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The Scene: Way up on the something-teen floors of Union Pacific Office building in Omaha, we overhear the conversation of a couple of upper-middle-managers discussing current issues on the UP . . . Voice #1 - "Did you hear what our Legal Department did today?" Voce #2 - "No." V1 - "They took Lionel and Athearn to Court for Trademark Infringement" V2 - "You're kidding. With all of the other **** going on and that's all the better they have to do?" V1 - "Evidently" V2 - "Why just Athearn and Lionel?" V1 - "Sounds like they were the only ones who had balls enough not to cave in to our new Licensing Agreement" V2 - "So, how much is it worth?" V1 - "Well, if you figure all of the stuff they make, it probably adds up to a couple of hundred bucks a day." V2 - "So while we are losing millions a day because our Dwell Time is up, our Average Train Speed is down, we don't have enough Crews, and are Customers are getting PO'd, our couple hundred dollars an hour Lawyers are shaking down model railroad manufacturers for a couple hundred bucks a day??" V1 - "Sure. In this day, you need to look at all of your revenue streams. All these outfits selling stuff with our logo on it. And not only our logo. Also, the logos of all of the stuff we've acquired over the years - SP, Rio Grande, Northwestern, MoPac. A little here, a little there, it all adds up. It's almost as good as actually delivering cars to customers, except we don't incur any expense while doing it. It's all profit and someone else does all the work." V2 - "I suppose that gives us another out with Wall Street. I see it now -- UP announces lower 2nd Quarter Earnings because Athearn and Lionel refused to pay their Licensing Fees. Sounds to me like we need to put our Legal Deparment to some good use, like running trains!" V1 - "Lawyers running trains?? That's a scary thought. I don't think you'd ever get a Lawyer to trade in a ride in his Beemer for one of them rough riding GE's. Then, they'd probably get dirty, too. Can't have that. Hell, letting railfans run trains would be a whole lot more productive. Actually, that was another brainstorm that came out of meeting I was in the other day trying to figure out this Crew Shortage thing. We are going to setup a Fantasy Railroad Camp, where Railfans pay us $2000 a week to work for the railroad. Now, that's a revenue generator. I bet railfans would line up for blocks!" V2 - "Railfans?? What about the Saftey Issues? You can't just turn Railfans lose on the Railroad! Besides, we've spent years running them off the property." V1 - "Safety is only a problem when trains are moving. Since most of are trains aren't moving these days, it isn't an issue. And when they do move, it is slow, like a shortline on Exempt Track. Can't do much damage at that speed." V2 - "Hard to argue with that. I dunno. Still seems to me, we should be a little more worried about not letting the railroad melt down again." V1 - "We will protect our trademarks because -- WE CAN ! That's our new motto." V2 - "We can?? We can what?? I though it use to be We can Handle It." V1 - "It used to be, but obviously, we couldn't. So, we went with We Can, because it is less committal. We didn't want another PR Disaster like that We Will Deliver fiasco a couple of years back." V2 - "Well, I thought I heard just about everything. What's next?? Have our Car Ordering number forward to JB Hunt??" V1 - "Now that you mention it. . . It would save us having to make the call ourselves"
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