Don't let Mikey near my trains!

[FJ and G]

I get pumped up watching the Discovery Channel's American Chopper. Those biker dudes really know how to fab a sweet bike.

Watching them take a piece of sheet metal and make a gas tank or heat up the forks and twist them makes the creative juices flow and more eager to tackle my own toy train fabrications.

Pauli and senior have an open invitation to the basement, but just don't let Mikey near them. Keep him in the front office answering phones where he belongs!

[jonadel]

That show is a riot and what they produce is amazing. It would be so much fun to own a bike from them but I just can't even imagine what the entry level price would be. WAY more than I would want to spend. I think most of us have the ability to fabricate things for our layouts, just like the Tuttles, but I think it becomes a time issue.

American Chopper--where they put "fun" in dysfunctional.

Jon

[Anonymous]

I don't know about that, Dave. During the past week I have seen them smash up a good golf cart, punch a hole in a box trailer and completely wreck, on purpose, a nice Ford SUV while totalling the interior of their old shop! I don't think I would let either Pauls within ten miles of my place.

Now, Mikey is another matter. He is harmless unless you hand him a hammer or power tool. He tries. He really does. I liken him to Lou Costello. A sweet gentle specimen who's real talents are submerged by the other two.

I'd hate to be the Company's insurance carrier!

Tony

[FJ and G]

Jon,

Way more than I could afford as well. Anyway, wouldn't ride one here. Need more open spaces like in midwest.

Tony,

know whatchya mean. Pauli is plain lazy. Needs psycho senior to light a fire under him.

I don't know how much is show and how much is real but I've known personalities like all 3 of them.

[underworld]

Destruction is entertainment! [}:)] I mean.....look at Monster Truck events. [:p]

underworld

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

[Frank53]

they are cool bikes from a distance, and teh slick paint, etc give great appeal.

However, they aren't bikes built for riding, and the way they jimmy stufff and eye ball alignments (hey Paulie - I need a spacer!), chances are those bikes don't go down the road ultra straight.

Bikes have a certain geometry and symmetry unachievable without a more disciplined approach to building the foundation. Form really should follow function, in the case of those bikes, It's all glitz, smoke mirrors and big engines.

$100,000 for one of those, or $20,000 for my harley with another $5 k in accessorizing. I'll betcha I'll still be riding mine long after those bikes are merely showroom curiosity.

[dougdagrump]

I like the hot rod shows, Boyd Coddington puts out some beautiful cars but the show seems almost like a "Soap Opera" at times.

[Dr. John]

Now all we need is a show like "American Train-nuts" or "Monster-Trains." Now there are two shows that I would watch!

Imagine this exchange:

Paul jr.: "I think that we ought to stretch the F-3, add some chrome, replace the horizontal motors with a V-Twin . . . It'll be sick!"

Paul sr, :"So what are you doing standing around? I could have fabricated a scale Hudson from scrap iron in the time you're taking to plan this thing!!!"

Mikey: "What do you think will happen if I plug this ZW into 220 volts?"

Jr and Sr: "NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

[FJ and G]

Good one, john,!!!

How about when the brown truck arrives and the parts to the turnout they ordered were the wrong kind!

Pauli Sr. "This isn't what we ordered. Mikey, go out in the dumpster and find those rails we threw away.'

Mikey (speaking to camera): "I do all the dirty jobs around here. I'm just a Sponge Bob to them, but what I do is the most important thing here.'

If I didn't clean the track with brite boy and lube the gears, nothing would run. They don't appreciate talent."

[underworld]

And what would happen when they ordered pistons for a steamer....and got pistons for a diesel!!!!! [:p]

underworld

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

[wrmcclellan]

Paul Sr.: What the h*ll have you guys been doing all day long! Playing with the trains?

Paul Jr.: Pop. It just looks like we are playing with the trains. You think you can just walk in here every once in a while and know what is going on.

Paul Sr.: I have been playing with trains since before you were born! Don't tell me how to play with trains. Besides, I thought this layout was going to be an "old school" layout. What the h*ll are you guys doing with that RealTrax anyway?

Vince: Well Pauley and I thought this RealTrax stuff would look pretty cool on the layout, but frankly we are having some problems with it. It just doesn't bend like the tubular stuff.

Paul Sr.: That's what I have been telling you guys all along! You start messing around with this latest technology c**p and nothing's gettin' done. You already gotten off track with this DCS stuff and now you've complicated everything. Why can't you just operate the handles on the ZW like we always have?

[Paul Sr.storms out of the room, goes into his office where a D-267 layout stands]

Paul Sr. [to camera]: See this! This is the way you do it! It's simple, no fancy controls. It's Old School!

[Back in the shop]

Paul Jr.: My father always thinks he knows what is best. He is still living in the past and he thinks Lionel is the only company that knew how to build a train layout.

[later in the shop - Vince and Paul Jr. have the layout running - finally]

Paul Sr.: Hey! That's really cool! Let me see that DCS handheld! How's this thing work anyway?

[jonadel]

Frank53

You are absolutely correct about the longevity of those bikes, they are strictly show bikes and nothing more. Kind of like collecting trains as opposed to running trains.

Jon

[cnw1995]

I love this show - I can just imagine these exchanges - imagine Paul Sr. in bib coveralls and an engineer's cap...

[philo426]

I love American Hotrod,but cannot understand how Boyd Coddington could tolerate some of the immature and un-professional conduct depicted in the show.Some of these guys would not make it in a carwash,let alone one of America's premier hotrod builders.Duane can be an A-hole sometimes but he is under tremendous pressure to deliver the hotrods on time while maintaining Coddington's rigorous build standards.Makes it hard to do this when you have smart-alecs and some old guy who falls asleep in the middle of a work day.Maybe the whole show is a sham and the real builders are off-camera.What do you guys think?

[csxt30]

I think the same as philo426 does. I think they have a script to go by, and glad that 1 boy got fired for not following orders on building that car safely, only cause my boy watching it would see that you can't do whatever you want to when you work for someone. Plus he wasn't at all gratefull for his boss paying the whole bill! I wonder if they are actors, though. Thanks, John

[FEClionel]

American Hot Rod is a soap opera - think the have some builders that are purly there for entertainment. Does anyone know what happen when that guy left (Charlie?)to go to Foose and why does Boyd hate Foose so much - I know he went off to start a shop that rivals or exceeds his in production and recognition. Any ideas?

[FJ and G]

Roy,

That is great!

Senior: Where's Pauli? We've got to assemble this articulated today so we can get to the show over at York

Vinnie: i think he's sleepin in.

Senior: (rolls eyes and stomps off to his office)

Vinnie: Hey Mikey, can you give me a hand putting on the side rods?

Mikey: sure Vinny, which sides do they go on?

Vinnie: that's all right, I think I can handle it myself

Mikey (to the camera): I'm really pumped up going to York. I'm not a toy train head like the rest of these guys but I'm really looking forward to the funnel cakes and Pennsylvania Dutch food they have up there. I can really put some away.

Pauli enters: Hey, what's up guys?

Vinnie: Glad you could make it in.

Pauli: yeah, I had some important business to take care of.

Vinnie: Yeah?

Pauli: Yeah. Had a heart to heart talk with my lady when she asked : "Who do you love better, me or your trains." Told her not to put me on the spot like that.

[laz 57]

And GIZ don't forget.........
PAULIE SR " IF YOU GIZ DON' PUT THESE TRAINS AWAY AND CLEAN THIS PLACE UP ..... MY SIZE 12 IS GOING TO START TO WORK AROUND HERE".
laz57

[bogaziddy]

Are you listening CTT?

I think it's about time we get a toy train show into production so we can air on Discovery channel or Home and Garden Network. Sounds like we already have very imaginative scriptwriters with lots of great ideas. [swg]

It would be great to get a host like that Jesse James guy or Bob Villa and come up with all sorts of grandiose layout ideas and radical kit-bashing projects and then do like those fellows do ... find some poor suckers to do all the work.

This is news @11 sending it back to the studio ...

[Anonymous]

These scripts are funny but are seriously deficient in one major aspect....Paul Sr., the "Great Bleeper", is underrepresented here. A true to life script would have to have about every tenth word bleeped out!

That young teenager,Cody, has sure received an education while working there. He will probably end up as a Navy chief, from what I have experienced!

Tony

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by wrmcclellan

Paul Sr.: What the h*ll have you guys been doing all day long! Playing with the trains?

Paul Jr.: Pop. It just looks like we are playing with the trains. You think you can just walk in here every once in a while and know what is going on.

Paul Sr.: I have been playing with trains since before you were born! Don't tell me how to play with trains. Besides, I thought this layout was going to be an "old school" layout. What the h*ll are you guys doing with that RealTrax anyway?

Vince: Well Pauley and I thought this RealTrax stuff would look pretty cool on the layout, but frankly we are having some problems with it. It just doesn't bend like the tubular stuff.

Paul Sr.: That's what I have been telling you guys all along! You start messing around with this latest technology c**p and nothing's gettin' done. You already gotten off track with this DCS stuff and now you've complicated everything. Why can't you just operate the handles on the ZW like we always have?

[Paul Sr.storms out of the room, goes into his office where a D-267 layout stands]

Paul Sr. [to camera]: See this! This is the way you do it! It's simple, no fancy controls. It's Old School!

[Back in the shop]

Paul Jr.: My father always thinks he knows what is best. He is still living in the past and he thinks Lionel is the only company that knew how to build a train layout.

[later in the shop - Vince and Paul Jr. have the layout running - finally]

Paul Sr.: Hey! That's really cool! Let me see that DCS handheld! How's this thing work anyway?

Reading this made me feel like I was watching the show HAHAHAHAHA!!!

[Anonymous]

QUOTE: Originally posted by bogaziddy

Are you listening CTT?

I think it's about time we get a toy train show into production so we can air on Discovery channel or Home and Garden Network. Sounds like we already have very imaginative scriptwriters with lots of great ideas. [swg]

It would be great to get a host like that Jesse James guy or Bob Villa and come up with all sorts of grandiose layout ideas and radical kit-bashing projects and then do like those fellows do ... find some poor suckers to do all the work.

This is news @11 sending it back to the studio ...

Forget Jesse James or Bob Villa if your going to do a show we need GOMEZ ADAMS as the host. HAHAHAHAH!?!

[Anonymous]

laz57 I know, I know your size 12!!!!!

[underworld]

QUOTE: Forget Jesse James or Bob Villa if your going to do a show we need GOMEZ ADAMS as the host. HAHAHAHAH!?!

I like that!

underworld

[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

[Anonymous]

Man, this thread is freakin' hilarious! As I'm reading, I'm also imagining watching the show with the CTT plot/dialog...

It would never work as a real show, for several reasons: first off, the mental giants they have on the show would never have the patience or intelligence (not to mention the kid gloves) to work with trains...you don't often find a use for a 15-pound sledge when working on your trains. And I doubt there's enough of an audience for it. Sure, we're all train nuts, but the general public?...put it this way, there's a lot more people who ride bikes than who run model trains.

As for the show itself, sure the drama between Sr and Jr is the fuel. But those guys aren't really that talented (as someone above pointed out.) I mean, all they do is order parts and asemble them when they arrive. I think most of us in CTT land could do what they do. They don't have much to fabricate. Now Jesse James--there's a master fabricator. He builds everything from the frame right on up. Watch the two and see what I mean.

And I can't stand Boyd Coddington. I can't imagine why anyone would want to work for that slacker...I thought slavery was outlawed...

[FJ and G]

Bakdoor,

Welcome to the forum. Guess you guys have added a dose of realism. When the camera is off, who is really working on those bikes all night? Probably some people they hire, while they go to the gym and lift weights, or have candlelight dinners etc.

But I think all of us can relate to some of the characters, even tho they exaggerate their behaviors per the script, which, as you can tell, some of us could write ourselves.

Glad my layout doesn't have those 3 day deadlines and someone with a size 12 trying to stick his foot up my bu**. I still say, don't let Mikey near my trains. In fact, senior ought to fire him. But then again, that's nepotism in the workplace!

[yellowducky]

Maybe a new show for MRR fans, "Extreme Makeover- Model Train Layout Edition".