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Mookie emailed me these . . . . so enjoy them like I did. [:D] > 7 reasons not to mess with a child > > A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The > teacher said it was physically impossible for a > whale to swallow a human because even though it was > a very large mammal its throat was very small. > The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a > whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not > swallow a human; it was physically impossible. > The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask > Jonah". > The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" > The little girl replied, "Then you ask him". > > Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom > of children while they were drawing. She would > occasionally walk around to see each child's work. > As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, > she asked what the drawing was. > The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." > The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what > God looks like." > Without missing a beat, or looking up from her > drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." > > A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten > Commandments with her five and six year olds. > After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy > Father and thy Mother, she asked, > "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to > treat our brothers and sisters?" > Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of > a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill..." > > One day a little girl was sitting and watching her > mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly > noticed that her mother had several strands of white > hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. > She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, > "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" > Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do >something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of > my hairs turns white." > The little girl thought about this revelation for a while > and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's > hairs are white?" > > The children had all been photographed, and the > teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a > copy of the group picture. > "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are > all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' > or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' > A small voice at the back of the room rang out, > "And there's the teacher, She's dead. " > > A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of > the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, > she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the > blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red > in the face." "Yes," the class said. > "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in > the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my > feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty." > > The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a > Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of > the table was a large pile of apples. > The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: > "Take only ONE. God is watching." > Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end > of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. > A child had written a note, "Take all you want. > God is watching the apples. > > It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just > remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too!
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