and night"? What is with them?
I could maybe see a little momentary teasing is you were laying on the floor with your head on the floor like my 2-year old grandson pulling a little Fisher Price plastic toy car around, but that is not what we are talking about here.
My main suggestion is to simply not run the trains in their presence, but if the trains are on display, leave them there to be viewed. I am sure that it looks cool.
In my family, the only one who even remotely questions my hobby is my son-in-law. He doesn't tease me because I would break his neck (LOL), but I can tell that he thinks it is immature. So, I never operate the trains in his presence. But, guess what? My 2-year old grandson is totally fascinated by my layout, so his Dad (my son-in-law) loves to take him down to the layout.
What I find amusing about my son-in-law is his hobbies: Fantasy Golf, Fantasy Football, an indoor putting green. My other son-in-law has every version of Call of Duty on his computer.
I think that the biggest problem you face is the "day and night" frequency of the teasing. Just don't run the trains in their presence.
Rich
Alton Junction
Its a hobby, seems like some folks have a hard time accepting the fact that building an electric train layout and operating trains is no different than building and operating RC race cars or airplanes. No different than photography, fishing, hunting, collecting stamps & coins, or chasing a little white ball around a couple hundred acres.
Bill T.
Seayakbill Its a hobby, seems like some folks have a hard time accepting the fact that building an electric train layout and operating trains is no different than building and operating RC race cars or airplanes. No different than photography, fishing, hunting, collecting stamps & coins, or chasing a little white ball around a couple hundred acres.
Hey, wait a minute!
Are you teasing me now???
C'mon, Jeff. You da big dog! Put a dead bolt on the inside of your train room door and tell your family to BACK OFF!!
Pete
"You can’t study the darkness by flooding it with light." - Edward Abbey -
bigdogjeff i have a horrible story about how my family thinks i am alittle kid because i play with trains at the age of 41. they teased me all day and night to the point i turned the trains off and put them away. does anyone have this problem.
Making a mountain over a molehill tells you it's they who have a problem as far as being juvenile. It's their problem, not yours unless you chose to own it by taking arrogant pettiness to heart. They sound like an unhappy bunch..and if it wasn't the trans it would have been something else they could feel superior about..My mother in law at one time started to rag on me about the trains, and I told her in the nicest way possible it was none of her *** business, and it was never brought up again.
Nothing is more fairly distributed than common sense: no one thinks he needs more of it than he already has.
It's a little unclear about what "family" you're talking about. Your parents and siblings? Your wife and kids?In either case, if you let other people dictate to you what your hobbies can be, then the problem is twofold: theirs for being so immature and yours for letting other people dictate your personal preferences. You can't do much about problem number one, but you have full control over problem number two. Use it.
Here is an interesting comment that pertains to this situation:
Mat 18:2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,
Mat 18:3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
My Biggest advice is just dont let it get to you. when they tell you to put away the trains, you just add another loop. Tell them its what YOU do as opposed to sitting around on a computer all day something or the sort. Call me crazy, but I find spendind hours watching a bunch of men fight over a ball (dont get me wrong, I love football) just as, if not more immature then admiring an important part of American history. I get alot of flack for being into model trains. My Paretns and Grandparents were always supportive, but my extended family always had a hatrid for it thinking I was "chldish". High School is also not a safe place to admit you have a model railroad at home, but the best response is to not listen to them and stop your hobby, but to but to stand up to them, tell them you dont care what they think keep going even stronger.
"No childhood should be without a train!"
Ya know what, I've found that when somebody teases somebody else for something like what you experienced the ones doing the teasing are simply jealous. Of what or why who can say. Invite them to operate the trains with you, if they decline, just simply ignore them and enjoy your own activities. One way to disarm the teasing is to laugh with them and make your own jokes.
Dr. Frankendiesel aka Scott Running BearSpace Mouse for president!15 year veteran fire fighterCollector of Apple //e'sRunning Bear EnterprisesHistory Channel Club life member.beatus homo qui invenit sapientiam
balidas Ya know what, I've found that when somebody teases somebody else for something like what you experienced the ones doing the teasing are simply jealous. Of what or why who can say. Invite them to operate the trains with you, if they decline, just simply ignore them and enjoy your own activities. One way to disarm the teasing is to laugh with them and make your own jokes.
Big Dog.......
I like this answer from Balidas.
I don't feel a compelling need to be "validated" by my family and friends for my interests, hobbies, and actions, as long as they are not harmful to others. Nor do I choose the confrontational or the defensive position. I like what I like.
There is nothing to be gained arguing the point, so I choose the high road.....with a huge smile on my face.
Yes, I admit I do get a pleasurable kick out of the consternation from some over my passion for toy trains. The trains have been in my heart pushing 6 decades and will remain there. They see I am well-grounded in my past with the trains, in a good way. That is all I need to know.
I have gone through these types of "discussions" over the decades regarding my choice and color of automobiles, raising kids (and now helping with the grandkids), marital choices, business decisions, health decisions, educational decisions, and the list goes on. When the smoke clears, I am still standing and moving forward, comfortable within myself and having offended no one in the process by getting into a chidish exchange where no one wins.
Would you rather win? Or would you rather be right? There is quite the difference between the two. I'd rather win.
Sooner or later the rest follow because on balance my choices have made me happy. That happiness has placed me in a better position to bring rhyme, reason, and contentment to others. It has been no different with my trains. My wife, family, and friends eventually fall in line and follow, either through acceptance or through actual participation. And while they may choose to not share my hobby interest, they can't deny the result. Traditions sell. Christmas traditions endure.
I finally have my family capitulating. My son, daughter, and son-in-law are finally collaborating and buying me a toy train piece each Christmas. They see their Christmas present endure, run every year on the Christmas layout. Their present is showcased. "Grampy is nuts! But he sure does like my present!!!! So does everyone else!!! " And I am winning.
Even my wife this morning got on my case to straighten out the mess under the tree from the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day chaos and get the trains back in action. Why? She loves to see the excitement on the granddaughters' little faces and the fun they have playing with Grampy and the toy trains every time they come over. And she knows what is coming in a few days.
New Years Eve is at our place, beginning at 6PM for a buffet-type dinner, as is our tradition. And the sight, smell, and sounds of the mostly vintage toy trains running under the tree will once again suck in even the naysayers!!!! I may have to bring some folding chairs up from the basement this year.
Jack
IF IT WON'T COME LOOSE BY TAPPING ON IT, DON'T TRY TO FORCE IT. USE A BIGGER HAMMER.
hi guys i am so glad i can vent my problem with you guys it was great comment that really cheered me up on this holiday. Let me tell you this also my father and mother and brothers i grew up with trains live across America from me, when i say family that think this way about trains i meant my wife's family but is the closes family i have during these holidays and they are very strange when it comes to trains. i will never stop loving my trains I just will not share the joy of trains with the hatters of this great hobby.
Hey, bigdogjeff, look at it this way.
Your wife's family are your in-laws.
Need I say more?
You could compare trains with golf or skiing or some other "approved" hobby. Now about golf, I have two nephews that are professional grade golfers. If they shoot a round of 72, it is a bad day. The regularly shoot below par. This is one of the reasons I don't play golf. I have no talent for the game, and could never get good at it no matter what. So why bother. I enjoy trains, hot rods, engineering, and a few other things. Hot rods have been an issue with people around me for 55 years because of the "dirty T shirt" appearance. Working on cars is usually somewhat messy, so people object. However, when their cars breakdown, who do they call?
Golf costs more than trains, and there is very little ROI. Trains, on the other hand, teach people valuable skills. When I was a kid, I learned a lot about mechanical things and electricity from the trains. This interest in trains became a degree in electrical engineering which I have found to be very useful.
Servoguy, I am both a model train guy and a golfer.
I know exactly what you mean about your nephews.
Sounds like that son-in-law of mine who does not understand my love of trains.
He is a 3-handicap and I am a 24-handicap.
I am like you, yet I play golf in spite of those two reasons. I have no talent for the game, and could never get good at it no matter what. So why do I bother? LOL
RIch
The love for trains is either a 1 or a 0. You cannot explain your love of trains to someone who is a 0. And you don't need to explain your love of trains to someone who is a 1.
"No other product of man's mind has ever exercised such a compelling hold upon the public's imagination as the steam locomotive. No other machine in its day has been a more faithful friend to mankind, nor has contributed more to the growth of industry in this, the land of its birth and indeed throughout the whole world. Those who have lived in the steam age of railways will carry the most nostalgic memories right to the end.." The words of R F Hanks, Chairman of the Western Area Board of British Railways at a ceremony in Swindon Works on 18th March 1960, marking the end of steam locomotive construction in the UK with the completion and naming of 9F 2-10-0 No 92220 "Evening Star".
From : http://www.5at.co.uk/
Steam engines ruled the rails for 150 years, from Richard Trevethick's first loco until the Garratts stopped running in Africa. Can any other machines of the industrial revolution make that claim?
bigdogjeff - Now that you've named the source of your torment, rest assured...it's not the trains they dislike...
In your example, I would reach out to those that would embrace your hobby---> the little kids. Find out what their interests are, and odds are, you can mate up the appropriate freight car to them. Then the tumblers will fall into place.
Huh? Wife/wifey's family? What you are getting from them is called group abuse & victimization and I'm sure it is not limited just to toy trains.
Several responses are possible at this point;
1) You don't tell us if you are the main wage earner in the home. If you are, you can remind your loving family that you pay the house payment, utilities, taxes etc which makes their standard of living possible. Then inform them that if the trains bother them that much, they are free to live elsewhere. You will be glad to wave as they ride off into the sunset.
2) If you are a "little kid" then so are Rod Stewart, Neil Young, The Late Frank Sinatra and the late Tom Synder.All of them pursued toy or model trains in one form or another. All of those men were great success stories in the feild of entertainment. I suspect none of your critics have attained that level of success have they?
3) You should not try to live someone else's life that they have laid out for you. If you do, you will wake up an old man wondering where it all went.
George
You can add Nat King Cole and pro quarterback Gus Ferrotte to that list also.
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