Christmas Model Railroading gifts - etiquette?

Save it for the time being.  You never know when you might change your mind about something!

Consider it a gift from someone who cares about you.  If you ever get the chance, make sure the gifter sees their gift in action on your railroad.  They won't know that their gift doesn't fit your modeled era.

Also, to help prevent this sort of thing in the future, engage your visitors in a conversation regarding the things you are planning on acquiring in the future.  Be somewhat specific.  If they take the hint, on your next birthday or next Christmas, you may be doubly surprised by a model railroad gift that actually BELONGS on your layout!

Last Christmas, my brother surprised me with a pre-built model of a gas station ( by Bachmann).  The surprise was doubly rewarding; that he would get me something for my layout AND that it was in the right scale (N scale)!  The building is generic enough to fit into my transition-era layout, although the vehicles included will have to be changed.  I promptly found a temporary spot for it on the layout, where it has sat untouched all year.  Eventually, when I move it to a more permanent location, it will have era-specific vehicles and details and probably a fresh coat of paint.

Although I think highly of my brother, I must admit that my admiration for his intuitive sense has increased.  But I'm not surprised by that, seeing as how he is MY brother after all!!!  LOL

 It is not the deed, but the thought that counts...

In any case, keep it, even if you will never run it on your layout. Some 20 years ago, my wife gave me a Marklin "Crocodile" as a present for our first wedding anniversary, after she found out that I always wanted to have one in my youth days. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the German E 94 class, sometimes dubbed "German Crocodile", instead of the Swiss Ce 6/8 I was looking for. I never told my wife. Incidentally, this loco is one of the very few pieces that survived our financial crisis - I will never part from it!

LHS or E-store Gift certificates, you can't go wrong with that.  A very smart strategy is to create a wish list or gift list in your favorite LHS or E-store, tell your friends and family to browse those sites.  They'll find something you really need and want, and they have the choise to select what fits their budget.

 Hang on to it, when they are over, have it on the bench.

 Two Christmases, my then 32 year old daughter bought me a deer and two deer crossing signs in O Scale. Problem is I model HO scale. Deerzila is up on one of my hills. Only problem is all my HO people ran away!

          Cuda Ken

Be of good cheer.  It could be something like this one I got from my sister:

I replaced the horn-hooks, incidentally.

Mmmmm Vlasic pickles.

Our sisters must shop together, mine gave me a Gerber baby food reefer that I think is an old Tyco ...  Maybe you should post that photo on the "pickle car" thread that someone started in December.

Seems to me if someone gives you a grab bag of trains what they are saying in effect is "pick out the stuff you want or like" -- it isn't like they carefully picked it out for you.  My sister's feelings are hurt so easily that I just take whatever nonsense trains (Gerber Baby Food reefer is just one example) she gives me and quietly dispose of them or save them for special display if she comes visisting.  We do the same with non train related stuff we get from her by the way.  Now my wife understands so in the rare case where she finds something she thinks I might like at a rummage sale for example, she won't mind if i say "that isn't something I can use" and I add it to the box of trains I either sell at swap meets or offer to visitors.

By the way if your local NMRA sponsors a youth group, that is a great destination for unwanted trains.

Dave Nelson

4 out of 5 ain't bad really!! I know I'm tough to buy for, one thing I pointed out to my wife this year is that she (or other family members) can log onto www.Walthers.com and see my Wish List there. The nice thing about that is I usually have a number of things there with a pretty big price range, so anyone deciding they need to buy me a present can see what's in stock and find something to fit the amt they wish to spend. My birthday is in November so they can do both at once.

However, ya I'd just as soon people not get me RR presents...or presents in general, but that's a different issue.

Hate to go against the grain here, but just because someone gave you something doesn't mean you HAVE to let them see you use it. What if they had given you a pink snuggie with hand emroiderd train doylies on it?

You are lucky that 2 out of three are useable. I'd consdier that a victory for both parties.

You can show those off the next time they visit, if you feel you must placate their egos or if they ask.

If they ask about the other one, simply explain that it doesn't fit the goal you are trying to achieve while thanking them and pointing out the other two..

Honesty DOES work sometimes, and it's an opportunity to eaplain what DOES fit your theme.

Hopefully there are still some folks who would rather be told the truth, rather than receive an ego stroke.

dknelson

Our sisters must shop together, mine gave me a Gerber baby food reefer that I think is an old Tyco ... 

I don't have a picture of the orange-and-white Toys-R-Us car with the giraffe on it...

I suppose this is my payback.  One year I gave her a full-sized stuffed pheasant I found at a yard sale.

This car may be a little anachronistic but bite the bullet and place it in a train ON SELECT OCCASIONS!

Run it in the middle of a string of empty flats where it will stand out like a sore thumb. "Oh, Look! There's one of those cars we got for little Johnny last Christmas! Isn't it cute!"

I got a Gerbers boxcar from someone who will remain anonymous. That will be changed/patched/weathered/beaten on---

Start a display shelf or shelves. Lay some track on the shelf and put the auto carrier there along with any other gifts you get that don't fit your era. You can also display your excess rolling stock and locomotives there, the ones you don't have room for on your layout or that you seldom use. If you've built some structures that you haven't found a place for on your layout, they can go on the display shelves. Rather than store structures in their boxes waiting for just the right place on the layout before you assemble them, assemble them now and put them on your display shelves.

I have asked my wife and both my children not to get me anything for my model railroad. My needs are too specific and, not being into model railroading, they can't choose what I want. What I do is ask them for is general purpose (i.e. Visa) gift cards which I can spend at the hobby store. A gift certificate from my favourite hobby store would work, but it's on the second floor and my wife can't climb the stairs and my daughter lives out of town.

My son once got me a Bachman pre-assembled water tower for a gift. I model the diesel era, but I plan to paint over its garish colours and distress it to look like a leftover from the steam era that hasn't been torn down yet. My son did get me some cars which I wanted a few years ago--a couple of Canadian grain cars. I've got a grain elevator on the layout so they fit in nicely.

Two years running, my sister got me packs of Woodland Scenics trees.

You can NEVER have too many trees.  This year, I got figures - HO scale railroad workers and general industry types.  There's an LHS she shops at in Rhode Island.

Asked the wife for a gift certificate to LHS, got winter fir trees.  Am planning on modeling early fall (one hill with an early freak snowstorm?)  The acrylic paints and brushes fit OK.

She was further off with the clothes, three things several sizes to small!!

You could set up a display shelf with several of your items that you don't run too often - an old balky loco, duplicate cars, cars from distant roads that are sort of out of place, whatever.  Put it on there.

I won some things in a model rr club raffle that don't fit at all. However, if I take a small layout somewhere to display, they will be things that the kids can connect with and hopefully draw their attention.

Enjoy what did fit your scheme.

Have fun,

 

I recieve 2 Atlas 40' stock cars..While nice they don't fit my era..

I will return these cars for trade..Thankfully the receipt was enclosed..I wish more folk would do that.

 

As for your question I would make a display shelf for such things.

For the past 2 years I've had my parents put in an order for christmas for stuff I want. Haven't gone wrong with that*. 

*The 5 random athearn cars from trainworld netted me an ACF, an FMC, a 50', and a 40' box and an express reffer. The 3 former I can use, the later I re-gifted to some friends (the parent's didn't mind). The F45 I got for 2008 didn't actually arrive until febuary of 2009...

1948PRR

If they ask about the other one, simply explain that it doesn't fit the goal you are trying to achieve while thanking them and pointing out the other two..

Honesty DOES work sometimes, and it's an opportunity to eaplain what DOES fit your theme.

I'm in total agreement with 1948's statement above.  Just be honest with your folks about the remaining piece of rolling stock.  I honestly can't see them being hurt by the news; knowing that 4 of the 5 cars actually do fit into your era.

tbdanny, I think this incident could allow you a wonderful opportunity to "educate" your folks on 1) RRing rolling stock, 2) the PRR, and 3) the particular era you are modeling.  You never know how much that might help them in the future - i.e. should they still decide to "surprise" you with more items.  Doing this might also reinforce to them - especially if RR-related details go right over their head - that it might be wiser for them to just give you the $$$ (or gift certificate) so that you can make their model railroad-related present choices for you for them.

Hypothetically, had none of the rolling stock worked out for your era?  I would still tell them but would proudly display the cars up on a shelf somewhere as a visual and token reminder of the love your folks have for you.  I wouldn't feel obligated to run them on my layout either.

Case in point: I received an Athearn BB Santa Fe F7 from my father-in-law a few years back.  I strictly model the NYC in the early 40s so it obviously wouldn't fit either my 1) era, 2) RR line, or 3) region - i.e. trackage rights east of Chicago.  However, I do have the F7 proudly displayed on a piece of track on top of my computer case, right next to my keyboard.  I always think of Dad (my father-in-law) whenever I use my computer.  Dad also gave me an Athearn BB kit of an ATSF covered hopper (ca. 1950s) that I put together and have that up on a shelf in my train room.  I plan on using it whenever I run my trains on someone else's layout.

To sum it up, tbdanny: There are ways to be honest with others without wounding their feelings deeply.  There's a verse that summarizes it up well, "Speak the truth in love".  I think your folks will appreciate it and it will go a long way in other venues, as well.

My ...

Tom

You owe the people who gave you the gifts nothing more than your gratitude. Okay, you also owe them an explanation, not an hour's worth, but just a quick explanation that the one car doesn't model well for you, and why.  They ought to be relieved that they got most of it right, which, after all, was their intent and hope for you...and them.  And you will have served them by providing them with guidance for future gifts.  As grown-ups, they should be grateful for their partial success and for your education of them.  It may not work that way for all of them, but you owe them the truth.  Veritas vos liberabit!!!

What you do with the item should sit squarely with your conscience.  Store it...will you appreciate it in time?  Perhaps.  Maybe not.  Exchange or sell it?  Will you get something that brings you more utility?  Undoubtedly.  Is that what they had hoped?  Yes.

-Crandell

This seems a somewhat odd question for a hobby forum, but perhaps you are young. Speak to them directly and kindly, thank them for the generosity, explain that every model railroad item doesn't fit your layout just as every shirt in the world doesn't fit your Dad. Offer them alternatives such as purchasing you a gift certificate next time. Your parents will be grateful at the next gift-giving opportunity.

Otherwise, you're setting the stage for this to happen again every time they try to think of something to give you.

Thank you all for your replies.

Given that I'd have to put body-mounted micro-trains couplers on it to run it, I think I'll leave it on display somewhere - maybe on a spare siding.  If I pop the N scale TARDIS down right next to it, I may just be able to get away with having it there.

EDIT: I've got a post about a redundant DCC programming track in the DCC/electronics section.  I'm also planning to extend the roundhouse supply spur so I can store an upgraded Bachmann crane train on it (display only) - so if I keep the auto rack on the spare DCC track (out the back), I can just swap it for the crane train when my folks come around.

Thanks all,

tbdanny

tbdanny

Hi all,

Got a bit of a dilemma here, and I'm hoping for some advice.  For Christmas, my parents gave me a box of model freight cars they'd had a model railroading friend of the family pick up at a Buy and Sell.  Now I had previously asked them not to get me anything model-railroad related, as they didn't know what I needed or would fit my era.  Having said that, four of the five cars in this box did fit my era, including two Micro-Trains 50' gondolas in almost-new condition.  However, the car that did not is a mid-1970s 89-foot tri-level auto carrier, with late-90s/early 2000s autos glued to it.  I don't know what to do with this one.  I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I don't think it would fit on my layout (physically and realistically).  Any suggestions?

Thanks in advance,

tbdanny

 

 

Create a "Future Tech" railroad museum where the inventors trot out all their ideas for cars of the future! Or marketing campaigns of the future-- or alternate campaigns that never made it... like the Vlasic / Gerber / whatever cars. Stick it behind Thomas the Tank Engine, or that German Crocodile, or the Tyco GG-1 (snicker) along with some excursion cars and make an "Anachonism Train" out of 'em. Sell tickets to tourists and rail-fans to "Ride the Rails that Never Were..." or some such tag line.

 Yup stick in on a shelf some where and forget about it. It's what dads do with ugly ties, coffee mugs and other assorted gift items we will never use nor did we want but it was the thought that counts. Not to sound like Dr. Gloom & Doom but some day that little auto rack will bring a smile to your face because your parents through enough of you to give you something they thought you might enjoy if you know where I'm coming from.

Take the cars, and proceed to remove all the offending details, then re-superdetail it with details from the right era.

 This is the second thread on this form in the last few weeks about "bad" or inappropriate model-train-related gifts.  As someone above has pointed out, you should be glad that someone thought enough of you to spend their money and time finding a gift for you, appropriate or not.  If this becomes a "major" problem for you, you might take the suggestion of one of the posters about providing a wish list of those model RR items that will meet your exacting requirements and specifications.

Along these lines I'd like to relate a story about myself when I was young, dumb and not very considerate of anyone but my self.  At the time, I was a novice coin collector and was starting a collection of US Commemorative Quarters.  My father-in-law was an accomplished coin collector and he gave me one of the uncirculated quarters for my collection.  After examining it closely, I decide, while it was in uncirculated condition, that it did not meet my standards of perfection.  I took the coin back to the coin shop where he had purchased it and was a regular customer to negotiate an exchange for a much "better" uncirculated specimen.  While in the middle of the negotiations with the shop owner, who should walk in but my father-in-law.  He knew immediately what I was doing, but I made some lame excuse about being there looking for additional coins for my collection.  To his credit he never mentioned the incident again, but I never received another gift coin from him for the rest of his life.  I learned something from this experience, "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" because it might bite you.

I mention this incident in the hope that none of the people providing inappropriate gifts to you wander into this forum looking for ideas for their next gift and read your post.

May you receive nothing but approprate gifts in the future.

HAPPY NEW YEAR,

Bob

 Yes, do what I did, set up a track, now double track, around the Christmas tree each year and run those cars that you get for gifts that are not from your era. Everyone is happy...end of story.

 

"73"

I think the older we get, the tougher gift-giving becomes. There are several of my relatives that I just can't buy gifts for. So one car out of five being inappropriate isn't a disaster at all, in my view. I'm almost completely certain I've given gifts that quickly ended up being set aside or discarded.

Here's what I ended up doing. Last year I gave my wife a list of things I want for my layout. I was specific when I needed to be, generic when anything would do. It was a fairly long list. It wasn't about being greedy, it was about giving her options since I didn't really know what he would have available to buy right away. I told her the name of a store where I knew the owner would understand the list. She told him what she was looking to spend, and that any combination of these things would do based on cost and available inventory.

He helped her out, she bought a few things, brought them home, and wrapped them up. I was thrilled, and she was thrilled that I was thrilled. And there was still some element of surprise too, which I think is way, way better than just getting a gift card. Somehow we stumbled on a way to restore all the joy of gift-giving.

She's already told me I have to revise the list so she can do the same thing again. I'm going to ask her to give me a list too, of whatever she wants/needs/likes. And I may very well ask the rest of my relatives give me some kind of a list too. It makes for a much better Christmas morning than all the adults in the room exchanging gift cards.