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Would you believe..... (a little humor)
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Hump Day Helpers [:)] <br /> <br /> <br /> <br />Although this was written by someone else, seems to <br />apply to many of us from the "early" days. Many <br />children of today don't have the advantages we had as <br />kids, with vacant lots to play ball, the need to <br />improvise to play games with the neighbors and the <br />abilities to use our imaginations to keep ourselves <br />occupied. <br /> <br />HOW DID WE SURVIVE <br /> <br />My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo <br />on the same cutting board with the same knife and no <br />bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning. <br /> <br />My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I <br />used to eat it raw sometimes too, but I can't remember <br />getting E-coli. <br /> <br />Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in <br />the lake instead of a pristine pool (talk about <br />boring). <br /> <br />The term cell phone would have conjured up a phone in <br />a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system. <br /> <br />We all took gym, not PE... and risked permanent injury <br />with a pair of high top Ked's (only worn in gym) <br />instead of having cross-training athletic shoes <br />with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. <br />I can't recall any injuries but they must have <br />happened because they tell us how much safer we are <br />now. Flunking gym was not an option... even for stupid <br />kids! I guess PE must be much harder than gym. <br /> <br />Every year, someone taught the whole school a lesson <br />by running in the halls with leather soles on linoleum <br />tile and hitting the wet spot. How much better off <br />would we be today if we only knew we could have sued <br />the school system. <br /> <br />Speaking of school, we all said prayers and sang the <br />national anthem and staying in detention after school <br />caught all sorts of negative attention. We must <br />have had horribly damaged psyches. I can't understand <br />it. <br /> <br />Schools didn't offer 14 year olds an abortion or <br />condoms (we wouldn't have known what either was <br />anyway) but they did give us a couple of baby aspirin <br />and cough syrup if we started getting the sniffles. <br />What an archaic health system we had then. Remember <br />school nurses? Ours wore a hat and everything. <br /> <br />I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something <br />before I was allowed to be proud of myself. <br /> <br />I just can't recall how bored we were without <br />computers, PlayStation, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital <br />cable stations. <br /> <br />I must be repressing that memory as I try to <br />rationalize through the denial of the dangers could <br />have befallen us as we trekked off each day about a <br />mile down the road to some guy's vacant 20, built <br />forts out of branches and pieces of plywood, made <br />trails, and fought over who got to be the Lone Ranger. <br />What was that property owner thinking, letting us play <br />on that lot? He should have <br />been locked up for not putting up a fence around the <br />property, complete with a self-closing gate and an <br />infrared intruder alarm. <br /> <br />Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl and <br />sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could <br />have been killed! <br /> <br />We played king of the hill on piles of gravel left on <br />vacant construction sites and when we got hurt, Mom <br />pulled out the 48 cent bottle of Mercurochrome <br />and then we got our butt spanked. Now it's a trip to <br />the emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 <br />bottle of antibiotics and then Mom calls the <br />attorney to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly <br />vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat. <br /> <br />We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either <br />because if we did, we got our butt spanked (physical <br />abuse) here too . and then we got butt spanked again <br />when we got home. <br /> <br />Mom invited the door to door salesman inside for <br />coffee. <br /> <br />Kids choked down the dust from the gravel driveway <br />while playing with Tonka trucks (Remember why Tonka <br />trucks were made tough...it wasn't so that they <br />could take the rough Berber in the family room), and <br />Dad drove a car with leaded <br />gas. <br /> <br />Our music had to be left inside when we went out to <br />play and I am sure that I nearly exhausted my <br />imagination a couple of times when we went on two week <br />vacations. <br /> <br />I should probably sue the folks now for the danger <br />they put us in when we all slept in campgrounds in the <br />family tent. <br /> <br />Summers were spent behind the push lawn mower and I <br />didn't even know that mowers came with motors until I <br />was 13 and we got one without an automatic blade-stop <br />or an auto- drive. How sick were my parents? <br /> <br />Of course my parents weren't the only psychos. I <br />recall Donny Reynolds from next door coming over and <br />doing his tricks on the front stoop just before he <br />fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have <br />owned our house. Instead she picked him up and swatted <br />him for being such a goof. It was a Neighborhood run <br />amuck. <br /> <br />To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever <br />been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. <br />How could we possibly have known that? We needed <br />to get into group therapy and anger management <br />classes? We were obviously so duped by so many <br />societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the <br />entire country wasn't taking Prozac! <br /> <br />How did we survive? <br /> <br />
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