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Deception:How much does your wife know about your trains? Quantity and number of trains.

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Posted by dougdagrump on Friday, March 11, 2005 9:04 PM
After reading the responses on this thread something is kinda puzzling.
The guys are train nuts and several spouses are doll nuts, mine included. [swg]
Is there some sort of correlation here ???????

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Posted by tschmidt on Friday, March 11, 2005 10:32 PM
Isn't one of the main things in marriage honesty. Your wife is supposed to be your best friend. I feel sorry for you if you can't tell her what you're doing...and I feel sorry for her because of your deception.

Tom
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Posted by mmartian22 on Saturday, March 12, 2005 7:57 AM
deceptiving your wife about your hobby isn't right ,but i,ve been in model railroading for 45 yr s even befer i was married ,she knew i was an avvided railroader when she married me .she found out when she bought my first 4884 steam engine over 35 yrs ago .as a birthday present.she found it to be a real expensive hobby to get into. we usually check the bubget before buying anything .
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Posted by underworld on Saturday, March 12, 2005 2:06 PM
macaste Alternate address? Two sets of books? Sounds more like tactics that would be practiced by someone with the moniker underworld! [:p][:p][:p][:p][:p] I'm not married so I don't need to submit any "bids" ! Chicks are smart......she'll get you eventually. I would start trying to figure out a good way to tell her.......or at least a way to tell her with the least amount of repercussions possible.
garyseven Sounds like you've figured out a really good method! Do you think it's more that she's annoyed to hear about it.....or just bored! [:p][:p][:p][:p][:p]
dougdagrump Yuu might be on to something. Maybe that's just the most common collector item for women. I know a lot of guys that collect die cast cars, a lot of other guys that collect sports memorabilia, and a lot of guys that collect guns. Most of their wives/girlfriends collect dolls. Once I even saw a gun and doll show advertised! [%-)][%-)][%-)][%-)][%-)] If anyone has ever looked.....some of the dolls can be quite high priced. Dolls from artists like Annette Himstedt can easily be in the $700 range and higher.

So if your wife or girlfriend doesn't approve....get her involved in this....or some hobby!

underworld

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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, March 12, 2005 5:56 PM
the less the better
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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, March 12, 2005 6:52 PM
Its not the trains, its the investments. My wife has absolutely no interest in talking about investment options. My wife is very nervous about the whole thing. We did take a beating when the market tanked a few years ago.

I have discovered a company which has designed a video telephone incorporating cutting edge technology and a major company has signed a multiyear, exclusive marketing and distribution agreement with them. the product won Best of Innovations in Design and Engineering Award at the International Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas in January. It was a "product placement" on the popular prime time Fox Network show "24" and is due to be "launched" in April.

I have invested to the hilt in it. It will have competition but is likely to have significant market share and competition will just add legitimacy to the new industry of video telephonics.

I had Lionel trains as a boy. bought with money saved from deposits on milk bottles! I have not been in a position to spend money on the luxury of model trains, what with private school and college tuitions to pay over the years. Did manage a small HO layout at one point.

If my ship comes in with this company I have invested in I will retire and have plenty of time and money for once in my life.

I have not told my wife just how big a stake I have in it because she would be too afraid. On the other hand the more shares I buy the better I feel because the stock will not have to move as much to reach my goal, which is feasible in time.

I am not hyping the stock but just in case anyone is curious check out motorola.com/ojo to see it. ojoworld.com has organized links and the company's website is wgate.com

I have a friend who just keeps buying locomotives and leaves them in the boxes they came in! He took some out to show me. He makes a good living so money is evidently not an object.

I agree with everyone that deceit in a marriage interferes with the intimacy that is possible when you share everything. But I sympathize with the guy who is practically being unfaithful in a way. But I am doing the same thing with the investments. Hopefully the day will come when the truth can be shared.

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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, March 12, 2005 6:54 PM
Its not the trains, its the investments. My wife has absolutely no interest in talking about investment options. My wife is very nervous about the whole thing. We did take a beating when the market tanked a few years ago.

I have discovered a company which has designed a video telephone incorporating cutting edge technology and a major company has signed a multiyear, exclusive marketing and distribution agreement with them. the product won Best of Innovations in Design and Engineering Award at the International Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas in January. It was a "product placement" on the popular prime time Fox Network show "24" and is due to be "launched" in April.

I have invested to the hilt in it. It will have competition but is likely to have significant market share and competition will just add legitimacy to the new industry of video telephonics.

I had Lionel trains as a boy. bought with money saved from deposits on milk bottles! I have not been in a position to spend money on the luxury of model trains, what with private school and college tuitions to pay over the years. Did manage a small HO layout at one point.

If my ship comes in with this company I have invested in I will retire and have plenty of time and money for once in my life.

I have not told my wife just how big a stake I have in it because she would be too afraid. On the other hand the more shares I buy the better I feel because the stock will not have to move as much to reach my goal, which is feasible in time.

I am not hyping the stock but just in case anyone is curious check out motorola.com/ojo to see it. ojoworld.com has organized links and the company's website is wgate.com

I have a friend who just keeps buying locomotives and leaves them in the boxes they came in! He took some out to show me. He makes a good living so money is evidently not an object.

I agree with everyone that deceit in a marriage interferes with the intimacy that is possible when you share everything. But I sympathize with the guy who is practically being unfaithful in a way. But I am doing the same thing with the investments. Hopefully the day will come when the truth can be shared.

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Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, March 13, 2005 12:42 PM
All my trains are on the table. She encouraged me to get back into the hobby, and since the bills continue to be paid and the debt remains low, she has had no issues with my ttrain spending. She appreciates the fact that I've reached the point where I sell something in order to make space for any new purchases. Hey, it keeps me at home and happy!
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Posted by MartyE on Sunday, March 13, 2005 2:11 PM
It's none of her business.

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Posted by 3railguy on Sunday, March 13, 2005 2:50 PM
My wife collects N scale bilboard reefers. And to get even she makes sure they are the better variety by Atlas and Micro Trains.
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Posted by jonadel on Sunday, March 13, 2005 4:35 PM
Gee Marty, I'll bet she really appreciates your sensitive side.

Jon

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Posted by tjsprague on Monday, March 14, 2005 8:05 AM
As I said before, I'm at full disclosure. But a funny story as to how it started.

As I got into collecting I made small tags which display the catalogue number, year of manufacture and catalogue price for the set. They're backed with velcro tape as I'm always rearrainging. So my wife was admiring my presentation.....

"....gee honey, that's a pretty nice set for $27.50" she said.

That's when we sat down and had a talk. ;-)
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Posted by Anonymous on Monday, March 14, 2005 7:17 PM
For better or worse. I wonder what she's hiding. Not a good way to live......
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Posted by beefmalone on Saturday, December 10, 2005 12:35 AM
Seems like some of you guys have a pretty idealized view of marriage (or I suppose I'm just more cynical than most). The original poster sounds like he's got his stuff together so his bases are covered in case of a divorce. I doubt he was expecting a bunch of relationship advice. :) Of course, my $.02 is that he started off on the wrong foot if his wife can really tell him "no" to something & that would be that. You have to train them early. :D

Now nobody goes into marriage expecting to get divorced, but let's face it the odds are that it will happen. I've seen too many guys who had former spouses take them to the cleaners not to appreciate someone who is taking care of his business. 8D
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Posted by Tom1947 on Saturday, December 10, 2005 5:39 AM
I have never hidden what I spent for trains. My first wife did not mind and never mentioned them during the devorice. This one does not care what I spend on trains. I do not think that you can hide something in a relationship and have a good relationship. My fathers sister took my trains to the garage when I was living with my grandmother. My ex-wife and grandmother helped me carrry them back into the house. My aunt would show up and go on a cleaning spree this years target was the upstairs sun room. At the time they were being stored. It was a great place to run trains..
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Posted by danrunner on Saturday, December 10, 2005 7:03 AM
I tell my wife everything. She likes the hobby. I encourage her to get her hair done and all of that nail/spa/massage stuff. It's her thing. I respect her weakness (pampering) and she respects mine (trains and time for a gym workout).

I told her early on that my trains are my mistress and my drinking buddy. It's good clean fun. I told her what my one professor said: "everyone has a mistress...make yours a good one." He was a computer nerd on the side. I get his point and so does my wife. Subtract alcohol (except an occasional bottle of wine) cigarettes, and the price of bar alcohol and my hobby is really cheap. She just bought me the $1,ooo super O freight set from Lionel.

We're both happy and we're both honest.

dan
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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, December 10, 2005 7:44 AM
I have never tried to hide my trains from her. She sees all of them when my grandchildren run the layout[unfinished].
During the first 25 years of marriage I could not afford to spend very much on trains[HO then]. My major expenditures for trains have occurred after age 55.
For the first time ever she bought me trains for Christmas and our 50th anniversary. A Y3, N&W "J" and six car passenger set . I feel like I won the lottery.[:)]
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Posted by ChiefEagles on Saturday, December 10, 2005 8:26 AM
My ex-wife b***hed about every penny I spent on the trains [every penny I spent on anything] and had to slip everything I bought. I was enjoying them with my son [who was little at the time]. One day, I packed the trains and the kids and we left. I left what was remaining of the layout for her and her boyfriend to demolish. I think I came out the winner. Present wife is very supportive of my trains [I unpacked them about two years ago]. No secrets now.

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Posted by daan on Saturday, December 10, 2005 1:27 PM
My Girl has her horsies, I have my trains. They're both habbies and we both leave some money from our wages to spend on our hobby. She knows everything I buy for the trains and i know everything about the horsies. But it's not her thing, she likes me having the hobby, but she's not interested.
As long as the bills are paid, it's fine with her.
Daan. I'm Dutch, but only by country...
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Posted by cnw1995 on Saturday, December 10, 2005 5:17 PM
Boy, beefmalone is resurrecting all these threads. How nice! I've noticed I've not been as forthcoming lately - she doesn't have a real idea how expensive these can be...

Doug Murphy 'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers...' Henry V.

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Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, December 10, 2005 6:59 PM
I recently bought Mrs. PE her own Cab 1. She is nervous using it, afraid she will break something, but is getting the hang of it.....Tim
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Posted by otftch on Saturday, December 10, 2005 9:12 PM
When we met I built model airplanes and had a basement full of trains.It was my decision to get rid of the trains (not hers,she actually fought me on it.) as I knew I couldn't have both and raise a family.She always knew I would start up with my trains again,I didn't ! Now I have a room with over 3000 model airplanes and another with trains and she has always supported me.I know sometimes she regrets that she didn't complain but we've spent 36 years together and now she helps withthe trains and helps out with our club.I guess I was just lucky.
Ed
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Posted by dwiemer on Saturday, December 10, 2005 11:09 PM
My bride is a stay at home mom to our two crumbsnatchers. I would not and could not hide a delivery of trains. She has noticed enough deliveries from the UPS folks to know the number of trains I have gotten. She also has taken over the bill paying and knows exactly how much I spend. After nearly $10K in trains this year, she has asked me to hold it until we have the building for the layout done. I am mostly abiding (had to make an exception for the Williams GG1 offer). We have a very open and understanding relationship. She also appreciates the excitement of the kids to go play with Dad in the trainroom. I am blessed.

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Posted by crip on Sunday, December 11, 2005 7:21 AM
After twenty six years of wedded bliss my wife and I still agree that home and family come
first. We are both upfront about extra puchases for hobbies or otherwise.
BTW my hobbies are trains and model cars,her's are garage sales and home improvement. Mark

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Posted by Roger Bielen on Sunday, December 11, 2005 8:01 AM
The less she knows the better for me. We have the same policy as the pentagon, "Don't ask, don't tell"
[X-)]
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Posted by BNSFNUT on Sunday, December 11, 2005 5:01 PM
I don't have a problem anymore. Got rid of wife, kept trains [:D].
Ok she liked the trains other things got in the way [:(]
Now I don't have to worry about how much I spend exept when the credit card bills arrive
[:O]

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