This is a foward email several yrs ago from a UP engr in MO. Author is unknown. I enjoy sharing w/friends this time of yr.
Was night before Christmas back in '03. No one was working except loosers like me. Departing the depot my condr and I, fighting fatigue on another red-eye, both dreading yet one more holiday at the motel. Not 10 miles out in the night, a feeling upon us that something was not right. We should have a clear--this signal was flashing. An approach came next as is usually is the fashion. Then what to my sleep deprived eyes should appear, a dark signal with officers near. We started to slow when I said with a sigh: "I really am tempted to just blow on by". But rather take 30 days pulled-from-service "vacation", we settled ourselves in for the sad situation. Three "wisemen" climed aboard as looked to see a Trainmaster, Sup Ops and a RFE. They said "this is the season for family and resting, we thought it was a really nice night for some testing. We wish a safe holiday for both of you, but we found an exception, so here is a level two. We looked at your signal form and you mispelled a word, so here is one mor strike. You set 19 pounds instead of 20, so here is one more. Don't worry, there is plenty. We know it's the eve of the birth of our saviour, but we simply must change your behavior. Christ died on the cross as a way to atone us, but we are concerned for the size of our bonus. We would like to say thank you for taking this run, oh here is one more strike just in case we may have missed one." They made us sign papers and said nothing more as they exited the door. We sat there a moment, my condr still sighing, I started to laugh, it was that or start crying. I said "this time of season we forgive all men for whatever the reason. It's just their job these officers do, for deep down inside they are like me and you. This feeling of love is what Christmas is all about". I opened my window and stuck my head out . I heard one exclaim as they left in the night: "Here is one more level for a burned out ditch light".
The Beatniks Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the pad
Not a hepcat was stirring
and that's nowheresville, dad.
that's all I got. from Mad magazine- anybody know the rest?
But, in any event Merry Christmas to all and a happy New Year!
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