Yeah, Kadee is the way to go. If you look at the couplers, they have a "hose" hanging down below the knuckle coupler. This is simply a metal piece. It's slightly off-center, so their uncoupler magnets will pull it to the side when they pass over. This opens the coupler, assuming there's no tension on the joint. In an ideal world, a moving train would have tension on the couplers, and they would stay together. In the real world, or even the real model train world, this works most of the time, but still fails often enough to be a nuisance. So, many of us use magnets only in yards and sidings, where we won't have trains uncoupling in motion unexpectedly. For my mainline uncoupling, I've got a button-activated electromagnet.
I'd say that I can do my uncoupling, switching and car-spotting without touching the cars 90% of the time. I'd like to make it 100%, but for the moment I'm satisfied. The key is getting the couplers themselves installed correctly and set to exactly the right height, so that they will interact with the magnets when you want them to.
Secret: Get the Kadee coupler installation gauge. Use it religiously. Get the trip-pin pliers, too. Yeah, you can do this with ordinary pliers, most of the time. But, if you buy the trip-pin pliers, you'll use them, just because you bought them. And then you'll get it right.