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I was stationed in the FRG (West Germany) in the late seventies, in Augsburg. An old girlfriend invited me up for a weekend in Nuremburg, so, armed with two weeks of Headstart German, lots of marks, I took the "strass" (trolley) down to the Hauptbahnhof. I should have bought einer Ruckfahrkarten (a round trip ticket) but my German was sehr schlecht (really poor). I managed to buy einer Erste Klass (first class) ticket- one way. I got to Nuremburg OK. As it so happened, there was a bierfest in town and as the weekend drew to a close my girlfriend's fiance (surprise!) and I hoisted a couple of liter mugs on my way back to the Nuremburg Hauptbahnhof. I got a ticket back to Augsburg and settled in to a very nice Erste Klass seat. In came the Wagonfuhrer (conductor) who noticed I had a Dreite Klass (second class) ticket. He spoke in sentences, paragraphs, nay, literal books of German at a pace faster than the train was going. All I could think of, after careful thought, was "Bitte, Haben sie hier ein Anglischen sprechen Wagonfuhrer?" (Please, do you have an English speaking conductor here?") I got one of those looks of contempt conductors give to no account, ne'er do well, drunken, soldiers and der Wagonfuhrer spat out a "Nein!". He got another Wagonfuhrer into the compartment and more German followed. There was talk of "militarischen polizei" which did not bode well for me. I watched as one of the conductors did rapid calculations on the back of a ticket. I figured out he wanted four and a half marks for the upgraded ticket. He got a handful of change, some German, mostly American (I had been very busy enhancing the Nuremburg economy that weekend). Lucky me! I ended up with a single token to take the strassenbahn (streetcar) back to Flak Kaserne, otherwise it would have been a VERY long walk. I've often wondered if passenger conductors in the USA would be able to do the same thing if they met, say, a German corporal riding the rails.... <br /> <br />Erik
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