BtrainBob Alan Sherman on a more railroad themed song. https://youtu.be/almHNoCGiYc
Alan Sherman on a more railroad themed song.
https://youtu.be/almHNoCGiYc
Alan Sherman on a more railroad themed song. https://youtu.be/almHNoCGiYc
I have an uncle who winters somewhere in southern Kansas. He said it's flatter than a pancake there. He has camper with a little covered deck on it set up on his little piece of ground. One night during an intense storm, his dog needed to go out, so my uncle got out of bed and opened the door for the dog. The dog ran across the deck and jumped off the edge like he always did. When he did, he made a big splash into the water. My uncle turned on the outside lights to find out that the river that had been a half mile away that morning was now a foot deep around his camper.
Thanks to Chris / CopCarSS for my avatar.
Sam, your wet story reminds me of something my late father-in-law would say: "When you're up to your kiester in alligators, it's too late to think you should have drained the swamp."
Murphy Siding wrote the following post[in part] [snipped] "...Because of some cord being too short, my computer has always sat on top of an 8 inch cinder block. It’s hidden under a counter so it’s not really visible to the public. While I was at lunch yesterday the guy with the 2x8 lumber came around and raised up all our computers. Mine now has a piece of 2x8 between the cinder block and the computer. The other guys have to worry about the water getting more than 1-1/2” deep. Not me, I can hold out until the water is 9-1/2” deep..."
Floods are something that usually does not happen oit here in the South of Kansas...In the last 6 weeks or so we have had what amounts to 'our monsoon season' a 7" + rain folled int the next few days by about 4" or so. then another 7"+ rain within a couple of days....A comment from a local down by the Co-OP said "...WE haven't had , that much rain in the 35 years, I've lived here" Since there was no need the City has let the brush grow up in the little draw that flows through town...THe culvert under BNSF has been altered by havinf the Railroad shove galvanized large diameter piple through its passages, and the flood washed a bunch of portable anhydrous tanks into the holes..the result was water back up in middle of town to about 4' deep...Flooded several homes and offices, and the second one got the PODS that were being used to store the salvaged stuff from the first floods.
Believe me, Norris...You'd have gotten new office furniture, and a new computer! OH, Yeah! The city Council is studying what to do,incase they get another flood.
A WPA foreman is overseeing a road construction project in the southwest, leaning on his shovel in typical fashion, when a snake bites him in the ankle. He exclaims, "Why you son of a gun, if I had another shovel, I'd cut your head off!"
Over the weekend a pipe broke at our general office in a town 7 miles away, causing a big mess and some clean-up expenses. There was about an inch of water on the floor when the break was discovered. None of the computers there were damaged, but our head bookkeeper noticed that some of their computer towers were sitting on the floor. In a paranoid panic, Mr. Bookkeeper had someone at each of our locations cut some pieces of 2x8 lumber to put under all the company computers. Because of some cord being too short, my computer has always sat on top of an 8 inch cinder block. It’s hidden under a counter so it’s not really visible to the public. While I was at lunch yesterday the guy with the 2x8 lumber came around and raised up all our computers. Mine now has a piece of 2x8 between the cinder block and the computer. The other guys have to worry about the water getting more than 1-1/2” deep. Not me, I can hold out until the water is 9-1/2” deep.
All day I face the barren waste without the taste of liverwurst (except today).
Wife says she will probably vote for the candidate who has the best hairdo the night before the election !!!
Had this sent to me recently;
Here is a guy reporting to the police that his wife is missing:
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home...
Sergeant: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
Sergeant: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.
Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?
Husband: A 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission and climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, which has a matching aftermarket bed liner. Custom leather 6-way seats and "Bubba" floor mats. Trail-ring package with gold hitch and special wiring hook-ups. DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio receiver, 23-channel CB radio, six cup holders, a USB port, and four power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. It has custom running boards and indirect wheel well lighting.........
At this point the husband started choking up.. . . .
Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your truck.
CShaveRRSam, I'm a little skeptical of that post about the gunpowder on one's oatmeal. Not sure I could do it, unless I had an offer I couldn't re-fuse.
There have been a few reports in the fire trade press involving folks who provided just a little bit too much fuel at the crematorium, requiring a fire department response....
Larry Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date Come ride the rails with me! There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it...
Sign out front of an independent auto repair garage along PA SR 715, about 5 mi. N. of Brodheadsville:
"We fix cars good. Some cars we fix real good !"
- Paul North.
CShaveRR Sam, I'm a little skeptical of that post about the gunpowder on one's oatmeal. Not sure I could do it, unless I had an offer I couldn't re-fuse.However, I probably wouldn't mind if my pockets were stuffed with M-80s and other assorted devices before I entered the crematorium.And all of that, of course, would be after a closed-casket ceremony in which the organist had been instructed to play "Pop Goes the Weasel" at the appropriate time.
Sam, I'm a little skeptical of that post about the gunpowder on one's oatmeal. Not sure I could do it, unless I had an offer I couldn't re-fuse.However, I probably wouldn't mind if my pockets were stuffed with M-80s and other assorted devices before I entered the crematorium.And all of that, of course, would be after a closed-casket ceremony in which the organist had been instructed to play "Pop Goes the Weasel" at the appropriate time.
Too Funny, [ ROFL, etc.etc. ] Carl!
It is really good to see that the doctors have not effected your wry sense of humor; while they were 'practicing' on you.
Carl
Railroader Emeritus (practiced railroading for 46 years--and in 2010 I finally got it right!)
CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM)
I was having a drink at a local restaurant with my friend Justin when he spotted an attractive woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering his courage, he approached her and asked, "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responded by yelling at the top of her lungs, "No, I won’t come over to your place tonight!"
With everyone in the restaurant staring, Justin crept back to our table, puzzled and humiliated.
A few minutes later, the woman walked over to us and apologized.
"I’m sorry if I embarrassed you," she said, "but I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying human reaction to embarrassing situations."
At the top of his lungs Justin responded, "What do you mean, two hundred dollars?"
My friend announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.
“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”
“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.”
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. “If you get your train,” I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?”
The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, 
I asked, “What else would you like Santa to bring you?”
He promptly replied, “Another train.”
And then there is this tale!
54light15 The Mechanic's Lament Ashes to ashes Dust to dust If it wasn't for Chevies, Our tools would rust.
The Mechanic's Lament
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If it wasn't for Chevies,
Our tools would rust.
Years ago I would go to a transmission parts house from time to time. On one visit, one of the counter guys said they started each day with a prayer thanking God for the Hydramatic Division of GM.
Sign seen Monday near SEPTA's Philmont station:
"Always and never are two words you should always remember to never use."
Joke from my favorite movie, as told by Christopher Walken, who was playing a retired lawyer, "whattya call 100 lawyers buried up to thier necks in sand?" reply, not enough sand.....
A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. Bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
Guy walks into a restaurant and says "Do you serve crabs?" The waiter says, "This is a gas station, we don't serve food."
Guy says, "What's this fly doing in my soup?" Waiter says, " You ordered fly broth. That meat is one buck extra."
Wait, I got more!
PDN:
The New Haven ( MNRR ) converted some years ago to 12.5Kv 60 Hz during one summer's lull over what was about a 2 week (?) period. Had quite a large amount of diesel trains during that period. The CAT conversion to constant tension is still proceeding with scheduled completion sometime next spring As well the Amtra New Haven Hell Gate line from New Rochelle to Gate interlocking ( near SSY ) was converted about 2 (?) years ago to that same power along with constant tension CAT..
blue streak 1Isn't it amazing how long it is taking to eliminate the last vestiges of 25 HZ ? Still a few legacy industries using 25 HZ. Then there is Amtrak !!!
And now, back to the humor.
The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here.”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
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A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, “Have you seen my brother?”
The bartender says, “I don’t know. What does he look like?”
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Doctor Jones likes to stop at a bar after work and enjoy an almond daiquiri. One day, Dick the bartender runs out of almonds and uses hickory nuts instead. The doctor takes a sip and says, “Is this an almond daiquiri, Dick?” And Dick says, “It’s a hickory daiquiri, Doc.”
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https://vimeo.com/182568014
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