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The next edition of . . . . . Saturday's Silly Season . . . yeaaaaaaaaaa [8D] Computer Virus Types... Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting. The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem. Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America. Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer. Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard. Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error). New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it. Nike virus: Just Does It! Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB. Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:. PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money. Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism". Right To Life virus: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives. Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened. Texas virus: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
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