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Madame la M., I totally agree with all the good things everybody has already said in this thread - we're extremely happy to have you here! Happy birthday!!!! Oliver By the way, I adore cats, at home we have a beautiful Chartreux cat (she's totally gray with yellow eyes - we call this kind the "Russian blue" - I'm not sure if those are one and the same breed), and now I have a perfect "excuse" to post the following: "I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic." "One cat just leads to another." - Ernest Hemingway "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." - Anonymous "Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez "In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats." - English proverb "As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat." - Ellen Perry Berkeley "Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are divine." "Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." - Mary Bly "Teaching 4th Graders is like herding cats." - Marian Wise "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." - anonymous "There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." - Anonymous "I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." - Hippolyte Taine "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."- Albert Schweitzer "Time spent with cats is never wasted." - Colette "No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." - Anonymous "Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." - Missy Dizick... heh, heh, heh... "You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats." - Colonial American proverb "Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." - Joseph Wood Krutch "Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit." - John S. Nichols "Jerry dear said it was him or the cat.... I miss him sometimes." OWNER'S GUIDE FOR CATS - submitted by Sir Reginald Fluffy-Mittens ____________________________________________ Cats are beautiful, sophisticated, intelligent creatures. And with a little love and caring, they can keep a human being alive for upwards of seventy to eighty years. If you follow these simple instructions, you can have your human housetrained in no time. CLEANLINESS: For some reasons, humans seem to enjoy immersing themselves in running water. Attempts to get humans to lick themselves clean have proven interesting, if unproductive. COMMUNICATION: Humans are unable to speak a proper language. Therefore, you should communicate a point loudly, repeatedly, and if at all possible, at about three in the morning. Any attempts at human-to-cat communication can be dealt with by simply ignoring it until it stops. FEEDING: Morning feeding should start promptly when your human is fast asleep, preferably three or four minutes before the alarm is supposed to go off. Recommended methods of waking your human include: sitting on its face, screaming in its ear, and biting its hair. MATING: Human mating behavior is fascinating. Unfortunately, humans tend to get easily spooked by prolonged study of courtship rituals, and resort to shoe-throwing behavior. TOILET TRAINING: A human's natural tendency is to not change your litter box. Although experts in human behavior believe it can be attributed to the "laziness reflex," this can be easily corrected through what is called "shoe therapy." Just remember that a human shoe looks a lot like a human toilet, and you should be fine. Following these simple tips is the first step towards a long and productive cat/human relationship.
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