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[quote]QUOTE: Originally posted by MAbruce Bizarre Train Collision Claims Life of Unknown Animal UPI – Belmar Valley WV. Investigators in this sleepy whistle stop valley are still guessing at what a Norfolk & Western express freight train struck yesterday. According to officials, the lead locomotive of a fast moving freight train struck and killed an animal that was in the tracks approximately 50 yards inside a tunnel leading into the Belmar Valley. Exactly what they struck remains a mystery. “We were close to the end of the tunnel at the maximum posted speed when we felt a thud.” Clarence Jones, the Engineer explained, “I put the train into full emergency and stopped a couple minutes later. We walked the train but only found remains of something scattered all over the place. It couldn’t have been a person because it was too big a strike. The nose of my engine was a mess, and I understand the shop is still pulling the guts of something out of the lead trucks.” Local police and state animal control specialist examined the remains at the scene a short time later. They confirmed it was not a person, but were unable to identify the animal involved. “My first guess is a cow, but there hasn’t been a working farm around here in many years.” Explained police Sergeant Iam Blind, “But there was no red blood, just tan goo all over the place.” State animal control specialists denied finding any odd body parts, and offered no explanation for their special armed SWAT escort in the tunnel. “There be some awful strange things on that there mountain.” A local resident reluctantly explained, “This is not the first time this has happened. They had a whole [expletive deleted] Marine battalion here the last time. A search of local news stories failed to turn up any account of previous animal strikes. The investigation continues. [/quote] This is by far the best one, LOL. I love this stuff, keep going, this is better than the real news!
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