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Posted by ChuckCobleigh on Saturday, May 13, 2017 6:10 PM

Over on the Race to Promontory thread, I mentioned Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, which now brings to mind a story I once heard.

Apparently Roy left his new boots out on the porch of the ranch house overnight and came out to find that they had been chewed to pieces.  It was clear that a puma had done the damage by the size and pattern of the tooth marks on the remains.  He was beside himself with fury and seeing this, Dale said not to worry, she would take care of it and he should just wait on the porch.

She set out on Buttermilk and was gone for a while.  Roy was still sitting on the porch a while later when he heard singing and saw Dale riding up on Buttermilk with the offending puma draped across her saddle, dead, while she was holding a guitar and singing, "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"

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Posted by ChuckCobleigh on Saturday, May 6, 2017 1:55 PM

CShaveRR
Pat Paulsen was the candidate for the Straight Talk in American Government (S.T.A.G.) Party.

And who can forget his exhortation at the end of one of his campaign speeches: "I've upped my standards, America; now up yours!"

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Posted by NKP guy on Saturday, May 6, 2017 10:28 AM

   One afternoon little Alex was in the church, looking at a large marble plaque on the wall that had a list of names with a small flag beside each one.  

   The pastor, upon entering the church and seeing Alex, walked over to the lad and gently placed his hand on his shoulder.  "Good morning, Alex."  "Good morning, pastor.  I was just looking at this.  What is it?"  The pastor replied, "Why, Alex, that's a memorial honoring all the people of the parish who died in the service."

   Suddenly trembling with fear, Alex asked, " Oh, my gosh! Which one?  The 8:30 or the 11:00?"

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Posted by Paul_D_North_Jr on Saturday, May 6, 2017 9:12 AM

From 1940.  I like the UP ad above - "go via the famous Road of the Streamliners and the Challengers" ! 

You might not want to read the list in the Dr. I. Q. ad too closely . . . Whistling 

- PDN. 

"This Fascinating Railroad Business" (title of 1943 book by Robert Selph Henry of the AAR)
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Posted by wanswheel on Friday, May 5, 2017 10:54 PM

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Posted by CShaveRR on Friday, May 5, 2017 10:32 PM

If I remember correctly, Gracie was a candidate for the Surprise Party.

Pat Paulsen was the candidate for the Straight Talk in American Government (S.T.A.G.) Party.

Carl

Railroader Emeritus (practiced railroading for 46 years--and in 2010 I finally got it right!)

CAACSCOCOM--I don't want to behave improperly, so I just won't behave at all. (SM)

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Posted by BaltACD on Friday, May 5, 2017 10:10 PM

ChuckCobleigh
BaltACD

So Gracie was a trailblazer for future candidates like Pat Paulson.  Whoda thunk?

The joke of the era was that a woman would become involved in politics - at any level. be it Gracie or any other woman.

Subsequently we have had our Pat Paulson's, Dan Gurney and other faux campaigns.  A faux campaign for George Bruns would have been similar.

Never too old to have a happy childhood!

              

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Posted by ChuckCobleigh on Friday, May 5, 2017 9:58 PM

BaltACD
The shame is - it was played as a joke at the time.  The US has come a long way since then and still has a long way to go.

So Gracie was a trailblazer for future candidates like Pat Paulson.  Whoda thunk?

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Posted by BaltACD on Friday, May 5, 2017 9:52 PM

wanswheel

The shame is - it was played as a joke at the time.  The US has come a long way since then and still has a long way to go.

Never too old to have a happy childhood!

              

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Posted by wanswheel on Friday, May 5, 2017 9:18 PM

 

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Posted by tree68 on Friday, April 7, 2017 1:29 PM

BaltACD
13. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Probably on a motorcycle.  While doing a wheelie...

LarryWhistling
Resident Microferroequinologist (at least at my house) 
Everyone goes home; Safety begins with you
My Opinion. Standard Disclaimers Apply. No Expiration Date
Come ride the rails with me!
There's one thing about humility - the moment you think you've got it, you've lost it...

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Posted by BaltACD on Friday, April 7, 2017 11:39 AM

Murphy's Real Laws:


1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

5. When the chips are down the buffalo is empty.

6. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

7. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

8. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower."

9. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

10. Despite the cost of living, it still remains popular?

11. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

12. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

13. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Never too old to have a happy childhood!

              

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Posted by ChuckCobleigh on Friday, April 7, 2017 11:34 AM

Ah, yes!  The famous Johnny Carson trip across the hall to the set of "CPO Sharkey" to confront Rickles about breaking his cigarette box, which he is holding in his left hand. Absolutely hilarious, it was.

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Posted by wanswheel on Friday, April 7, 2017 10:11 AM

I was eighteen and available. My father said, "Enlist in the Navy."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because it's cleaner than the Army. In the Army, you'll be rolling around in mud."

Mud didn't sound good, so I went with Dad's advice. In those days, they gave you a pass to graduate. They called it a war diploma. Good thing, because without a war diploma I'd still be in high school.

Everyone was patriotic. I was patriotic, but I had a plan. I was an entertainer. Didn't matter that the only people I was entertaining were my friends. I'm telling you, I was an entertainer.

With Dad leading the way, I took the subway down to Grand Central Station, where there was a Navy recruiting center at the time. The doctor took my blood pressure. By the look on his face, I knew something was wrong.

Son,” he asked, “you feeling okay?”

“Feeling fine, sir.”

He took my blood pressure again. The needle went crazy. I looked at the doctor's expression and figured death was around the corner.

“Lie down, young man,” he ordered.

“Yes, sir.”

The needle started dancing all over my arm—and there was no music.

“You're staying overnight, son,” he said.

No one stayed overnight at the recruiting center—except me.

My father was upset. “Your mother will really be upset,” he said. “I'm going home to tell her.”

Next morning, the doctor told me I had hypertension. In layman's talk, that meant I was a wreck. But that didn't disqualify me. They must have been shorthanded. Go figure.

“I'm an entertainer,” I said to anyone who would listen.

“What kind of entertainer?” the doctor asked.

“Comic. I do impressions. I believe I belong in Special Services.”

No problem, sailor,” he said, stamping my papers. Bang! Bang! Bang! I'll never forget that sound.

Next thing I knew, I was on a train with the shades pulled down. The shades were for security reasons but, dummy that I was, I thought we were going to see a movie.

“I'm an entertainer,” I told the commanding officer. “Please send me to where I can entertain.”

“No problem,” he said, stamping my papers with that same Bang! Bang! Bang!

Four hours later, another officer came by with a pad. He asked me if I had special skills.

“Entertaining,” I said proudly. “I'm an entertainer.”

“No problem.” Again with the Bang! Bang! Bang!

Sampson, New York. Boot camp wasn't fun. Who wants to run around a snowy track in your underwear at five in the morning? Husky dogs couldn't take it.

“Put me in Special Services, please,” I begged my superiors.

“No problem.” here we go again. Bang! Bang! Bang!

Next thing I knew I was in the Philippines. The Japanese were on the attack. “You don't understand, sir,” I told my commanding officer. “I'm an entertainer. I do impressions.”

He looked at me, looked at my papers, picked up the stamp and came down with a Bang! Bang! Bang!

That night I was sitting with a 20-millimeter gun on a PT tender.

This couldn't be Special Services. My papers had been stamped, but the only Bang! Bang! Bang! I was hearing was the sound of planes dropping bombs.

Next day I was back cracking jokes. There were two Jewish boys aboard—me and, believe it or not, a guy louder than me: Irving.

Every Saturday morning while we were anchored in a harbor somewhere in the Philippines, a leaky old whaleboat came by and took me and Irving to worship with a rabbi on shore. That was fine, except that, with the whole crew watching, Irving kept yelling, “Come on, Rickles, the rabbi is waiting!” I felt like I was in the Exodus from Egypt.

http://navy.togetherweserved.com/usn/servlet/tws.webapp.WebApps?cmd=ShadowBoxProfile&type=Person&ID=338953

 

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Posted by Semper Vaporo on Saturday, April 1, 2017 11:25 AM

Why are soldiers so tired on the 1st day of April?

 

 

Because they just finished a 31 day March!

Semper Vaporo

Pkgs.

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Posted by pajrr on Monday, December 26, 2016 2:51 AM

In January when the credit card bills arrive that is known as a visit from the Ghost of Christmas Past

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Posted by ChuckCobleigh on Sunday, December 25, 2016 11:26 AM

RME

 

 
Semper Vaporo
How many pallbearers did it take to carry the casket on the 13th day?

 

One.  To drive the Letroporter.

 

I dunno.  That sounded like a job for a Schnabel car set!

RME
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Posted by RME on Sunday, December 25, 2016 11:03 AM

Semper Vaporo
How many pallbearers did it take to carry the casket on the 13th day?

One.  To drive the Letroporter.

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Posted by Semper Vaporo on Sunday, December 25, 2016 7:32 AM

How many pallbearers did it take to carry the casket on the 13th day?

Semper Vaporo

Pkgs.

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Posted by zardoz on Sunday, December 25, 2016 3:28 AM

On the first day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: A Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the second day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Two Happy Meals, and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the third day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fourth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the fifth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the sixth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the seventh day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eighth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Eight bowls of chili, Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the ninth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Nine polish hot dogs, Eight bowls of chili, Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the tenth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Ten baked potatoes, Nine polish hot dogs, Eight bowls of chili, Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Eleven pounds of butter, Ten baked potatoes, Nine polish hot dogs, Eight bowls of chili, Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Twelve bags of Pepto, Eleven pounds of butter, Ten baked potatoes, Nine polish hot dogs, Eight bowls of chili, Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, And a Big Bacon Classic with Cheese.

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Posted by zardoz on Sunday, December 25, 2016 3:05 AM

While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. “If you get your train,” I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?”

The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, 
I asked, “What else would you like Santa to bring you?”

He promptly replied, “Another train.”

NDG
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Posted by NDG on Wednesday, November 16, 2016 10:22 PM

 

What did the Roundhouse Foreman say to the Engineer as he climbed aboard the RDC??

"This Budd's for You !"

Thank You.

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Posted by RME on Friday, November 11, 2016 3:47 PM

NDG
"Nice to be up front on these new Diesels, ahead of all that SMOKE!!"

Isn't that the movie that had Alco FAs on the outside, but F-units on the inside? 

NDG
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Posted by NDG on Friday, November 11, 2016 12:19 PM

 

FWIW.

"Nice to be up front on these new Diesels, ahead of all that SMOKE!!"

https://obscuretrainmovies.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/hd007.jpg

Thank You.

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Posted by BaltACD on Monday, October 31, 2016 2:43 PM

Murphy Siding
You sure that's not Santa?

Santa, from Weight Watchers in civi's

Never too old to have a happy childhood!

              

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Posted by Murphy Siding on Monday, October 31, 2016 2:07 PM

You sure that's not Santa?

Thanks to Chris / CopCarSS for my avatar.

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Posted by wanswheel on Monday, October 31, 2016 11:48 AM

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Posted by Semper Vaporo on Saturday, October 8, 2016 1:47 PM

If you want to have some fun... wait until late on Christmas Eve and then drive up to one of the 24hour gas stations and run in with a harried look on your face... maybe even muss your hair a bit.

Look all around when you get in the door and say, "Quick, I need a Christmas gift for my wife!"

Usually you will find a rack of motor oil near the front.  Grab a bottle of your favourite oil and say, "She likes" and name the color of the bottle,  "so she will like this!".  Take it to the checkout counter and buy it.  Leave with a big "relieved/satisfied" smile on your face.

The first time I did this, I really needed a quart of oil for a snow blower, but I have since done it just for the fun of it.

It worked best the first time I did it.  I fooled the pretty, young clerk, but not the fellow trying to chat her up and he explained to her what had happened as I walked out.  The other times, I have too hard a time keeping a straight face and the clerks catch on too easily.  Maybe you can do better.

 

Semper Vaporo

Pkgs.

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Posted by zardoz on Saturday, October 8, 2016 1:00 PM

Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the holiday shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.

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Posted by BaltACD on Thursday, October 6, 2016 10:04 PM

Paul_D_North_Jr
BtrainBob

Alan Sherman on a more railroad themed song.

  https://youtu.be/almHNoCGiYc

Definately a railroader - family in every terminal

Never too old to have a happy childhood!

              

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