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[quote]QUOTE: Originally posted by gsetter [quote]QUOTE: Originally posted by trainluver1 ... I guess you could say he's a "distant" friend of mine, and yes, he is the kind that has an addictive personality.[/quote] Sounds more like an irritating acquaintance than a friend to you. [quote]QUOTE: He just ended a seven year relationship with a prostitute-if you can call it a relationship, is filthy and disorganized and has one of the most vulgar mouths on earth.. [/quote] In other words, low self-esteem and a loud mouth slob that doesn't make much money. I think I work with him! Seriously, If anyone needs therapy, this poor soul does. As Tom said "(his) inability to find contentment with even one of his new train purchases, will not respond well to interference". It is not about model railroading but escapism. He is most likely in denial and may not realize he has a problem until he hits bottom. It's more obvious when drinking, drugs or gambling is involved. Are there other people in his life, like family, who genuinely care about him? Do you know and talk to them? [quote]QUOTE: Every time I turn around he's calling me to come over and repair one of his engines or something that he's droped and broken...[/quote] He's got your number and you're enabling him, sorry to say. He'll keep calling you because you're a caring person at heart (otherwise you would just take his money or tell him to get bent) and he's going to take advantage of that. For example, I knew a guy, Tim, who had a friend, Charlie, who worked in an auto parts store. Tim needed a starter for his truck, but he also knew the starter ring on the flywheel was chewing up the starter. Replacing the flywheel was a lot of work and he didn't want to do it or pay to have it done. So Instead of replacing the flywheel, he would just change the starter. When the starter would wear out in a month or two, he'd take it back to Charlie. Being a good friend, Charlie would replace it under warranty for free. When I asked Tim why he didn't just replace the flywheel, he said " why should I when I can get new starters from Charlie". You may be dealing with a person with flawed logic. [quote]QUOTE: It's as if he never learns. [/quote] Sometimes they do, others never. Just pray he doesn't kill or hurt himself or someone else. [quote]QUOTE: ...I've tried being patient with him and tried teaching him things, but I'd have better luck trying to teach a rock...[/quote] Sounds like it's getting to you. Don't let it discourage you from helping others. You win some, you loose some. You don't have to respond to him everytime he calls. [quote]QUOTE: I don't mean to be so critical of the guy, but this is really how he is.[/quote] You must see some redeeming qualities in him. If you don't think he'd get mad and kill you, be frank with him. Tell him he's going to crash and burn if he doesn't get his priorities straight. One day it's all going to catch up to him. He may not like what you say or listen, but he will remember your warning when it happens. [/quote] Thanks for all the great advice and so forth gsetter. I mean that. You could have just read it all, laughed and moved on like a lot of people have probably done. I've tried talking sense to this guy, and tried to reason with him about the fact that nothing stays the same forever. One day moma's going to be gone, and he's going to have to make his own living and way through life, which will include spending his money a lot more wisely than he has been. He won't be able to blow his paychecks like he has. And very few people beyond his mom are going to put up with him going off on one of his infamous cursing and threatening tantrums. He may not mean it, but the law won't take it lightly... If you ask me-not that I'm a qualified professional, I'd say that he's headed for a break down of some kind in the future. I don't really think he's the type that would hurt himself or someone else, but then that's been said before only to find out otherwise. He puts on this tough guy, vulgar mouth front, yet he's as fragile as can be. Like you said, he pours himself into the train hobby in order to avoid all other issues in life. But I've got news for him, he's eventually going to have to face them anyway... Another thing about him is that he refuses to even attempt to learn new things. He won't change his car oil or check his fluid levels-let alone wash it. He has no knowledge of tools, machinery or anything else mechanical or electronic, nothing. You're right in what you said about my "having to put up with him", and that's the only reason I have anything to do with him. Otherwise I would have told him to go get f----d a long time ago!. I could go on and on, but I think you have a pretty good idea of the character I'm having to deal with here. Just wish me luck that I'll get away from him soon and back to my own quiet life... I had a really bad head injury back in 1981 on a construction job and had seizures for about three years. I'm normally real quiet and reserved, and not really up to dealing with someone like this. I do home repairs for a living, and it all started about two years ago when his mom asked me to stop by and look at a leak under her kitchen sink. I got to talking to him, we got on the subject of trains, I told him I had some N scale stuff for sale, he got interested and bought it, and I've had to put up with him ever since. Oh well. Life deals us all a different hand. Some people get a full house or a straight, while the rest of us get what we do... Thanks again for listening. trainluver1
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