Edit post

Edit your reply below.

Post Body
Enter your post below.
OK More funny stuff There are from high school essays ENJOY Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law, Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. He was a lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame... maybe from stepping on a land mind or something. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
Tags (Optional)
Tags are keywords that get attached to your post. They are used to categorize your submission and make it easier to search for. To add tags to your post type a tag into the box below and click the "Add Tag" button.
Add Tag