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You Know You're too much into Trains When....

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You know you're too much into trains when... ...you have read every word on the steam vs. diesel thread ...you've lubricated journals, used a link and pin coupler, and blown down a hydrostatic lubricator, but are a software salesman born in 1977 ...it takes three AC-12's running outside to pull you away from the RS-3 on your computer screen ...the bumper sticker that says "My other car is a UP SD9" is true ...you put on a hymn CD when you look at pictures of WM 2-10-0's ...you listen to steam recordings when in church ...you can quote Scripture as saying that the Big Cheese is a railfan ...you think that being in the cab of a big steamer when it's 113 degrees out would be fun ...you tried it, and it was fun ...as a steam freak, you think, "Why could anybody not like steam?" ...as a diesel freak, you think, "Why could could anybody like steam?" ...as a traction freak, you think "Can't we all just get along?" ...you have traced out, and thoroughly understand, the motions of the K, AB, ABD, and ABX triple valves in all positions ...you made a hangglider so that you could chase trains more effectively ...your car is black with green interior, with all controls painted red ...your other car is yellow with grey interior, and all controls moving in a horizontal arc ...you installed a brake stand cutout **** for use as a footrest ...you are slapped for simply describing your repairs to feedwater delivery mechanisms on a steamer, and the valves associated with them ...you can tell the D&RGW 487 from the 488 by listening to the air compressor ...you could be blindfolded, bound and gagged, beaten, and tied to the tracks, and wonder on what railroad you were put ...your attempts to use a handbrake wheel as a frisby didn't work so well ...the forum fires you take part in could fire a Big Boy for a year ...you think that global warming will increase a locomotive's thermal efficiency ...you are a model railroader, even if your Lionel 4-4-2 last came out of the box at Christmas ...you built a roundhouse around your record player's turntable ...you are guilty of some of these Sincerely, Daniel Parks
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