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Thoughts for the year 2005 Number10 - Life is sexually transmitted. Number 9- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8- Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. Number 7- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Number 6- Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. Number 5- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Number 4- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism . Number 3- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? Number 2- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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