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The new and (not very) improved humor thread

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Posted by CShaveRR on Wednesday, May 27, 2009 4:51 PM
I'll tell one on myself, then, Larry:

My first eastbound trip on the Galena Division (now the Geneva Sub) was on Train 142, which we caught at Clinton and brought back to Proviso. It was still daytime when we departed, but quickly became dark. I remember seeing the glow from both the furnaces and the steam locomotives at Northwestern Steel & Wire in Sterling.

Anyway, I was still kind of gung-ho, and more than willing to do my job in the cab--basically calling the signals. Trouble is, I had no knowledge of where I was or what I was looking at. That, and being a little drowsy... I caught myself waking up and seeing what I thought was a bluish-green light. "Clear!", I called out.

"Uh...I think that's a street light!"

"Oh. Well, the street looks clear, too."

He enjoyed that.

Carl

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Posted by tree68 on Wednesday, May 27, 2009 4:34 PM

And a quick true story:

We have a couple of "slow order" bridges on our regular route - more so the passengers can enjoy the view than anything else, but I digress.

Usually practice is to let the engineer know that the last car is clear of the bridge, even though most know exactly where that is.

My student conductor was busy reviewing the timetable in his quest to better know the territory as we approached the largest trestle, and I was discussing that with him.  Noting where we were, I rose and started to the rear of the train, informing him that I was going back to "call the bridge." 

Apparently he misunderstood me, or maybe some of his youthful enthusiasm (of which he sometimes has too much) kicked in, for he immediately keyed his radio and announced that we were "clear of the bridge." 

The engineer, clearly knowing that we weren't even there yet, came back with "what bridge?"

I did go to where I could see to make the call, and made the call at the appropriate time - "Now we're clear of the bridge..."

The student conductor will be a long time living that one down.

LarryWhistling
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Posted by tree68 on Wednesday, May 27, 2009 10:20 AM

Here's an Eighth Grade Final Exam from Salina, KS from 1895.  Let's see how well you can do.  Evil

(For some background on the source, visit the linked page)

8th Grade Final Exam: Salina, Kansas - 1895

This is the eighth-grade final exam* from 1895 from Salina, Kansas. It was taken
from the original document on file at the Smoky Valley Genealogical Society
and Library in Salina, Kansas and reprinted by the Salina Journal.

Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of Capital Letters.
2. Name the Parts of Speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define Verse, Stanza and Paragraph.
4. What are the Principal Parts of a verb? Give Principal Parts of do, lie, lay and run.
5. Define Case, Illustrate each Case.
6. What is Punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of Punctuation.
7-10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (Time, 1.25 hours)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts. per bu, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?
4. District No. 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $.20 per inch?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance around which is 640 rods?
10.Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.

U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, and 1865?

Orthography (Time, one hour)
1. What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic orthography, etymology, syllabication?
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: Trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals?
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'.
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e'. Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: Bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, super.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: Card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences, Cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10.Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.

Geography (Time, one hour)
1. What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of N.A.
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fermandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.
7. Name all the republics of Europe and give capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10.Describe the movements of the earth. Give inclination of the earth.

LarryWhistling
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Posted by Deggesty on Tuesday, May 26, 2009 9:51 PM

Very nice, Kootenay Central! Smile Apparently this young man was willing to learn from the crews who had been working for the railroad since before he was born.

Johnny

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Posted by Kootenay Central on Tuesday, May 26, 2009 9:21 PM

.


 

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Posted by CShaveRR on Monday, May 18, 2009 8:52 PM
I have one from the real world, too--something we saw on vacation earlier this month.

First, one of those electronic billboards with changing messages: One message was a prominent quote from Scripture: "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved." (similar sentiments, if that wasn't the correct verse).

The following billboard was from a wireless company:

"Search for something better!"

Carl

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CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM)

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Posted by Murphy Siding on Monday, May 18, 2009 8:47 PM

     From the real world:

     My son works for the call center in a hospital.  He takes after hours calls from people wishing to have a call back from the doctor on call.

Caller: I'm pregnant, and very nauseous.   I think I'm going to .....

(Loud wretching sounds).......

(A really small voice):  Honey?.......I think I got some on the dog.

Thanks to Chris / CopCarSS for my avatar.

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Posted by trainfan1221 on Monday, May 18, 2009 8:31 PM

I like it! 

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Posted by cherokee woman on Monday, May 18, 2009 4:27 PM

 An "Oldie but Goldie"........

Wooo! Wooo!

 

There were two Indians and a Cowboy walking along together in the desert when, all of a sudden, one of the Indians took off and ran up a steep hill to the mouth of a cave. 

He stopped and hollered into the entrance, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" 

He then listened very closely until he heard an answer..."Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!"

He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. 

The Cowboy was puzzled and asked the other Indian what that was all about ... was that Indian goofy or something?

"No", said the other Indian. "It is mating time for us Indians and when you see a cave and holler, `Woooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!' and get an answer back, that means she is in there waiting for you."

Well, just about that time the other Indian spotted another cave. He took off, ran to the cave, stopped and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" 

When he heard a reply "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" off came his clothes and into the cave he goes.

The Cowboy started running around the desert looking for a cave to find these women that the Indians had talked about. 

Suddenly, he looked up and saw this great big cave. He was amazed at the size and thought, "Man! It's bigger than the caves those Indians found. There must be something special in this cave!"

Well, he darted up the hill at great speed with hopes of ecstasy and grandure. He got in front of the cave and yelled, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" 

He was thrilled when he heard the answering call of
"WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOO!"

He quickly took off his clothes. With a happy face he raced into the cave. 

The headlines in the next day's newspaper stated:

NAKED COWBOY RUN OVER BY FREIGHT TRAIN!

Angel cherokee woman "O'Toole's law: Murphy was an optimist."
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Posted by Deggesty on Friday, May 8, 2009 4:14 PM

CShaveRR
This is LaGrange, Illinois, where the BN crossed the IHB. When I used to print out narratives for my area train-watching trips, I wrote the following about this (be thankful you didn't take your trip thirty-some years ago, Johnny!):

Carl is referring to a trip which my wife I and took this spring, leaving Salt Lake City on the westbound CZ on 3-28, and leaving Chicago, returning home, 4-24. Yes, I am glad that there was nothing even approaching what is seen in the picture. Indeed, in all of my rail travels, a derailment has affected my travel only twice--both times on the Southern's Knoxville division--and the trains I was riding were detoured (adding new route mileage, some of which I never again rode). The first one was in Riceville, Tenn., in 1957, and my train was detoured over the CNO&TP from Chattanooga to Oakdale, and then into Knoxville. The second derailment was at Bluff City, Tenn., in 1958, and we were detoured over the Clinchfield from Johnson City to Frisco, where we took the Southern first through Moccasin Gap into Gate City where the engine was put back on the head end (the interchange in Johnson City made it necessary to run the engine around the train), and then on to Bristol.

Johnny

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Posted by Paul_D_North_Jr on Friday, May 8, 2009 2:13 PM

Carl - Thank you !  Thumbs Up  for the supplemental information.  I can see where it was a girder bridge - they're just generally not quite as susceptible to that kind of collapse from derailments.  Not immune - just not usually as vulnerable.

Mischief  Can you imagine the response to the following inquiry from "the wife", when any of the many involved railroaders - train crews, wreck crews, B&B gangs, track gangs, C&S people, operating and engineering officials, etc., etc. finally made it home - either much later that day, or after several continuous days, more likely:

"How was your day, honey ?" Kisses

How would you respond ?  What can you say ?  Confused  Who would believe that chain of events ?  Whistling

Certainly an object lesson in why trains should be inspected as often as possible, and any emergency application of the brakes should trigger notifying any other trains in the vicinity.

Thanks again.

- Paul North.

"This Fascinating Railroad Business" (title of 1943 book by Robert Selph Henry of the AAR)
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Posted by CShaveRR on Friday, May 8, 2009 12:44 PM
I recognize that derailment site!

This is LaGrange, Illinois, where the BN crossed the IHB. When I used to print out narratives for my area train-watching trips, I wrote the following about this (be thankful you didn't take your trip thirty-some years ago, Johnny!):

This bridge was the site of one of the more catastrophic train wrecks in the western suburbs in recent times. On August 27, 1977, a defective freight car caused an eastbound BN freight to derail, blocking all three tracks. Amtrak's westbound San Francisco Zephyr was too close to avoid running into the wreckage, and was consequently derailed as well (there were numerous injuries, some serious, but no deaths). The biggest pileup was right on the IHB bridge--naturally the bridge collapsed, blocking the IHB for a time as well.

I remember seeing the flange marks in the ties and at least two grade crossings to the west of the bridge, so the errant freight car was derailed going through the downtown.

The photograph was taken looking north on the IHB; you can see the piers of the bridge that normally carries BNSF over the IHB. At the extreme left of the bridge is a single-lane street. Paul, this wasn't a truss bridge; it was (and is) a rather mundane girder bridge.

Carl

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CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM)

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Posted by Deggesty on Friday, May 8, 2009 11:50 AM

Paul_D_North_Jr

 Link to humorous "framed" photo (of the "Despair, Inc. / Demotivation" style) of a HUGE pile-up type derailment, most likely on the Burlington Northern, labled as "EPIC FAIL":

http://media.photobucket.com/image/fail/frosteees/fail.jpg?o=20

I observe a stone bridge pier to the left of the mainline tracks in the foreground, and a similar stone bridge abutment to the left.  Looking at it carefully, I see what appears to be the remains of a black steel truss bridge above and in between several of the cars - i.e., on top of the stone pier to the left of the main, below the green BN covered hopper, above the yellow BN refrigerator car or box, and to the left of the 2 crumpled silver cars (also BN reefers ?).  So I'm thinking this is the derailment in the Chicago area from like 10 or 15 years ago, when something knocked down a truss bridge as a train was going across it ?

Anyway, quite the dramatic photo, don't you agree ?

- Paul North.

That took talent, didn't it? Big Smile

Johnny

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Posted by Paul_D_North_Jr on Friday, May 8, 2009 10:14 AM

 Link to humorous "framed" photo (of the "Despair, Inc. / Demotivation" style) of a HUGE pile-up type derailment, most likely on the Burlington Northern, labled as "EPIC FAIL":

http://media.photobucket.com/image/fail/frosteees/fail.jpg?o=20

I observe a stone bridge pier to the left of the mainline tracks in the foreground, and a similar stone bridge abutment to the left.  Looking at it carefully, I see what appears to be the remains of a black steel truss bridge above and in between several of the cars - i.e., on top of the stone pier to the left of the main, below the green BN covered hopper, above the yellow BN refrigerator car or box, and to the left of the 2 crumpled silver cars (also BN reefers ?).  So I'm thinking this is the derailment in the Chicago area from like 10 or 15 years ago, when something knocked down a truss bridge as a train was going across it ?

Anyway, quite the dramatic photo, don't you agree ?

- Paul North.

"This Fascinating Railroad Business" (title of 1943 book by Robert Selph Henry of the AAR)
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Posted by bubbajustin on Wednesday, May 6, 2009 3:53 PM
spokyone

locomutt


Q. What is the definition of a fixed signal?


A Mexican man that had a vascectomy.
Oh. I thought you asked "A fixed Senor"
HA HA HA HA HA HA! Halarious1

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Posted by locomutt on Wednesday, May 6, 2009 3:44 PM

spokyone

locomutt


Q. What is the definition of a fixed signal?


A Mexican man that had a vascectomy.
Oh. I thought you asked "A fixed Senor"

 

LaughLaugh 

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by spokyone on Wednesday, May 6, 2009 2:15 PM

locomutt


Q. What is the definition of a fixed signal?


A Mexican man that had a vascectomy.
Oh. I thought you asked "A fixed Senor"

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Posted by locomutt on Wednesday, May 6, 2009 1:45 PM

 
Q. What is the definition of a fixed signal?

A. A cub brakeman on a windy night, on top of a boxcar, with a cigarette in his mouth, a cinder in his eye and his lantern out.

Being Crazy,keeps you from going "INSANE" !! "The light at the end of the tunnel,has been turned off due to budget cuts" NOT AFRAID A Vet., and PROUD OF IT!!

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Posted by ericsp on Sunday, May 3, 2009 1:39 AM

If you put a container in a Thrall container car, is it enthralled?

Is flew the correct term for a dead fly? 

"No soup for you!" - Yev Kassem (from Seinfeld)

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Posted by CANADIANPACIFIC2816 on Saturday, May 2, 2009 2:38 PM

Three men from Texas were sitting together one day, bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. All of the women were hearty stock from the upper midwest.

The first man had married a woman from Des Moines, Iowa had had told her that she was going to have to do the dishes and the house cleaning. It took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and the dishes washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Chicago. He had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a gal from International Falls, Minnesota. He told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little bit out of his left eye, enough to fix himself a sandwhich and load the dishwasher.

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Posted by spokyone on Saturday, May 2, 2009 12:50 PM

A burglar broke into a house one night.  He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus is watching you.'  He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.  When he heard nothing more, afer a bit, he shook his head and continued.  Just as he pulled the plasma TV out so he could disconnect it, clear as a bell, he heard,  'Jesus is watching you."

   Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.  Finally, in the corner of the room the light beam came to rest on a parrot.  'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Jesus really IS watching you, said the parrot..'

   The burglar relaxed. 'So you are warning me, huh?  Who in the world are you?'
  
 'Moses', replied the bird.
 'Moses?' the burglar laughed.  What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
  
Replied the parrot, 'The same kind of people who would name a Pit Bull Jesus.' 

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Posted by Deggesty on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 5:41 PM

Mookie's question about flat wheels on locomotives reminded me of the engineer who was a little unwise in his use of the independent brake, and ground flat spots on all his engine's wheels. He was, of course, called in to give an account of his misdeed. His response to the question as to how long he thought the flats on the drivers were was, "About a dollar." The man who was interrogating him responded, "A dollar?! They are six inches long!" The engineer then said, "You didn't let me finish; I was going to say a dollar bill."

Johnny

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Posted by Deggesty on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:01 PM

tree68
INTRODUCING THE NEW BIO-OPTIC ORGANIZED KNOWLEDGE DEVICE, TRADE NAMED “BOOK”
BOOK  is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology.  No wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on.  Only an external light source is needed.  Any lamp, normal daylight, or evan a flashlight will suffice.  BOOK is so easy to use, even a child can operate it.
Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere – even sitting in an armchair by the fire or on the deck next to the pool – yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.  Here’s how it works:
BOOK  is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information.
The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.  Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows the manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs.  Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density;  for now, BOOKs with more information simply use more pages.
Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain.  A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.  BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.  BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though like other display devices it can become unusable if dropped overboard.  The “browse” feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish.  Many come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact play you left it in a previous session – even if BOOK has been closed.  BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.  Conversely, numerous BOOKmarks can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once.  The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.
You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional programming tools – the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS) or the Permanent Encryption Nib Stylus (PENS). 
Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave.  Also, BOOK’s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking as well.  Look for a flood of new titles soon!

 

Excellent! Perhaps sales may escalate into the millions?

Johnny

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Posted by bubbajustin on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 3:16 PM

There is older man that walk into a dinner.He is from one of the southern states, so he hase that southern draw. An older lady is sitting behind him eating a burger and fries. She starts to choke, and the dinner staff are like "oh no what do we do?" The older southern man lifts up her skirt and licks her butt.Dead She coughs up the food and slaps the guy in the face and says "how dare you!!!" He said "but mam, I was just doin' the hind-lick manuver!"

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Posted by tree68 on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 12:16 PM

INTRODUCING THE NEW BIO-OPTIC ORGANIZED KNOWLEDGE DEVICE, TRADE NAMED “BOOK”

BOOK  is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology.  No wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on.  Only an external light source is needed.  Any lamp, normal daylight, or evan a flashlight will suffice.  BOOK is so easy to use, even a child can operate it.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere – even sitting in an armchair by the fire or on the deck next to the pool – yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.  Here’s how it works:

BOOK  is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information.

The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.  Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows the manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs.  Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density;  for now, BOOKs with more information simply use more pages.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain.  A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.  BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.  BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though like other display devices it can become unusable if dropped overboard.  The “browse” feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish.  Many come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact play you left it in a previous session – even if BOOK has been closed.  BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.  Conversely, numerous BOOKmarks can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once.  The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional programming tools – the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS) or the Permanent Encryption Nib Stylus (PENS). 

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave.  Also, BOOK’s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking as well.  Look for a flood of new titles soon!

 

LarryWhistling
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Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you
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Posted by tree68 on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 11:39 AM

The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation.  It concerns transit (bus and trolley) companies.  This was serious and was written for male supervisors of women in the work force during WWII.  For those of you with efficiency issues, pay attention to #8.

 

Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees

There’s no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men.  The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point.  The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.  Here are eleven helpful tips o the subject from Western Properties.

1.         Pick young married women.  They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2.        When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in the lives.  Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy.  It’s well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3.        General experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who just a a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4.        Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions.  This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of a lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5.        Stress at the outset the importance of time – the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules.  Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6.        Give the female employee a  definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes.  Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have the jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7.        Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day.  Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8.        Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day.  You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology.  A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and was her hands several times a day.

9.        Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms.  Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do.  Never ridicule a woman – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10.     Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women.  Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11.     Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit.  This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

 

LarryWhistling
Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) 
Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you
My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date
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There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it...

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Posted by tree68 on Wednesday, April 15, 2009 9:42 AM

TWENTY-FIVE THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED..

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It ain't the jeans that make your derriere look fat.

LarryWhistling
Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) 
Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you
My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date
Come ride the rails with me!
There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it...

  • Member since
    July 2004
  • 455 posts
Posted by aricat on Friday, April 10, 2009 9:57 AM

But Minnesota public schools will still start on time!!!

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Posted by Paul_D_North_Jr on Thursday, April 9, 2009 3:51 PM

Thumbs Up   Laugh

For those of you who like wildlife - here's a link to a short and funny video from the USGS Northern Divide Grizzly Bear Project, taken by a "critter cam" = controlled by motion detecting sensor.  My daughter forwarded it to me as she received it under the intriguing (but misleading) caption of "poledancer".  This bear is better than most people - don't worry, it's not offensive in any way.  The version she sent to me had a disco music track, but I don't know how to post a link to that one here (yet).  Anyway, enjoy !

http://www.nrmsc.usgs.gov/research/video/Kendall_RTgrizrub2006 

Video: Grizzly bear at rub tree

Video Description: Grizzly bear vigorously rubbing on a tree regularly used by other bears in Glacier National Park.

USGS Northern Divide Bear Project

Remote video by J.Stetz / A.Macleod. August 12, 2006.

Length: 33 seconds, File Size: 589 KB. Clip: RB03v

If you roam around this site - http://www.nrmsc.usgs.gov/research/KendallRemoteCamera.htm - there seem to be several other videos of like kind - including a bear taking a swipe at the camera, and even one of the elusive wolverine walking past a "bear hair trap" ! at: http://www.nrmsc.usgs.gov/research/video/Kendall_HT2005wolverine 

- Paul North.

"This Fascinating Railroad Business" (title of 1943 book by Robert Selph Henry of the AAR)
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Posted by egmurphy on Saturday, March 28, 2009 9:53 PM

As folks get older, they begin to take more naps and take up
bird watching ---- kinda like turning into cats.

The Rail Images Page of Ed Murphy "If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion and avoid the people, you might better stay home." - James Michener

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